Help! My 22 year old son is jealous

Judy H.
on 6/13/04 1:53 pm - Peoria, AZ
Does any one have a suggestion on how I should handle the following. My 22 year old son is having a hard time dealing with my pending surgery. It's not that I am having surgery, but that I will be losing weight and he won't. He is 6'3" and weighs about 390. My surgery is scheduled for August 2nd, and I think he is a little threatened by it. We have talked, and he admits that he knows how much and for how long I have struggled with my weight, and understands that much, but tonight he told me that he is selfish, and is jealous that I am going to get thin. This is a boy who doesn't want to work for it, and has not made any serious attempts to lose the weight. He drinks regular pop, (no water), eats terribly (no fruit or veggies). I feel that he could benefit from professional counseling, but at this time he has no health insurance. What should I do?
Stephanie J.
on 6/13/04 2:31 pm - Tucson, AZ
All you can do is be the best person you can and set that example for when he decides he'll follow. Do right by yourself. - Stephanie J
Clara W.
on 6/13/04 3:02 pm - Benson, AZ
Judy, Take him with you to support group meetings! Let him learn what is going to happen with you and then maybe he will also want to follow in your footsteps. In Cochise County we have SEABAS which deals with counselling and is funded by the state. Check to see if there is something like that where you live. My son is 27 and his mom has been an influence on him, he has lost about 40 lbs. since I had surgery. He wants to be healthier and is trying real hard to do it on his own. He is also looking into ACChESS. So your son has to want to do this for himself. Clara
dianeb
on 6/14/04 4:33 am - surprise, AZ
Misery loves company!!! I feel for you. I have the same problem with my sister. It is now to the point that I do not talk about food, diets or exercise with her. I just have a great time spending time with her. But, I am always there to answer or discuss and questions she has about my surgery. You might find out that you will become the motivator in the house. He might enjoy taking walks with you or maybe trading in pop for crystal light. You never know!! Good Luck Diane
(deactivated member)
on 6/14/04 5:23 am - El Mirage, AZ
Send him HERE. This place is a WEALTH of info. Maybe he'll get motivated and/or inspired. I know I was, way back last year! (I'm 7 mo. out now) As I was saying to my friend Connie the other day, over lunch. I look @ heavy people differently. Not like "I'm BETTER than them now", but rather, I feel sad because I want and think that EVERYONE should feel as awesome as I feel. No one should hurt, or hate themselves due to people being so cruel towards obese people. Plus, the health benefits of being slimmer....of course! Perhaps once he see's the benefits that YOU will reap....he'll change his mind. Good luck! ~Michelle 65+pounds gone
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