I can't believe he said it.

Weel folks, I know most of you do not know my personal situation. I am 36 and was married for 18 years then got divorced. My boyfriend (who is 47 and disabled)has been living with me for a year and a half. Ok now to the point. He just told me that I am going to be embarking on a whole new life soon and he just isn't sure whether he will be able to keep up with me. He just doesn't want to hold me back. He is thinking that maybe he needs to move out before hand. , What the *&$@, does he think I am going to NOT have the surgery so he can keep up with me. We would have to hire someone to come in and dust us. I am just so angry right now. This is suppose to be my time and how he is suppose to be there for me to get through this. I don't have family just 3 kids. Wonderful though they are. It isn't the same. Ok I'll quit whining now. Tammy

Tammy, First of all I want to say from personal experience mind you, that you should not let ANYONE stand in your way of happiness. These are the last moments you will ever be "Normal" again. Live it up girl and I mean it. I would bet that your boyfriend is just scared. He is afraid that you will loose weight, get even more beautiful, and dump him. Now you and I know that is a crock of crap but he is scared. I would sit down with him and talk heart to heart. If this is not his problem and he is just being a jerk than my advice would be to kick him to the curb. You do not need this kind of stress right before a life changing event. Good luck and keep us posted Tanya T

Well Tanya; I have an update. After much soul searching between the two of us. He has decided that he wants to go through this journey and the rest with me. He asked me to marry him and I accepted. We are getting married on Dec. 6 in Mesa at his mom's house. Thanks for your support. Tammy

Tammy - It sounds like he is afraid you will become thin and beautiful and leave him. Kind of his pre-emptive strike. Must be a bit of a male pride thing. What you might need to try to get him to understand is that the fact that he is handicapped is not the reason you would leave him, but if he is a jerk that is a different issue. Beyond that this is your time to focus on what you need and he will either make the trip with you or he won't. I hope he will because it could end up being a wonderful trip for the two of you. Sandra

Tammy, I think that was a particularly poor attempt at emotional manipulation on your boyfriend's part. Trust me, I know a great deal about this. My husband was blind, but functioned very well and independently. Although he was brilliant, very handsome and a wonderfully nice guy, he was insecure about our relationship. After I had our child, I was getting ready to go back to work when he made a comment similar to the one your boyfriend made. I told him that I was moving ahead, I loved him and would love for him to move forward in life with me, but it was up to him. He could choose to keep up or he could eat my dust, but I was moving on. Thankfully, he did a wonderful job of keeping up. Don't allow yourself to be emotionally manipulated. No one wins. Best wishes, Connie