I do digest... part 4

Monday, November 17, 2003 4:49 pm: Oops. There's a day's gap in there. What was it that happened yesterday? What besides an egg, cottage cheese and the best damned dinner I can remember eating? My daughter, Jennifer, is an incredible cook. She wiped a non-stick skillet with olive oil, Lawry-salted a filet of farmed catfish and it was lip-smackin' table-poundin' friggin-licious! She also made and froze a 16-bean concoction that was to die for. Pssst... Don't tell anyone... ANYONE! Closer... I ate an eensy little tiny bit of brocolli flower with my meal. Not a teaspoon, even. But oh, what a divine addition to protein. I chewed it to smithereens. I NEVER imagined in my whole life that I'd be "sneaking" bites of vegetables or sips of water. Okay, so today... Soft boiled egg. Great. No problem. Lunch just a few minutes ago (at 4:45) was cottage cheese. Salted well, it tastes great. Goes down well. Dinner will be tonight when I get home from teaching. I'm going to go duplicate the catfish. The amounts I'm eating are a howl. If you'd shown me what I'd be eating immediately after surgery I might have been frightened to death! I'd have thought I'd be starved out of my mind. Well, this evening I had my first real solid trigger and the craving popped me hard. Yes, I know you are scrambling from word to word... perhaps even skimming to the bottom to see what it was that I so deeply longed for. Okay, here it is: Starbucks' Triple Venti Carmel Macchiato. As I drove west on Speedway, realizing that Country Club was within a couple of miles, I just groaned inside. I felt miserable like I haven't felt since the last time I tried to go on a diet. I picked up the phone and called my daughter, Jennifer, and told her what had just hit. She paused a moment and casually mentioned remembering a section of her cultural anthropology class where the aboriginal tribes of this continent were noted for honoring "transition." So... I settled back and just noticed the feelings... All the things I didn't get to wrap up at home... And all the things that I was trying to rev up for at the University... I saw how hard it is to sit with both. And I breathed and just stayed soft and pliant as I continued my drive. Very hard, but very enlightening to see just what that Starbucks' does for me. Ahem. Did for me. I I I! That's all I think about right now. Get this: I got on the scale today. I've lost 25 pounds since the night before I went to the hospital! Water? Who cares. It's 25 pounds *I* am not carrying! Walking from the parking lot to the Psychology Building was SO much easier today. Most of the cramping in my back has subsided, except after standing for a long time in the classroom tonight. At 6:30, after an hour's lecture, I was sweaty... It was cold in the room and so I figured I was probably over the edge in tired. So, I ended class. Funny, they never complain about that! I'm feeling good about this thing I've done. Really good! More tomorrow! Night night time! With love, Patti Harada in Tucson A Moxie Doxey Doll at 10 days post op Definition of Moxie The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.

Patti.....You make me laugh! I do not think I put that much thought into food and stuff. I dont really like to eat at this point. I just do because I have to not because I want to. Nothing tastes very good and I never have an appitite. I am glad to see that you still have your funny sense of humor and spirit. Lend me some will ya?? Tanya T

Oh Patti Honey, you make me laugh. I so look forward to your posts. Not only are they funny but informative to boot. Keep it up ladybug. You are so good for all of us. Tammy

Patti - I am sure enjoying participating in your journey. You certainly have a way of making this very real to us. hmmmm. Wonder what I will miss most? Sandra