I do digest... part 3b

Saturday, November 15, 2003 5:56 pm: Lunch at 1:00 was left-over salmon from Mimi's. Scrumptious, one little tiny bite at a time. And I feel so good about myself for doing this really healthy thing for me. Don't take that last sentence lightly! How long has it been since I felt good about something I stuck in my mouth. Oh, I have put healthy things in my mouth before, but I didn't feel good about it, I felt deprived! Now, I can imagine all the health running through my blood. Silly? Part of my shut off from my food while eating in the past was so that I didn't have to imagine what horrible things I was doing to my body. We stopped at Whole Foods after my client's celebration. There's darned little in the house for Jennifer to eat and we thought there might be some good fish. Got some. As I wandered through the store back to the front, I was overwhelmed in a new way by something that always overwhelms me while in any store. It's the abundance of foods and products and how they're displayed; how attractive they are. And here's the deal: I feel RELIEF!!!! I always lost the battle with all that stuff. And it was wretched choosing which and what, and more wretched taking all when I couldn't make a choice. And now it's over. I just feel relief. How do you spell relief? Roux-en-y! It's no longer an issue. It's not about me. I don't have to look at it as anything other than decoration. I paid for my fish and left. My walk this afternoon was painful again (I didn't get out until this afternoon, and I think I'm supposed to still be doing that every two hours ) This time in the middle left quadrant of my back. Excruciatingly painful. Nothing in the aftermath of my surgery has been as painful as this cramping in my back as my weight shifts. To the extent my tender abdomen allows, I bend, I stretch, I squat, only to get tiny moments of relief. No wonder I waited until this afternoon. I dread it horribly. Getting health restored to my body is going to be a real test of persistence! Saturday, November 15, 2003 8:39 pm: I'm getting ready for bed. I just had a long talk with Jimmie and I feel so NOT alone. What a great experience this is! I finished the salmon from Mimi's tonight. A little re-fried beans with it. Just enjoyable. I didn't have to fight myself to stay present this evening. Tasty, satisfying. I'm STILL having hideous cravings for liquid after a meal. Tonight I sipped about a teaspoon and got some relief. I don't know what to make of this. I'm going to bed. My surgery feels fine, but my mid back SUCKS! Love to you all! Patti Harada in Tucson A Moxie Doxey Doll at 8 days post op Definition of Moxie: The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage. Patti Your Love Matters! mailto:[email protected] http://www.lovematters.net

Patti; Thank you so much for all of your posts, not only are they entertaiing they are informative. My boyfriend reads them too. I do appreciate all of your insight into this and all of your help with getting Cignahell to approve me. You and Michelle are great. I don't have any family except my kids but feel very lucky to have found this site and all of my new web family. Tammy

I too am very grateful to you for these posts. You are inspiring me to work hard to put into my life the principles and practices Dr. B. teaches. Thanik you so much for sharing your process, and the emotions you're experiencing. Best of luck as you continue with this amazing adventure!