Patti post from Patti
Dear loved supporting friends!
For those of you who have no idea who I am and need a frame of reference, I'm Patti Harada, I live in Tucson. I'm 56. My BMI is 44. I weighed 258 pounds before they pumped me full of IV fluids during surgery which caused a 7 pound weight GAIN!. I am a cigna sufferer who lost every battle and won the war and I'm deeply attached and devoted to my weight loss support group members!!!
I haven't read even one message yet. When I went to download Email messages, it said that I had 1300 messages waiting. I didn't think I wanted to tie up a hotel telephone line long enough to get those, so I'll see what's happening in YOUR lives when I get back to Tucson, download via Internet cable and sift the junk and work to the "do later" pile.
I'm still somewhat in shock that I'm writing to you with a markedly abbreviated stomach pouch!
All the things I want to tell you about my experience are flooding out at once and getting stuck together like keys on an old Royal typewriter.
I just ate my second "solid" meal, and I'm waiting for the 30 minutes to pass so I can drink water again. This is a way of eating... living... that goes beyond anything I've ever imagined myself able to do.
This evening, as this afternoon, I found myself eating each bite so carefully... so uncertain about what it's going to do. Is it going in for keeps? Or am I going to be looking at it in my lap here shortly? Am I full yet? What does full feel like? I only know stuffed and super stuffed. Anybody have any words on this?
And the moment between, "I might be full...I think this is what full feels like" reveals long-standing but so-far unnoticed fears... "What if I get hungry later?". I never knew I had those fears. They aren't new. I've always had them. They feel as old as my teeth!
If you've not gotten your surgery yet, I want to tell you that it is so much easier than my fears told me. I was prepared for awful. I had some unpleasant moments. It isn't easy hoisting myself up into a sitting position or a standing position. It never has been. Now, though, it feels tender; not sharp pain; just sore.
I feel bloated... bloated like this: Remember Thanksgiving dinners where you ate until you couldn't move? And then you ate pie? And then you moaned when you tried to sit straight or get up and walk? THAT is how I felt after surgery, and that part eases every day. I don't know if others experience that, but many people I watched walk in the hospital and today in my post-op class seemed to be walking with the same stiff-legged posture.
I'm still in the Scottsdale Hotel tonight. After the five-hour class and the doctor's appointment, I didn't want the 2 plus hour drive back to Tucson. I'll head home around 10:00 tomorrow morning.
You know... I had my heart set on having Dr. Blackstone do my surgery. I love her SO much, and I couldn't imagine having surgery done by someone I felt such affection for. It turned out that I couldn't wait long enough for that to happen. Know what? Doxey is just wonderful. Gentle, warm, humorous, very present... and listens longer than the statistically common 32 seconds available with other doctors. Melissa is great. Everybody is so good at what they do, and I feel truly protected and supported by this whole deal!
So, I'll write again when I have energy and concentration! Love to you all!
Patti Harada in Tucson
Your Love Matters!
mailto:[email protected]
http://www.lovematters.net
Patti - it is wonderful to hear from you. You sound wonderful and are now on the losing side of things. That weight gain is just the fluids they pumped into you and basically an "artificial" number. I will try to remember that when it is my turn. Wow, 1300 emails!! Have a safe trip home to Tucson.
Sandra