Why did I do that? I need help :(

Well I'm about 3-1/2 weeks out of surgery and doing better than expected. TOO better than expected. I'm experiencing NO restriction whatsoever. None....nada....zilch.

The first two weeks I did just fine..... but now I feel the same way I did pre-op, just with more burping. I have my fill scheduled for this upcoming Tuesday (I'm getting mine 2 weeks earlier than usual since I've healed so well... normally my doc starts them aroung 6 weeks).

This sounds stupid.... but it feels like I don't even HAVE a band in me. I mean.... I've been at a plateau for about 5 days now with no weight gain or loss.... despite sticking to a healthy diet.

I totally f*cked up today though. My guilty pleasure my ENTIRE life has been pizza. Well, what did they order in my office today for lunch? Pizza.... of course. And of course.... it was left on the counter by my desk (I sit at a receptionist desk)..... so what did I do? Of course. I ate some.

And ya know.... I wouldn't be kicking myself over a few bites or even a small piece.

But I REALLY screwed up. I ate HALF of a medium pizza. Four freaking pieces. And it went down effortlessly.

How the HELL did I get FOUR pieces of pizza in without projectile vomiting? I'm SO disgusted with myself right now... I've been doing SO WELL up until this point. I've learned to read labels when grocery shopping.... I have protein shakes for breakfast and dinner.... and a yummy 130-calorie, low carb, low-sodium vegetarian soup for lunch.....

And today I probably just ate like... what... 3 million calories? And it's not even so much the calories.... I know I can get back on track..... it's the fact that I crammed my face with such a LARGE volume of food.

What the f*ck was I thinking? Duh, obviously I wasn't. Aggggh I'm so angry at myself. Stupid decisions like this are why people FAIL at WLS.... and why bands erode/slip/get screwed up. I thought I was in better control of myself than this.... but obviously I need to avoid pizza. Or insist that they move it away from my freaking desk.

Sigh. I feel like a mega failure. On Tuesday, I'm gonna ask him to fill it as much as possible.

HEY THERE:


You're not a failure!!! You probably won't feel restrction until your 3rd and beyond fills.

You're losing over 3 pounds a week--keep up the good work!!!

You don't want to order a too agressive fill--it'll probably end up being between 1 and 2.5cc's.

It's also good that you're not getting a fill before the holiday weekend--you'll need the doc to be in town in case you need an unfill.

You're doing great!! Work on developing healthy pizza recipes. theworldaccordingtoeggface.com has several low-carb tortilla pizza recipes.

Have a good weekend!

Hey,
Don't beat yourself up....we all have moments of weakness.....shake it off and start a new day....  

Take care,
Candy