Hope to see you in Phoenix!

Hi all. I am really excited to meet you all in Phoenix, I hope you can make it to the event. We have a really fun and wonderful day planned that I am sure you will enjoy. My favorite part is hearing your stories and getting to know each of you personally. If you're planning to come, please come and introduce yourself! I would love to meet you.

I will be speaking at the event and here's a little preview..... One thing seems to be true of how most marriages change with WLS: the surgery intensifies the state of the relationship. If your marriage is a strong one, it is likely to stay strong—as long as you prepare and talk openly and honestly about your wants, needs and expectations of the relationship. If your marriage is not as strong, WLS is likely to stress it even further. If your marriage could use a little help, I strongly recommend working with a marriage counselor before the weight loss surgery. Whether your relationship is great right now or could use some fine-tuning, the tips below are designed to enhance your marriage before, during and after WLS. As you change, your relationship needs to adapt. The secrets to a strong and loving relationship are talking and listening. Secrets to Talking Say what’s on your mind. Express your concerns, worries and fears. Problems don’t get better if we ignore them. Really say what you mean. Don’t hint, just kindly ask for what you want or need. Hinting statement: “Don’t you think it’s hot in here?” Kind request: “Honey, would you please adjust the AC? I am really hot.” Beware of ESP, wishing and wondering. Don’t expect someone to read your mind. ESP example: “What is he doing over there? Doesn’t he know I need help?” Wishing statement: “I sure wish you’d go with me. You know I don’t like to go alone.” Wondering statement: “I wonder if you’re concerned about the dishes piling up?” Say what you want, not what you don’t want. We often spend more time saying what we do not want, which leaves our partner wondering what we do want. Make it easy on them: tell them what you want. Don’t want statement: “I don’t want to go to that boring movie.” Do want statement: “I really want to go see that new Anthony Hopkins thriller.” Make requests instead of complaints. Complaint: “I don’t like that outfit you’re wearing.” Request: “That outfit is pretty casual for the restaurant we’re going to. I’d feel more comfortable if you wore something a little dressier, especially since I am wearing a suit.” Use gentle, calming and emotional words. Inflammatory statement: “Mark, stop driving like a maniac! You’re going to get us killed, and when you make those sharp turns, I want to throw up!” Calming statement: “Mark, I’m feeling a little sick. Would you please drive more slowly?” Speak about yourself instead of speaking for the other person. Speaking for someone else: “You make me feel unattractive: you never compliment me.” Speaking about yourself: “I feel unattractive. When you don’t compliment me, I think I must not look good to you.” Use “I” statements. Your statement: “You never help me around the house!” I statement: “I’m really pretty wiped out. Would you please help me with the laundry?” The magic expression: “When you _____, I _____.” This works wonders with almost any situation. If you use the template above, you can tell your partner what they are doing or saying that is hurting you and then follow it up with a request. Five things to avoid: Guessing what your partner is feeling, guessing what your partner is thinking, labeling your partner, criticizing your partner and commanding your partner to do or not do something.

What a wonderful informative message! When I went to high school in California, they had a class called Basic Oral Communication (it was required then), and I remember learning a lot of these communication basics during that class. Some of course have been lost with the mists of time, so it's a good thing you posted a refresher for me!  I'm very much looking forward to meeting you next weekend! 

WOW!  What great information.  Sounds like it will be a blast! Are you dressing up for the costume ball?