keep reaching for 2XL

Hey Nicole -  I am also a NY transplant, but a MET fan and not a Yankee fan!  :)  Funny how we all think so much alike cause I too thank people for the compliment, but then say " I have a long road ahead of me", Judy looks like we all have to work on that one!!!  Also I am still early in my loss, but I am still wearing all my 3X / 4X clothes, just what I am comfortable in for now, but the shirts are getting longer, now covering my ass fully and the sleeves are now down to my forearms, so it will soon be time for me too to start making some change, but not sure how I will adjust with that.  I just had my hair done differently, had the same hair since High school, years ago and thats been a hard adjustment with people saying how nice it looks, Just not use to compliments!!!  Keep up the great work Nicole and SORRY your Yankees didn't do so well this year, R U  a JETS or a GIANTS fan????  Later..................

Hi Nicole: At work on Wednesday I bumped into someone I had not seen since my operation. She could not believe how much I had lost. But I don't know why it totally embarrassed me. I noticed when I get compliments I am always saying "I have so much more to loose". Where in fact I have now lost close to 85 lbs and look better then I have in years. I think with me my self esteen was low because of my weight and its just going to take some time to feel better about myself. I too have finally started to get rid of my clothes and it was hard. I kept thinking am I going to gain the weight back.  Our bodies have just gone and still going thur a major change. Maybe it just takes our mind a little longer to catch up.

Pam

Nicole, Don't forget to give yourself more credit.  You are responsible for all of the good decisions that have gotten you where you are today.  The surgery is only one step in the process.  The rest you are completely responsible for!!  You decided to take control, and make changes. 

Anyway... I think you're doing great!!!

--Dave

Thanks everyone for your comments... I do appreciate them!  Tonight I ran into a old co-worker who I haven't seen in months... she was floored.  She said "who are you and what have you done with Nicole?"  It was funny... but quickly changed the focus to her.   I am enjoying life... even thou work is controlling it.  As the confidence builds up, I am getting more assertive, which I think is good. Have a good weekend everyone!

Nicole, You are right on with your points.  I didn't realize when I had the surgery that losing the weight was only part of my personal transformation.  Focusing on the positive, you'll find the people around you will too. --Dave

I went shopping this weekend. Finally had to break down and do it. I have been wearing shirts in a 5x, 6x, as large as I can get them for ever. My shirts always had to be long enough to cover my butt, and not to cling. And I had gotten so big the last year that I had moved even beyond Lane Bryants 26/28. I was shopping on line so I could buy 32's. Now I am back down to a 24. I like you said Nicole, still feel like I am 350 pounds, but I thought I would give Ross's a try anyways. I found a couple shirts that were 3x's, but they seemed sooo small. And they weren't long like my shirts usually are. But I thought to myself. Just try them. I was sure I wouldn't be able to get them on of course. I was so stunned that they fit! They aren't my typical shirts as they don't go down to my knees and cover my butt, but I liked them! They are now hanging in my closet next to all my other clothes. Next to my other clothes they look like little kid clothing! So then I got curious and started really digging in my closet. I dug deep into those really really really old Limited Express shirts. The ones that are really out of style now, but I never throw anything out, LOL. But I was just curious... and Yes! They fit me. I was absolutely floored that I could get something on from a non fat girl store. It was very inspiring. I still see the shirts hanging there, and still don't believe they could fit me. It's funny before surgery I would hear people say that, that they still saw themselves as fat, and I always thought it was a figure of speach of some sort. But we really do. Unless I am looking in the mirror I still think I weight 350 pounds.  I still think I need more footage clearance to get through a space then I really do! I have to ask the same question you did, When does this go away?? Did anyone ever answer that? I also went out to dinner to a friends restaurant that I hadn't seen in 2 years. The entire time I kept adjusting my chair, and kept feeling uncomfortable thinking that I was sticking out to far, or that I looked funny sitting there. It took me a long while to relax and realize.. Hey.. this chair is comfortable, your not sticking any further out then your skinny brother next to you, and you aren't the biggest person in this restaurant. At 355 pounds I sometimes didn't fit into a booth, and I did stick out at a table in a restaurant where the chairs were close together. It took some work, and I had to keep reminding myself that I was fine, but it turned out to be a very enjoyable dinner. It was also my first fine dinning experience post surgery. All the temptations! My brother asked me at one point if I didn't like the bread. I had to remind him that yes it was wonderful, but if i had more then a bite I wouldn't be able to eat anything else. So it was a learning experience all around.

I have to ask the same question you did, When does this go away?? Did anyone ever answer that? That's a very good question, and I don't think it has been answered.  I've reached my goal weight and am now in a clothing size that is smaller than I've ever been in my adult life.  At my heaviest weight of 265 lbs, I was wearing a size 24; this weekend I bought a pair of jeans in a size 6.  It was my "retail therapy" for experiencing a 4 pound fluctuation in the scale (two days later, 2 of those 4 pounds are gone).  Even now, I see a size 24 person when I look down at myself -- it has gotten better when it comes to looking in the mirror, but I too wonder when the mental self-image will align itself more closely with the reality that other people see when they walk by. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who looks around in public places to confirm she is no longer the biggest person in the room - LOL!  I think that may be more a "gal thing" than a "guy thing" though because my husband also had WLS, is down 64 pounds to date, and is much less concerned about how he "measures up" to the people around him.

I'm pre-op.. but read on someone's journal that her Dr. told her to practice saying: "Thank you, I feel great." .. and just leave it at that. It'll reinforce your success and you won't have to explain yourself. Good luck to you all! I'm very impressed by your commitment and positive attitudes! Lacie