keep reaching for 2XL

for the last 15 years or so, I have always been a 2XL... but from a year or two before my surgery I should have probably been in 3XL or even 4XL for shirts and so on. I have been travelling alot lately and love to buy T-shirts... I still find myself reaching for the 2XL shirts, still figuring I am still 350lbs!  I can't seem to think, I will never fit in a Large or a XL.  I am still struggling with body image issues...  been plateauing again for the last few months.  I have only gotten on the scale once since my 6 month check up.  I have been strict with my food intake, doubled my water and been doing fine on exercise.  I guess my body is still in resting mode, not sure.  Slowly seeing my double of the triple chins going away... seeing my legs getting thinner, I have no butt anymore...  but still see that 350lbs!!!  It is fustrating.   People at work do not recognize me anymore, until I say "hello" then its non-stop compliments... then I get a little uncomfortable and try extremely hard to change the topic to them.  I guess I am not used to the compliments. Maybe I should go see Buddy or Dave at SBC, for a one on one.  Not sure what to do...  who else is having these issues?  How long does it take to go away? Hope everyone is well.  Work has been EXTREMLY busy and I am not able to sign on as much. ~Nicole

Nicole! Sooooo good to see you posting!  ...............Body  image is rough!  Body "dysmorphia" is common by many of us as we lose so quickly.  I remember walking through the mall and checking out the reflection in the store windows.........like, "who is that?" A couple of exercises for you: 1.  Always say thank you to compliments and then quietly embrace it.  Don't do the "but, I still have this much to lose, or blah blah blah: 2.  Say hello to a blowup pic of your BEFORE pic frequently. Puit a small current photo next to it! 3.  Go to a busy public place with a good friend and play the game, "Am I that size?".......You will find that you slowly start matching your size after picking it incorrectly for a few dozen times!  The idea of having the friend with you is so she can correct your wrong choices! 4.  Consider a class of some type at the gym.  Seeing yourself in a mirror alongside other normal bodies is enlightening.  You can see that you are the same size as those you consider to be normal/thin!!!! 5.  Look in a mirror often and tell yourself how "hot" you are now!!!!! High Fives sweetie pie!

Joyce, that is interesting that you said "don't do the but i still have this much to lose" as I do that every single time I get a compliment. I say thank you, but I still have 100 pounds to lose. LOL. I didn't realize that was poor self imaging, but that makes sense now that you pointed it out. I will have to work on that one.

Melissa, A simple "thank you" embraces the compliment without boundaries!  .... Our "fat" history is instilled within each of our brains and we're used to saying to ourselves "If, I were so many pounds lighter, then I could______________"......So, it's natural for us to qualify our success by the measure of our original "fill in the blank".... So, I'm babbling.......LOL!  ...........the bottom line is:  Let yourself accept the reality of someone's opinion of your progress.  Validate their perception by saying thank you!  :)

You are not alone thinking about how far you have to go, instead of just taking the complement, and being happy.  Self-defeating thoughts are one of the bad habits I got into when I was heavy.  Unfortunately, it keeps the best opportunites from coming your direction.  Sounds like Jodell and I need to make a trip to the mall. --Dave

I did it again today! I went into a store that I go into a lot, and worked at for a little while, and one of the girls working  kinda whispered something like "You look like.. umm.. have you been losing weight?" And then the other girl immediatly jumped in and said "yea I was going to comment on that also". So at first I did the right thing. I said "YES! I've lost 120 pounds" They of course did the typical "wow you look fantastic" thing. And then she said that I really needed to treat myself to some new clothes as mine were really getting baggy. And then..I went right into the ..."Yes but I still have 100 pounds to lose" And if that wasn't enough. I then added "Well, I had the surgery" It wasn't until I got to my car that I even realized what I had done. This is going to take some major work for me to get my head right and stop making excuses for how much I weigh. I even went so far as to not even allow myself any credit for losing the weight. As the compliments kept coming, I went right into the "well I had the surgery" as if my own efforts had nothing to do with the weight loss. MUCH MUCH work ahead for me on my thinking! However, at least thanks to reading it here in the posts I realize it and can work on it.

Jodell & I have decided one way we are going to give ourselves credit for losing weight is to buy some affordable clothing that is the right size to give ourselves credit for the weight we've lost.  So far, it's meant buying a few $15.00 pairs of pants/shorts, and some $5-$6 t shirts that are our new sizes.  Clearance racks are good for this, and we're finding we're into sizes that are cheaper to buy.  We don't go for fancy, mostly just what fits, and we do our laundry more often to limit the quantities purchased.  Buying affordable clothes is alot cheaper than our fast-food budget pre-surgery. It also gives us immediate feedback when we've lost an additional few pounds.  Since I'm a big cheap-skate, it's been hard for me to fork out the $$, but I think it's been worth it so far.  This week we both realized we'd dropped down another size. 

Nicole, I think you are doing fantastic and you look wonderful! I went through a plateau a few months ago and I was worried about it also. I think I had only lost like 8 pounds or something; however when I went in to see Randy I had gained 7 pounds in muscle, and lost 15 pounds in fat. So keep that in mind. That is likely what is happening with you. I bet you when you see Randy you will have built more muscle, and lost more fat then your scale is showing. I am so proud of you that you work so hard at it. I wish I could say I was being so good about my eating and exercising! I have to start building muscle as my skin is really starting to get loose and I know muscle tone will help it. I understand about the compliments. I get uncomfortable about them too. I'm sure there are plenty who will want to jump on me for saying this, but I have noticed many times that when I am eating really good, and not losing, that sometimes it seems if I eat something a little higher calorie it kinda kick starts my metabolism again. So maybe try treating yourself to something yummy and see if it helps. Something that you won't dump on, and in moderation obviously. I need to use up my punch card. I haven't used them yet. Have you used yours? I'm not even sure I know where mine is anymore. Clothing has been mentally hard for me as not much fits right. And when it does it only does for a few weeks. I know its a good thing, but I had a lot of clothes, and it has been hard and sad for me to get rid of all of it. I've gotten rid of probably around 200 pieces of clothing already. I have probably about 50 bra and pantie sets that are beautiful, and going to be tossed as they don't fit right anymore. And being on disability now and not working it will be forever if ever before I can afford to have that many clothes again. So that is what I am having a hard time with now, the loss of my wardrobe. Yes i realize it is about the health, but I am a girl and I like those things! Your not alone. Sometimes i look at myself and see my current weight and the next day i still see 355 pounds. I think it will take us some time to get used to our new bodies. Take Care! And remember how fantastic you are doing. I really do believe that you are going to drop weight soon, and that you are gaining muscle weight. Don't trust your scale. Trust how your clothing feels, and the disappearance of the chins!

YAY I know what you mean, I gained weight so rapidly it is hard for me to reach for small larger, and I am way larger haha. Congrats and I cannot wait to be on the loosing side,

Nicole   I hear you so loud and clear !!!  I am now getting into the 2x clothes from being in the 4&5 x's .  I llo at myself and dont see  the big changes everyone else seems to see  - think I have a trick mirror at home ??  I have been getting  better about accepting  compliments. But  the plateau thing is killing me - sucking the life out of my Spirit , I started listening to audio cd for the  book   " The Secret "  its funny but  I am  not focusing on the scale and  thinking  baout  what the book suggests - see yourself at your goal weight, portray now how you would feel ! I dont know if or when I will break my plateau -  but  I am feeling  better and just trying to keep my  confdence up mentally that it will break soon ,   I have my  1 yr appt coming up soon and so want to drop   10 lbs before I get on that scale again ..  Funny - Randy told me not to be hard on myself and  it may take years to come off  - I so wanted to Smack him at the time... Now I am just determined to drop more before I have to see him again!    Happy clothes hunting  for your smaller body  and remember any 2xl  hand me downs you wanna throw my way - just letme know and I will gladly take  em --  the shopping is killing me !