Help... how do I tell someone

who is completely non-supportive that I am having weight loss surgery? I am having dinner tonight with one of my close friends and her family who is completely against this surgery, I cannot wait until surgery date to share the news. I am excited about this and I want to be able to talk about it and not keep it a secret anymore! Anything helpful will be appreciated!

Nicole - by telling these people you are SO sure are not going to be supportive - are you maybe setting yourself up to have your self-confidence ripped to shreds? And, really - why is it any of their business? Are they going to be your primary caretakers after the surgery? I have decided to tell a select number of people about the procedure, simply because it's no one's business by my own. If someone asks - and I trust them not to tear me down - I will tell them... I have spent my life worrying about what other people think about me. And, I have done my fair share of "blurting" my business - in an attempt to impress people or make people like me. No more, thanks. It's all about me - and I think it should be all about you, too...

HI ! I didnt tell my mom for the same reasons. Im almost 3 months out and still have not told certain people. I just dont want to constantly defend my decision. They need current and up to date research on this surgery and to know its not the surgery of 25 years ago! I will tell mom someday when she is able to see that the surgery probably saved the life she gave me 48 years ago! Its your health and your personal decision who you tell and dont tell. Best wishes to you! Sally

Weekend was pretty busy so I wasn't able to post an update... Well, I told her and her husband only and it went well. My best friend told me that my cousin was a bit taken back when I first said it... but her husband said... "of course, we will support you." They asked more questions and then I found myself defending myself for a moment and then I stopped. She asked why I am not doing the banding and why won't I just do Weigh****chers. So, I explained everything... and it went okay. During the time she did keep shaking her head that she would never be able to do the surgery because of the complications of all the people she has known that has had it done (two of them!). I did say, everyone has some kind of complication, it is a major surgery. So, I was the talk of that part of the family that night after dinner... I guess my ears should have been ringing like crazy! It felt like the night was never going to happen. I got stuck over in Glendale, then Peoria and then North Phoenix in the massive monsoon that came in Saturday night... but I ended up having 2 peach marigaritas before telling them, so I was a bit calm... She called the next day because she had a nightmare of me in the hopsital... and that I was doing this surgery for my ex-boyfriend and she wanted to make sure I was doing this for the right reasons. I encouraged her to come with me to any of my doctor's appointments and support groups.

Hi Nicole, I haven't been on recently, trying to sell my house. BUT, I had a similar experience my mother who I don't speak with often, just found out I had a date, asked me how heavy I was ( I said I won't comment on that), said she was worried and asked why I can't do this by myself. Part of me regrets telling her, I sent emails out to close friends, because I'll have to explain everything to her, like what I'm eating etc... and ofcourse she'll comment and I'll have to try and be nice. The one thing I did tell her which I really have thought about is that my chances of dying from obesity are so much higher than the risk of the surgery and 15 years out studies have shown people have kept off 75% of their excess weight. I haven't done much on the eating well front, still in that last meal mode, unfortunately. Hope to see you in Oct.! Take care, Katie

I basically told my family that this was a choice I needed to make to save my life. I did not make it lightly nor on the spur of the moment. I told them I hope they will be supportive but in the event they weren't I would hope they would keep negative feedback to themselves. I explained right now I need support. This is a life changing surgery. I let them know I had done alot of research and compared the risks against what I had to gain, and life over death won out. They have not been supportive but they have been very warm. 2 of them even compliment my new looks. Hope this helps.