MY BUSINESS ONLY?

I am considering WLS and have discussed it with my husband and my two grown children. I have instructed them all not to tell another soul. I am not even going to tell my dear mother or any of my sibblings. As you can see, I am not using my real name. Am I starting out on the wrong foot? What do you think of this? :secret:

No I don't think you are starting out on the wrong foot!!! You are starting out right just by considering surgery. That is one BIG step to take. By not telling anyone, Well that is totaly up to you. you may change your mind after surgery and some of your success starts to show. Everyone is different and no way is the wrong way. I was banded Nov 19 2004 and am down 120lbs. I am no way a closet bandster because I tell EVERYONE who will listen to me. But that is just MY choice. Do whatever you have to do to become a healther you!!! Good luck to you!! Terri (Pinedale)

I told everyone, but I'm a big mouth. I tell everyone everything!! LOL But that's just me. You gotta do what you feel comfortable with. For me, almost everyone was extremely supportive. I figured if I'm dry heaving in the middle of my work place, looking like I'm about to cough up a hair ball, then they would understand what's going on. There was this one lady at my work and she was like " I went to WW and lost 60 pounds, and it was alot cheaper." So I said "Gee. I never thought of going to Weigh****chers. I've made no attempts at weight loss in the past. I thought it would just be easier to spend $16,500 on surgery." I'm pretty sure she got the hint, and she doesn't bother me anymore. However, I have no idea what my coworkers say about me behind my back. They may all think I'm crazy for doing this. I really don't care though. I didn't tell them to get their approval. I told them because I'm so excited about doing this. But, I think it's perfectly acceptable to just tell your immediate family. You can always tell more people later, like your mother. Your husband and kids are your biggest fans. They will be super supportive. So, to answer your question, you're totally starting out on the right foot!!

I hear ya ! I only told a few people close to me till I got a lot closer to surgery , My mother cried ! She was so happy. I have had a lot of great support from friends and family - so you will be surprised .. One suggestion invite your friends and family to go to support meetings - So they can learn more and support you better. I only have 1 close person who is ignorant - She does not listen well .. and still is pushing the wrong button - telling me to eat more carbs and not so much protein - its like dah I need protein not carbs due to the surgery .. And believe me after surgery you will want to tell the world how wonderful it all is !! weight loss is very empowering !!!

I have pretty much told everyone... and so far everyone has been very supportive. I was hesitant with my brother and sister in law... but once I educated them on it, they are now very supportive. Unfortunately they live across the country, so they wont be here on the surgery date. I have some family that I have not told... 3 people because I know how unsupportive they are especially when I just doing research on it... my uncle works with a few members from this board and he gave them a hard time about having the surgery... I am planning on telling them hopefully this weekend, because I really need to get it off my chest, I am very excited about this and if they cannot share this with me... the good and the bad then I need to reconsider my future interactions with them.

I don't think you are wrong at all. It is a personal decision and you should be allowed to chose who knows and who doesn't! I told my family and a few friends but never asked them not to tell others and well... They did tell others about it. I regret telling so many people. I feel like if I fail or if I don't do things the right way or if something goes wrong, I will have a lot of judgement. Good Luck to you! Tiff

Hi, I told EVERYONE, including waitresses, lol I mean everyone that would listen, when I would go to a restraunt and order I would explain that I would need a to go box and would explain that I had the surgery and would not eat the whole meal!! I have not had one bad remark made about the surgery yet!! This is your decision to make and your life to live, if you want to keep it a secret that is up to you!! Like everyone else has already said, after your surgery you will want to tell everyone!! it is a lifesaving surgery!! This is of course my opinion, as I'm sure a lot of others on this and many other boards as well. GOOD LUCK to you my dear!! You have made the first step in the right direction!! Sondra, 315/219/150 Oh yeah that's 96lbs. gone in 5 months!!!!

I totally understand. When I first began my journey, I did not want to tell anyone other than those very close to me. As I myself became more comfortable with my decision I began to tell other people. This however is totally your choice....do whatever makes you comfortable. Good luck with your surgery. Maryellen

Thank you all. In the back of my mind, I thought I might share my experience after I started a successful journey. Maybe I am using it as a "failure" factor, as was mentioned :juggle: . I can see with the support from my family and the support from all of you, I will do fine. I know it will not be easy, but the outcome will be worth the hard work. Again, thank you! :-)