I shouldn't have looked at the Memorials

I'm not feeling well at all right now after reading the Memorials page. I know that with all surgeries comes the risk of death, but to actually read some of them and to see people who are close in age, and weight to me, it's heartbreaking. Has anyone else out there been freaked out about this kind of stuff, or am I being riduculous........

You are not the only one indeed. I read it last week and it affected me also. It was sad, and also brought home the "mobidity" part of our disease. It would seem a lot of our passed on kindred spirits had additional medical problems going into wls. I do not know how many of the morbidites came from obesity itself, but I know in my case,somethings are caused by the weight. The 2 people that I know who passed away,both had heart conditions by the time they decided on the wls. I know the reasons are varied. Try and keep in mind the morbidity rate for wls is quite low, the last figures I saw were 0.02. Maybe you can use these feelings to your advantage, I am trying to. I try to remember past the size I would like to be, the fantasy of a cruise and being small enough fo all the rides in Disney Land, etc, to the fact that this is a deadly disease, I am a ticking time bomb that needs to figurtively be dis- assembled. I try to remember that with me, the disease has been progressive. I then try to face my fear and a little diddy from Overeaters Anonymous which helps me at that point, I will share it with you if I may. FEAR: F=Future E=Events A=Appearing R=Real This helps me realize that most of the time that is what I am doing, projecting a situation that does not personally exist for me, and filling my mind uo with "what ifs", which I admit I am good at. For me, for today, I promise to arm myself with facts, and walk with faith. My higher power keeps reminding me who is really in charge...smile. I hope this helps, God bless

Hey there Alli, Many can quote the stats to you and tell you all the stuff about you're doing it to SAVE your life.....blah blah blah.....Stuff your head already knows! But, the possibility is real. I recommend to all to take that reality very seriously and prepare for the "what if"!!!! ....I made sure my Will was in order prior to my surgery. I wrote personal letters to each member in my family and stuck them in my family Bible. I outlined my funeral with my wishes. I had a few meals prepared in the freezer for my family .....I bawled buckets while I was writing these things and yet I knew that my commitment to a better quality of life could not be changed as I was willing to take the risk!!! I wanted so badly to participate in an active way in my familiy's lives!!! ..... I will tell you that after completing all of these things, I found PEACE!!! I was scared the morning of surgery but I was also calm and prepared and knew that at that point it was out of my hands. I turned the burden over to a Higher Power and had faith that all would happen as it should.....one way or another! I know that I would most likely be living a shellf of a life at almsot 4 years post-op if I had NOT had that surgery. My heart, Diabetets, etc. were heading me to the morg with all that weight on me. Here I am 4 years later and a 143 pounds lighter........recovering from plastic surgery.........figuring out which personal trainer to go with for this round........and actually turning down a job yesterday at a "tight bodied tanning salon"!!!! My hubby is soooooooo proud of me. They actually asked ME if I wanted a part time job there! I"m a grandma for Heaven's sake!!!!! I suggest being a good Boy Scout. Be Prepared (for the worst AND the BEST!!!) ...then sit back and study all the things you can do as a post- op to maintain your good health through the best protein products, exercise plans, etc. .....and just for fun....how about making yourself a "Treasure Map"....this is a goal poster where you cut out stuff from magazines that represent your dreams.........you hang it in a prominant place and "voila"......within months, the things actually start happening! My 2006 poster had photos of "fantasty stuff" in January.....now I look at it and think...gheesh, I need to add some stuff....since I've already accomplished most of those things! Your fears are valid ones Alli!!!! ......Facing it ....weighing it....and moving on in spite of it takes courage!!!! You CAN do it sweetie pie! Big Hugggggz, Joyce

Alli I did the same thing - It really helped me realalize its major surgery and things do happen. It also made me a better patient, You want to be in the best possible shape for surgery .. So do what your Doc tells you !! Your doctor is not going to to do surgery on anyone they dont feel is a good canidate. and Please stay compliant with your care.. Just as many people die 30-90 days after surgery - from complications. For me Surgery was a little rough- I had some blood pressure issue's and was in ICU for 24 hours . But today 2 weeks later I feel gggreat ! I hate giving myself a shot twice a day ! But I am also down 34 lbs from Surgery !!

I haven't had the chance to read the other responses you've gotten, but since it looks to me from your profile that you are just beginning the process of exploring WLS, please keep in mind that there is not one type of WLS. The Lap-Band can be just as effective long-term, especially for people in our BMI range, and is far safer than RNY or DS. Most people who chose Lap-Band do so because (among other reasons) they want a safe surgery with very little risk of death. There is a Lap-Band forum here; check it out if you haven't already. You are the only person who can decide which surgery is best for you, but I think we all owe it to ourselves to learn that RNY is NOT the only effective surgery option. The US is the only country where RNY is the surgery of choice, rather than Lap-Band.

Thanks to everyone that replied. I was tired when I was on the boards last night, and wasn't thinking my life was worth being skinnier. My husband loves me just the way I am, and since I am basically a healthy fat person, why should I put myself through that. Well, I've had a few hours sleep since them, and am seeing things much clearer now. I'm not healthy just because I don't have any co-morbidities. It's just a matter of time before I develop hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease. The chronic pain I am experiencing is enough of a motivator. I can't imagine not making it through the surgery, and leaving behind my husband, kids and friends, but I also cannot continue the way I am right now either. I appreciate all the information and support I have received in just the short time I have been on this website, and will continue on my journey to being a "loser". Thanks again to everyone Alli

Fear Then Faith Then Do It

It is very important to understand the risks.....but the rewards are what should truly motivate.....consider the mortality rates of obesity vs. that of surgery.....Keep your chin up...understand what you are getting into...and get ready for the ride of your life. Dave 411/205/170

I did the same thing pre-surgery. The chance of dying is very real in any type of surgery. I had done my research very carefully and weighed my risks. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful little boy. I didn't want to leave them behind. However, I realized that the life I was living was not what I wanted the rest of my life. Because of my weight and other co-morbitities, my health was at serious risk as it was. It was worth it to me to have the surgery. I also have a very strong faith in God and one thing I realized was that God is in control and He will not call me home until it is His perfect timing. If it was in surgery, so be it. I could have cancelled the surgery and been in some type of other situation at the same time that woud take my life. In the last days leading up to my surgery, I had peace about it. I had spent 4 years of research, had an excellent surgeon and bariatric support team (Scottsdale Bariatric) and everyone that knew that I was having the surgery praying and cheering me on. In the end, you have to look at the bg picture. Are you happy and healthy where you are now? Is surgery worth the risks? If you do your research, I believe it eventually becomes easier to see past the risks and on to the good things. For me, every question led to a definite yes, surgery is the best way for me.

I looked at the Memorials as well and I am even more scared then I was before. I am there with you that all surgeries come with risks but there are so many reasons to go forth. We all have a set date that will will pass and only the Lord above knows that date. If that date has been chosen, it could be a car crash or stroke, or you could be 90 years old and pass in your sleep. I am very scared since I have a husband and a 3 year old to raise. I do know my life at age 29 years old and no co-morbities feels like I'm at stand still, I'm bitter. The risks of what if I don't do the surgery are something to think about when you make the right decision for yourself. The more research you do and the more information you gather from sites like this, the more prepared you will be when making your decision. I am still fearful... but hopeful and will place my life in the Lords hands. Best of luck to you and God Bless! Carrie - Phoenix, AZ.