Unsupportive friends & family

You totally rock to hon. You are so unbelievable positive. Your are AWESOME! Thanks for being you! Tiff

Hi, Jennifer, I feel for you because I have a sister who is not really happy that I am having surgery either. But that's not stopping me because I explained to her that I want to be healthier and that living the way I am now, I'm slowly dying and I'm not ready to die yet. My family is all overweight, I had grandparents and parents that were overweight. In fact, my mother passed away from complications of being obese. What I have explained to my sister is that I feel good about this process and I feel like I have been guided by a higher power to do this and it will be okay. My husband and my daughter both are supportive and I am grateful for their support. In the end, as others have said, you need to do what is best for you because you're the one who has to live in your body. Good luck and we're all rooting for you! Virginia

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! For all of your kind words & support. You are all right. I need to focus on the fact that I am doing this for me. With the help & support of the wonderful people here I am getting to know> Thanks you all again! Lots of hugs & blessings, Jennie

Jennifer, I agree with everything everyone here has said. We all have our demons, internal and external. Remember that your life is what YOU make it. No one can live your life for you, tell you how to live it or make it miserable unless you allow them. Family can hurt us more than anyone or anything and like Joyce said, you can choose your friends, your family however you are stuck with. Sometimes I think they say mean things because they think they are entittled to by relation, ya know? My mother has always been very hurtful to me. When I was a child it was: "too bad your not as prettty, tall and thin as your sister, guess you'll just have to be smart," and "we'll buy your clothes in the boys department, their cheaper there and your built like a boy (teen years)," then "I'll send you to Denver for your aunt to put you on a diet." To this day when I see her its "boy you just keep getting bigger and bigger, everytime you lose some you gain more." I have never understood why my mother is like this. She also did it to my oldest sister who had a RNY 4 yrs ago, she is still mean to her, says things like "gee, I thought you would have lost more than that by now." The point is, I think most of us here have someone close to us that tear us apart every chance they get. I think to some extent that may be part of how we got to where we are today, heavy. Stay strong and remember it's all about YOU girl! Not anyone else. And if you want we will all go with you, not much of a sacrifice! and that's not lip service! Luv -n- Hugz, Jennifer

Hi Jennifer, Like most of the responses, I can relate with unsupportive family memebers. My own mother and husband were not being supportive in the beginning. My mother had the surgery about 4 years ago and had a lot of complications in the beginning so she is afraid for me. I let her know how I felt about her comments a couple of days ago. She called me the next morning and let me know she was sorry and that she was just scared. I've personally decided not to discuss this surgery with anyone (besides my mom and husband****il right before or after the surgery. I think most people are unsupportive of the surgery because they don't understand it or they don't think its neccessary. I'm not sure if having a heart to heart with your sister will help change her views but just remember that this surgery is for you. You know what is best and only you know your struggle. Besides that is what this website is for... support and information. I hope that you are able to have your sister go with you. But if not, know that you have lots of support on here. I wish you the best!!!! Keep us updated.