Nervous now that I am scheduled

How stupid is this? I have been working toward having this surgery for close to 5 years now. It's been a single minded focus...."get approved...Get Approved...GET APPROVED!!!!" And now that I have been, I'm nervous as can be. Finally the thing I have wanted for so long is going to happen and I'm scared to death. Did any one else have this problem??? I nervous about the surgery because I have never had ANY surgery...ever!! I worry because the two testy procedural things I have had done (in getting approved) were awful! I had an EGD as well as a TEE, where they shove the camera down your throat to look around. The anesthetic they gave me didnt take at all, and I was alert and conscious of the whole thing and till remember every God-awful second of each one. They insisted I wouldnt remember, that, of course, I had to be conscious so I could swallow the thing but that I wouldnt remember a thing afterwards. Well the stuff they gave me didnt work and both experiences were awful. I even told the hospital for the 2nd one about the first experience and that maybe I either have a very strong tolerance for the loopy meds or they need to use a different kind or more or SOMEthing. They obviously didnt. I remember listening to the Dr cussing out the nurses and technicians because..."Our patient is in distress...we do this&&^%$$ thing *^&%$$ times a day...where is the &^%$#^." So yeah. It's not just in my head....I had a difficult time with both of these procedures. So now I am afraid that whatever they give me to knock me out, will only put me under 'so much', so that I am not able to speak or talk to them but still able to feel them slicing into me. After that, as though thats not enough to worry about, I worry about massive amounts of excess skin. Everyone keeps saying I am young and my skin will shring with enough excersise, but I keep watching all these shows on Discovery Health about people having surgery afterwards and it just kills me. I mean, at least right now when I look in the mirror, even though everything is big is all where its supposed to be....I fear that afterwads I will have what I see in the mirror even more than what I see now. Perhaps this is a vain fear, but I just cant help it. I worry about losing my hair (which is already very fine and thin....much thinner than it was in my youth) And pain..Im scared of the pain...the pain afterwards...the pain during, and the pain I may feel if I do something wrong. Then theres the most logical fear. I was just diagnosed with MS in March. I have to go off of my MS meds for a full month prior to and after the surgery. Thats 2 months without my meds. And stress is a big factor in MS 'flair ups', so here I'll be, during the most stressful thing I can imagine WITHOUT the meds that are designed to keep my MS in check and lessen the chance of a flair up. Oy vey, I still want this more than anything, but now that its actually happening Im terrified. Please tell me I'm not alone in this pre-op. I just need to know (hope to know) that others have experienced this type of anxiety before, even though they've wanted it so badly vic

It took me 15mos to get approved through ins. and i was scared to death the last night prior to surgery. It is completely natural. If you come on line in the middle of the night u are bound to find atleast one other person who is in the same boat. So know that ur feels are very natural. Best of luck. You will do fine.

Thank you so much. The reassurance is what I need

Victoria, I just got my approval last week. And I"M TERRIFIED NOW. I didn't think I'd be so scared. When they called to say "you have been approved". I just said Oh O.k. Not much more than that. I didn't even ask questions. When they said that they would call to let me know when we can schedule it. I said "o.k." I didn't jump for joy until I told my family. I, too, have been working for this for a while as well. And to be honest I didn't think I'd be this scared. But then again, I'm the biggest wuss when it comes to pain (i had a c-section and it wasn't a fun time in my life). And I keep having this vivid thought that is me standingup for the first time and all my innard pop out of my incision. Funky Huh! So you are not alone. I just hope I don't fall apart and get all hysterical right before they wheel me into surgery. That would be REAL problematic. I have been on the verge of tears for a couple days..... So we'll see what happens when I get my call for the date. Take Care Victoria. I'll say a little prayer for ya. Tiff

Take a deep breath! ....Your fears are valid ones! I have had 3 major surgeries and because of an awful experience with the first one; I have a very intense pow wow with the anesthesiologist prior to my surgeries...... Tell them your experiences, tell them your fears AND if they don't respond sympathetically and appropriately then don't do the surgery!!!! Reschedule and get a different set of O.R. folks! Seriously! NEVER go into a surgery with reservations (beyond the normal things).... As for loose skin.............Of course you'll have some. It's a sign that your organs can breathe and that your MS will be better and that your heart is beating and that you USED to be huge and unhealthy!!!!! Exercise does help to a degree. My arms are farely firm and I attritute that to genetics but also to lifting weights from the minute my doc gave the go ahead after surgery. .... Small clothes worn well can hide a multitude of flaws but at least they will be SMALL clothes!!!! Looks are important but Health is the big issue!!! I'm sure that all docs involved will monitor your MS but i'd suggest doing as much rsearch as possible on my own to be proactive and "guide" their efforts in keeping you healthy! Don't rely on any surgeon for great post-op care.....that would be the responsibilitiy of the hospital staff and YOU!!!! Congrats on your upcoming surgery! Talk through your fears.....attend support groups until your date arrives and start planning for the NEW YOU! Huggggz, Joyce

wow, thanks so much. It helps to know I am not alone in this. And yes, I know health is the big goal, but still being uncomfortable when I am...erm...being intimate... with my husband is problematic for me now, I just am praying its not worse later. does tha make sense?

Victoria, Hi, I, much like you, had NEVER had a surgery in my entire life before this surgery. I took well to the anestesia, lol however you spell it, the Dr. kept me in recovery an extra hour because of my sleep seizures though, I believe that you will do just fine in the surgery, they give you extremly powerful drugs to knock you out, more so than the scopes that they had done before. If you don't mind me asking, where are you having your surgery, and what Dr. are you going through? I noticed your in Flagstaff, and I had my surgery done in Flagstaff Medical Center just curious if your using the same doc as I used, if you are I can put your mind at ease a lot better!! e-mail me if you want to talk more at, [email protected] Sondra, 315/247/150 68lbs. gone forever!!!!

You had yours in Flag? Wow. Yeah I am having it done at FMC with Dr Berger. Are you in Flag? vic

It makes complete sense Victoria!!!!! Whatever we have playing overand over in our brain "is OUR reality"!!! ....and, if a DH says one little thing that leads us to believet hat somethigns wrong with our bodies then that's the only thing we focus on!!!!......In my case, it's totally in my own mind and so I'm giving myself Plastic Surgery for my birthday this year! ..... Nips and tucks can cure lots of skin issues....Just focus on the losing surgery first and then you can take that next step! LOSER"S ROCK!!! Joyce

I am waiting for approval. All the same things are gonig thru my mind as well. I am on arthritus meds, which need to stop prior to surgery, the hair loss etc. I have talked to several people @ my work that have had this and others in the Dr';s waiting room. the key is DRINK PROTEIN!!!. The health food store have clear protein drinks you can do right off the bat. As for the Surgery fears, explain it to the Dr. before they put you out. Its his job to do it right, get copies of what drugs they used before and how much, take them with you. They went to school for quite a while to learn thier job..... the left over skin.....Try being 47 and doing this, boy is my skin not near as forgiving as yours.....big worry here. Understand where you are coming from. A co-workers husband was 50+ and had it done, his skin was loose for a bit, but it slowly came around. It will be ok. if it does not forgive, excercise, if that does not work, and you still want it, drive a used car for a couple of years. make a body payment insead of a car payment for a while Your worth it.. I have arthritus, scared to go off the meds before too. Alot of days getting moving WITH meds is a $%#$@^$%^ chore. But here is theup side I tell myself. Think how GREAT they will work once you get to take them again...lol you have to have a icky point to see how great the good will be once you get there. most of all Congratulations again!!!!!!