Endless Pool/Exercise Pool question/HELP!

Sorry guys I haven't been around a lot over the past year. It's been a tough one. I do Thank GOD EVERY DAY! I finally got my disability to go through the doctor was wonderful who handled my exam. On the other hand I don't qualify for any of the programs that might have helped me get WLS my wonderful DHS office said that disability doesn't qualify me for Medicaid and even if I was still not getting any money coming in the only thing they could offer is food stamps and even then I'd have to be working 20 hours a week at least. No one understands what being housebound means except here on the board. I feel so horrible because no one understands the pain of being obese it's not something any of us want. If I were a drug addict/alcholic or anything else there is somewhere to turn for assistance even financial assistance in some cases. The other day I got a brochure in the mail for a small what they call exercise pool I know they have a major brand called Endless Pool that I saw on Extreme Makeover Home one night that would be a Godsend for me. A pool big enough for me to move around in and exercise for those of us who are super morbidly obese and even those not that far gone yet it would be a miracle to do in home. I felt my heart torn again with the guilt of wanting something so bad. I feel selfish for wanting anything. Somewhere in my lost battle with obesity I have began to realize how many things I wanted out of my life and I have lost. I never asked for anything I have always been the good daughter taking care of my family and helping to support them. From the age of 13 I worked and every dime went to pay the family bills. Now at 33 I have no life of my own and no way out. My health is going down hill and guiltily I dream of a life where I worry for once only about me. I know I'm not alone. I know that I love my family, but I also know somewhere inside of me I am screaming. Lost in a torment of always being the good girl that I have destroyed myself without even noticing it was happening when I didn't succeed at rebelling in stupid ways I have somehow turned to hating myself... Each day I feel my life slipping away knowing that my weight it my own fault and yet frozen unable to crash through and discover that one moment that I turned completely to food. When I look back now even though at 13 or 14 I was heavy for my age I had matured early and know now that If I had one wish today it would be to not cross that line from plump teenager to morbidly obese housebound... Sorry for babbling everyone I needed to ramble tonight. I do hope all of you are well and that your dreams of surgery and your results are wonderful and you are safe in your surgeries!

Why aren't you worthy? Because you let yourself get fat? I'm fat also and yes, I'm morbidly obese. Such a nasty phrase. For some reason our society has an aversion to fat but they fall over helping someone on drugs or alcohol, just like you said. But I've read that over 50% of our society are at least overweight?? Still it's hard to get anything done. I feel like the talk shows that have morbidly obese people that weigh over 500 or 600lbs don't really do us justice. They show these people as eating a dozen eggs, dozen biscuits, 2lbs of bacon and that is just for breakfast. We do overeat but not usually that much! This is shock value and it causes disgust towards us. Please go over to the Lapband forum and talk to people there to see if there are any options in paying for WLS. Lapband is cheaper and even though the weightloss rate is slower to begin with than RNY, in two years both have the same rate of weightloss. A lot less complications with the Lapband also. Good luck! http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/surgtype-forums/LapBand/posts.html