Can you share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family! Hugs, Rona

Hello Rona, This is Debbie Moya. You can go to my profile to read about alot of stuff on me. But I did have an experiance I didn't put on my profile. I had wiped it out of my mind until I read your post. It was a long time ago. I've remarried since but here it goes..... I was married to my first husband, He was very abuseive. He had beat me several times and Picked me up and body slammed me to the ground and told me I was a fat ugly ***** and NO ONE Would ever love me, He was telling me this while he was dancing around me kicking me. Well I ended up bringing charges against him and filling a protective order. Well when I went to see the Judge to get a protective order I had a dislocated hip and couldn't even hardly walk from the beating. I weighed over 300 Lbs easy. The judge looked at me and practicaully Laughed in my face. Here I was Beatin to a pulp and he made fun of me. He said something to the effect of ( You look like a big girl why couldn't you defend yourself) Well my exhusband was 6ft. 5in. and weighed about 400 his self. I felt so awful I could have just died right there. But all that is in the past. I've have remarried a wonderful man. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and how pretty I am. He has stuck with me through good and bad. He is wonderful. as of June the 8th, we have been married 8 years . I haven't never told anyone this story. I would like to help who ever I can with my story.I had WLS 9/22/03. I weighed 354 Lbs to start with. Now 9 months post-op I weigh 170. I've lost 184 Lbs. I only have 23 Lbs until my goal!!!! I also had a friend she has since had WLS and she had an exsperiance. She is very smart and she was appling for a job. She had more Qulifacations than the others. The place she applied to even told her this. But she didn't get the Job because they said she was to big they didn't have chairs big enough to acommidate her. That was so sad. I was so upset for her. She weighed about 6oo Lbs at the time. She will be 2 years post-op in August. She weigh's about 250 Lbs. I'm so proud of her. Hugs and Best wishes Debbie Moya Hope this helps someone Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/170/147

Debbie, I'm sorry to hear about your past but I am also SO PROUD of you for the accomplishments you have made in the last year. Keep up the good work. You are a great encourager and cheerleader for all of us. Keep your positive attitude...it's contagious. Denise Drye Baker 9/29/03 246/145/125

Denise, Thank you so much. I really care alot about all of you. And if my story helps one person, Than it is worth telling. Hugs Debbie Moya Denise you are doing great!!! I see you are real close to your goal. That is wonderful. Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/169/147