any one had this crazy problem

Well I took some of my clothes to my mother so she could use them since they were to big for me now, Because she asked me to. Then when I got them there she looked at some of them and said THESE ARE TO BIG. I said well yes there big, That is the size I was. Well then she said can't you still wear these? I said only with them falling off my butt or the neck of my shirts falling down passed my shoulders. Well then she said you need to stop loosing weight. I like to have feel over. She said YOu look pal and sick looking. Well that upset me, But I didn't let her know that. My husband spoke up and said she doesn't look sick, She looks Great! my mom yelled at him! Well I guess there are people who get jelouse, I went to my sisters house and told her what mom said and then I started to cry which really made me mad. My sister said Debbie that isn't true you don't look sick you have a great color. She said you have alway's been big and mom is just jelouse so don't let it bother you. And that was the last of that! I just wanted to share this with you guy's so if you EVER have someone this negative remember it is just jelousey. or may be also change. I think maybe people get so use to some one being the way they are and they have a hard time dealing with change. But you know what? they will just have to deal with it!!!! I told my mom I'm no longer her BiGGG girl. I'm her daughter and I love her but I'm never going to be that same girl on the outside again. I will never let that happen. Hugs To all and best wishes on your journey's Debbie P.S. if you want to see some of my photo's just go to http://groups.msn.com/weightlosssurgerysupportar/debdeb.msnw?albumlist=2 Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/208/147

Fortunately I don't have family like that. I am blessed. I haven't had the surgery yet, but so far everyone is supporting me 100%. I went out and looked at you pictures. Beautiful. I wish you nothing but Gods blessings. Sheila

Sheila, What don't make since is my mom was the biggest backer I had. She faught for me to get this surgery. I guess that's why It bothered me so much at the time. Thank you so much for the compliament, It just makes my head swell.LOL Hugs Debbie Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/208/147

Wow Debbie!! You look great!!! You just keep on keeping on girlfriend. This is your life and your health. I salute you in your choice!! God bless you, Dodie

Dodie, Thank you so much. And you bet I'm going to keep on keepin on. Hugs Debbie

You look awesome! I think a lot of parents locked in on the idea that their job was to make us "clean up our plates" and can't seem to turn loose of that. My loss does not show up yet, but it won't surprise me if I get the same treatment, after years of riding me about being too fat and eating too much! I guess it is impossible for Mothers to look with their eyes instead of their prejudices! Try to take the fact that she is meddling as a sign that she loves you, and come up with some conversation closer like "Thanks for sharing your opinion, but I'd prefer not to discuss it". Don't get drawn into an argument--there are no winners. I think it is at time like this in our lives, we can tell who our true friends are! And thank God for every one of them! Joy

Joy, Thank you so very much. And that's what I've started doing is trying to change conversations. and it seems to be working. And your right my mom was one of those who believed you had to eat everything on your plate. and I even see her do this with my son and neices and nephews. I usually go behind her back and through it away if there full. I figure what she don't know wont hurt her right! Well gotta go to work it is 3:56am. Don't wan't to be late Hugs Debbie

Debbie; I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience with your mom. I think that over time it will lessen. She's making adjustments too and that's hard to remember when we're being hurt. Look towards those who are supportive of you, they're the ones that you need to draw on now. I understand exactly where you're coming from. I haven't heard a word from my best friend since the surgery. I've left her a message on her phone but have heard nothing. I suspect that she doesn't know what to say to me. She's a big girl and not making any changes to help herself. I worry about her all the time. I think she'll come around though eventually and I'll have to be sesitive to her feelings as I lose weight and she continues to struggle with many issues. I'm glad to hear that you've held on strong and are able to look at the positive. Keep up the great work! Cheryl

Thank you so much for your reply. I started thinking about all that. And I really guess I didn't think about everything everyone else is going through also. I guess this type of thing affects all people your close to. I hope your friend comes around. Hugs and best wishes Debbie Dr. Baker 9/22/03 354/205/147