Down and Discouraged

I am nearing my one year post op mark and I've lost around 100 lbs since surgery.  While I'm sure that's probably considered good, it doesn't feel that way to me.  Ideally I need to lose about another 150 more lbs to get to a weight of around 140 which is considered "normal" or "average" for my height and age, which by the way is 22. 

I am having the hardest time staying on track.  I live alone a couple of hours away from any family and I'm a student in college.  I don't have any friends around me that really understand or support my situation, at least none that have expressed support to me.  I don't know how to keep myself on track.  I remember doing this for myself and to get healthy, but I feel like maybe I did this just as much for everyone around me.  I can't seem to keep myself on track just for the sake of myself.  As prepared and researched as I was before surgery, this is still by far the hardest thing I've ever done. 

I guess what I'm looking for here is encouragement and even suggestions on how to make this a little easier.  I haven't been to a support meeting in months because of school.  (Of course I would have a test the day after every meeting this semester!  Don't ask me how that happened but it really did!) 

Hope everyone else is doing better than I.

Hi Amy!  Long time no see! 

I can't say a word - I hardly have time to post much either.  (And with my kids fall schedule, I missed 2 or 3 support groups during football season.)  So I can understand that. 

I can understand you being discouraged if you haven't made it to goal yet.  But you have to realize that you have come so far already - 40% of your loss towards your goal of 140!  And 100 pounds lost in less than a year is awesome! 

I normally would just brush this off and say don't worry with success like that.  But the fact that you are talking about having trouble staying on track means that you are already concerned that you AREN'T staying on track.  (Many people on OH just brush people off with flowers and rainbows and tell them not to worry.  I am NOT one of those people.  I fully believe in solving problems BEFORE they start as opposed to dealing with them after they are already an issue.  So I commend you for coming on here NOW before you stop losing or start gaining.)

My advise would be to follow what Dr. Baker tells post-ops to do. 

PORTION SIZES:
Are you measuring your meals?  If so, are you going over 1/2 cup?  If so, you're eating too much unless it is something that chews down to nothing (like lettuce or watermelon or popcorn or protein cereal or some other watery and/or airy items that chew down to nothing - in which case you can blend some of it to see how much it actually ends up being once you chew it up to get your portion size to equal 1/2 cup). 

FLUIDS:
Are you getting in all your fluids (and them some)?  If not, you need to.  Humans, especially Americans because we are perpetually dehydrated, often mistake thirst for hunger.  So if you THINK  you are hungry and haven't gotten in sufficient fluid that day, you are probably just thirsty.  And don't believe for a second that 64 ounces is enough per day.  64 ounces is the bare MINIMUM that humans are recommended to consume in a day. 
Remember to that carbonated and/or caffienated beverages do not count towards your fluid goals.  In fact, many RD, NUTS, DRS & surgeons believe that not only do these fluids not count towards your goal, but that you should subtract them from the fluids you HAVE counted towards your goal for the day.  (Since these beverages are mostly diuretics, they cause you to expel fluids before your body is ready.  In other words, you pee out liquids you didn't need to get rid of yet.  So since your body is expelling fluids earlier than it needed to, you have to subtract those carbonated/caffeinated beverages that you drank from your countable fluid totals to make up for their diuretic effect.)  Considering that they have also been shown to increase appetite among various other negative effects, carbonated and/or caffeinated beverages are SOOOO not worth it anyway.  Don't even get me STARTED about what they do to the calcium in your body!

CALORIES & PROTEIN/FAT/CARB RATIOS:
How is your caloric intake?  Do you journal your intake to know?  If you don't journal, definately start.  It is really a small thing to do and it will help you look back to see what you were doing over a period of time if you end up gaining or losing or maintaining, etc.  It will also help you know where your protein/fat/carb ratio is at. 
Dr. Baker recommends a fat ratio of 20 - 30% of calories from fat.  It may SEEM harder to keep track of a % calories from fat than just totaling fat grams, but it is actually SOOOO much more accurate than counting fat grams by themselves.  (5 grams of fat doesn't mean ANYTHING unless you know whether or not you are eating a 50 calorie item or a 200 calorie item. So take it from a numbers girl, counting fat grams by themselves are meaningless.)  As long as your % of calories from fat is within 20 - 30% for the day, you're good. 
So that leaves 70 - 80 % of calories from carbs & protein.  At a minimum of 60 grams of protein per day, depending on your calorie intake, the % carbs end up being the remainder of your calories.  (That's good because every carb gram varies in the amount of calories it makes up depending on the TYPE of carb it is.  This is not true w/ fat & protein.  So that always has to be the left-over % calculation.)  But I digress.

FREE EXERCISE:
I know as a busy person, finding time to exercise can be hard and you may just hate it - lots of people do.  But do you engage in "free" exercise like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking a long way off in parking lots of stores so you have farther to walk, walking across campus as opposed to driving?  These little bouts of movement add free exercise to your day without actually setting aside an hour to go for a walk or to the gym or whatever. 

SUPPORT GROUP:
Even if you can't make it to group - come on here more!  Even if you don't come on this board, come on OH.  Although online support groups have not been shown to have the same effect as in-person groups, I do believe it helps.  Even giving advise to newbies helps remind you of your own journey.  Each time I give advise to a newbie out there, I am reminded about my OWN journey and what I need to keep doing to be successful.  It helps ME as much as it helps THEM.  

MENTALITY:
I may be reading a lot more into your post than you intended.  But I'm usually very good at reading people.  If I'm wrong here, I apologize.  But I get the feeling that deep down, you still don't feel like you're worth this new life.  And Amy, you SOOOO are.  I could tell from the moment I met you that you are beautiful and smart and full of so much LIFE.  You deserve this.  You deserve to be healthy and happy and as full of life as possible with NO restrictions by something like weight to hold you back.  You are BETTER than the food you have been putting into your body.  You have to remember that.  Every time you get ready to eat, you need to look at what is in front of you and ask yourself "Is that good enough for me?"  If it is processed, high-fat, crap, it is not good enough for you.  YOU are TOO GOOD for IT. 
There is a strong woman inside you SCREAMING to be let out of the bars that your obesity has helped keep her behind.  And I know that you have heard her more and more as you have lost this weight so far.  Don't stop listening to her now because you're scared. 
It would be nice to have friends and family near you to support you every day, but you don't NEED them to tell you what you need to do.  You KNOW what you need to do.  That woman inside you is telling you what you need to do.  Listen to her.  She is part of you.  She always has been.  Let her out and grab this chance you have at a new, healthier, better life.  It is YOURS for the taking.

Wen

Wendy said it all and I am just saying it is important to follow the pattern that help you lose that first 100 lbs. You mentioned you are in school where do you attend. My daughter Katie is 23 and she and I had surgery together perhaps the two of you could help each other. She attends college in Muskogee, OK. It is always nice and helpful to have someone who is on this journey and truly understands. Remember that you did not gain the weight overnight therefore you won't lose it over night, however following the rules will bring about weight loss sucess.