How to get the AR board more active?...

Hello there again Everyone!

So, I have been pondering for several days - HOW to get the AR board more active?  This is the perfect place to make local contacts and support one another - and so many of us are in such need of support, not only myself but countless others - without knowing who is out there...

So what can we do?  There has to be a way...  Get more folks involved on this board.  When I was in Los Angeles (OK I know the size of the city is so different), there was lots of daily activity ranging from recipe sharing, to product recommendations, to support needs, to all kinds of things.  I hate to think that we are any less in need or are any different here in Arkansas.

So let's have some feedback.  What do YOU think?  I know we have a monthly support group at the hospital, but is that really enough?  Do any of you feel alone or are having a harder time like I am, where you think you might benefit from getherings more than once a month?

I feel so isolated sometimes.

Speak up, gang! :) :) :)

Peace and love,

Michael

Well it's hard for the people in NWA to travel to LR for your support meetings...  I would like to see the board more active though..  =)

Hi Mike,

Gee, I don't know where to begin!  First, let me say hello from another "former" Californian. We moved here 5 years ago from San Diego where were were Natives....go figure!  I know how it is to feel isolated here, it is sooooo very different from the West Coast!

Anyway, before Facebook got going, this used to be a very active board. If you go to the Member List you'll see how long it is. A good many of those folks used to be regulars here, but over time most of them have left.

I have been a member on OH  for almost 4 years, and for the longest time I guess I was considered the cheerleader of this  group. But, like I said in a response to another posting, it's hard to be a cheerleader when you don't have a team. Some of us have become good friends, even meet once in a while for a cuppa at the Buck's.

I've found that the farther people get from their surgeries, the less they need, or think they need support. Many times people have fallen by the wayside because they have become non-compliant with their doctors rules and have gained weight and are embarassed to ask questions.  Others are rolling along merrily in their lives, adjusting to their new lifestyle and enjoying it. The rest of us? Well, I for one can say I've given up here. Sometimes I'll check in just to see how long it's been since the last thread was started or the last post was made. Usually it's at least a day or two, sometimes more. It's very, very sad if you ask me. So much experience and support that's just wasted.

Being in the over 50 (yrs old) catagory, I spend 99% of my time on that board. I do a daily "what are you eating" thread, and it seems to help people. If I thought there was an interest, I wouldn't mind copying/pasting it to the AR board to see what happens. The people there are from all over the country, even Canada, and are very tight friends. A dozen or so of us meet once a year in different places to be together and share the kinship of WLS together. Last year it was Dallas, this Fall we'll be getting together in Atlantic City. My point is that I know what a tight, supportive group this could be and has been, and maybe someday we can see it improve. I hope so.

I'll keep trying if you will. Maybe we can get it going again.

Take care, Mike!

Hey Mike and Susan. This is Nicole. Susan you will probably remember me from monthly meetings. Wasn't there this month. Sorry. I hate it when I have to miss. Look foward to it all month long.

Ok wasn't finished. That is why I probably don't post. I suck at this. I was getting to the point. I will start to try to post daily and do my part to get this party rockin!

Yes, we missed you!  But, as quickly as you're losing, you could have been there and I just didn't recognize you....lol

Hi Everyone:

Have any of you waffled back and forth about WLS. At times I am really going strong. I really want to have this surgery and begin my weight loss adventure. Then I think what if I die on the table or long term complications. I have lost the weight so many times through WW and keep gaining it back. I get scared when I begin losing the weight and starting getting compliments. I know it sounds silly. Danged if I do and Danged if I don't.

I need support and really didn't know how to ask for it. I have so many co-morbidities. I have arthritis, obstructive sleep apnea, my knees are bone on bone and my fingers have knots on them. I step on the scales and want to just cry. I know it is a matter of time before Type II diabetes sets in. I am 55 years old and want to live to see 75. My 28 year old son is 100 pounds at least overweight. For his birthday I bought us a gym membership at NLR Athletic Club. I am doing water aerobics and he is doing basketball and running.

I went to a heart doc and he said he thinks I may have arthymeia and wants to do a lot of unneccesary tests and another doc I have been too wants to put me in a hospital for a week to see why the dizzy spells...make me have a seizure. No thanks.

Oh yeah did I mention my sis is a doc and lost 75 pounds and has kept it off 20 years through WW. Yep I am her only sibling...we have one aunt...some cousins...and I have the boy and she has the girl. The rest of our family has already passed on.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks B

Hi B,

What you're experiencing is totally normal. Flipping back and forth between what to do is what you will be doing on the way to surgery....lol. No, really, most of us think we're sure, then someone will say, "you can do this, just try one more time", and you'll decide not to do it.

B, I'll be 55 on Sunday, and I had my surgery when I was 51. The only regret was that I didn't do it sooner. This is the 3rd time I've lost 100 lbs, once 54, another 60+. I had all the same co-morbidities you have and now they're all gone.

I'm very active on the Over 50 Forum here on OH. That's over 50 years old, not BMI over 50, that's another group. Check us out over there. Much more active, at least for now.

Good luck. You'll make the right decision for yourself, I'm sure.

I also had several comorbidites and weight related problems (bone-on-bone knees & obstructive sleep apnea to name a couple). 

I am very thorough with all my research when I am making a decision and only rely on the best, most independent sources available to me.  When I did my research, I learned that the risk of my death from RNY the way it is currently performed is about the same as that of a hysterectomy.  RNY has been done for about as long as hysterectomies have been done as well.  After I read all that research/history, I realized this...
If I knew I needed a hysterectomy to get over some debilitating medical problem, I'd have it.  People around me wouldn't be saying, "Aren't you scared?" or "Do you worry you're going to die?"  They'd just support me.  RNY was no different for me.  It was a surgery I needed for a medical problem.  People around me who might ask "Aren't you scared?" or "Do you worry you're going to die?" were just un-educated about the actual FACTS (not RUMORS, but FACTS) regarding WLS - as I had been before I did all my research.  

I worried about complications until I read the statistics regarding long-term complications from RNY - which are usually between 7 - 15 %.  These risk factors include high risk patients undergoing RNY, including revisions (from other surgeries such as lapband, etc), patients in excess of 400 pounds, etc.  Remember those statistics also include idiots who do not follow their surgeon's advise.  (We've all seen those idiots on the main board saying something like, "I'm 2 weeks out and just ate a big bowl of nachos @ a BBQ.  I used to would have eaten 3 big bowls and now I only ate 1 big bowl!  So I'm so proud!  But  my tummy hurts a little bit.  Do you guys think I might have hurt myself?"  Unfortunately, completely dumbasses like that count towards that 7 - 15 % complication rate.)  So I figure if you weed out the idiots, that brings the complication rate down just a little. 

So the way I figured it, I either:
a) have the surgery and have a CHANCE of complications from the surgery, or
b) don't have this surgery and have the REALITY of the complications I ALREADY HAVE from staying obese.

Since I knew that the complications of my obesity were DEFINATELY killing me (albeit slowly, but still killing me to be sure) as well as debilitating me, I chose the more POSSIBILITY of complications from a surgery that would get rid of the obesity that was debilitiating and killing me. 

It was a simple decision based on logic to me - but then again I'm a very analytical person that puts a lot of stock in factual data and NOT a lot of stock in rumor (including those lovely people who invariably tell every pre-op "My cousin knew someone who had that surgery and DIED!"). 

I know it's not that easy of a decision for everyone - but I really wi**** was.  This surgery saves people's lives.  It saved my life.  So it's hard to talk about it in an un-biased fashion. 

To me, it's the same as having a surgery to cure cancer.  Imagine how hard it would be if you had had cancer, then had a surgery to cure you, then watched someone else suffereing/dying from cancer.  It's hard not to get right in their face and scream, "You don't HAVE to suffer!  You don't HAVE to die!  There is a cure and I did it.  Three years ago I was exactly like you and I'm better now!  I'm alive and living a healthy, well, full life!"  Now granted, this is different because it does require long-term behavior modification.  I mean, if I went back to eating like a morbidly obese person again, I would BE a morbidly obese person again.  But I won't do that and most people don't do that.  The majority of us are successful for LIFE.  Even those that do regain do not regain a lot (10% is common). 

In any event, I've went on long enough.  Good luck.

Wen

I beat my head against the wall for months trying to get this board more active before finally giving up.  I only post occassionally here now.