when life gives you lemons.....

tabstattooed
on 8/24/09 4:37 am - marion, AR
grab the tequila and salt.....

I over slept.....did not start my monday as planned.......so I started it at noon.......

coffee instead of coke......going to walk my Italian greyhound around the lake.....would take the shih tzu...be he is too dumb to walk on a leash and the big junky dog ( rott, shepherd and who knows what ) is too big for me to walk......she will walk me.......

ok....NO COKE...... is my Mantra for the day...NO COKE

I need to clean out my closet......I have a ton of wonderful too small clothes....some naughty...like fish net stocking and school girl skirts and knee high boots......oooohhhh la la

No coke

My head hurts....its not caffiene I am addicted to......its some screwed up emotional bond with coke......caffiene does not keep me awake or give me a jolt of energy.....I guess because my cokes have never hurt me.....never cheated on me, never left me and never hit me.....stupid huh??? I can take caffiene pills and my headache is still there.....I can drink a pepsi  (which i despise) and it is still there....tea.....coffee.....headache......uggggggghhhhh

ok so anyhow.....if I do not make a million changes today...thats ok.....I am going slow to be more productive in this whole thing. This is worse than pre-op days.

I may not get to the gym today but if I clean my closet or walk the dog thats more than I did yesterday......I have to not rush this......baby steps.

I am sorry I am babbling.....I am actually crying as I type because I dont want anyone to go thru this, I want you all to learn from my situation. This is harder than in the beginning as well as pre op days.....My head has all these thoughts.....my body has cravings for that familiar taste.

ok.... I have to get out of this house

bye
tammy..........

susandoeshair
on 8/24/09 6:03 am - Alexander, AR
Oh Honey, I feel so badly for you!  Going for a walk is good. More than one, if need be!  I'm sure the dog won't mind. The weather is beautiful and you'll be getting out of the house.

You can so do this!  You're not rambling, you're being honest with us and yourself. I freaked out over a two lb gain because of what you have experienced. You are more of a role model than you think you are, so hang in there, we'll all help get you through this!

NOCOKENOCOKENOCOKENOCOKENOCOKENOCOKENOCOKENOCOKE

Love ya!

Susan

 

tabstattooed
on 8/24/09 6:21 am - marion, AR
its horribly hard........

alot is going on with no job, one kid left at home, one kid struggling to prove she is an adult I worry if she has food to eat, she fights her weight as well. My family (mom and sisters ) do not speak now and they decided to include my kids in this mess.

I weighed in today at 172........March of 03 I was 133. This time last year I was 150. It goes up it goes down....my body is like a roller coaster at 6 flags....just not as fun.

Its really hard to live in a house with 2 underweight people. Sebastian is 16 and weighs 120 and is in 11th grade....he eats like a horse...but gains nothing. Rene (my domesticated house husband) is 28 and might weigh 140....he too eats but gains nothing.......

Everyone says dont buy the "bad" food.....well.....the dr once told me to provide Sebastian with whatever he wants as his growth was delayed due to Ritalin......I have an eating disorder...I know this....and to not eat the stuff is not as easy as it may seem......now if I was a newbie that would be different......I could not tolerate much of anything......

the farther you get out the more things change. Going to a dr takes money....and insurance, both of which I either do not have or have very little of.....so I am doind this alone.

I am trying to encourage Cecily (my daugh) to come walk with me when she gets off work. I have not really left the house since I lost  my job......my trip to hot springs and the store and plastic surgeon for follow up is all I have done. I have been in the pool a few times but thats no fun alone.

Its 320.....no coke..........tomorrow will be a better day........

thx for the support
love you more than you can ever imagine
Tammy

MY SKINNY CLOTHES WATCH ME PUT ON MY FAT CLOTHES....THEY ARE SAD!!!!!
mamapeaches05
on 8/28/09 4:25 am - Hot Springs, AR
Well darling it's Friday the start of the weekend. It's time to drop own and get your eagle on! How are you today is what I'm trying to say?
Mama Peaches Diva on a Journey
I am somebody, I have a purpose, and I'm going somewhere
Just prazin the Lord wit my feet!

Running Man

    
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