Thursday What's New Review

How am I doing today?

Well, I am doing great.  I just had my boiled egg and carrot sticks for lunch.  My what a great boiled egg it was.  All white on the outside and a beautiful yellow center.  And just to jazz it up, I even put some salt on it for extra flavor.   And the carrot sticks --- beautiful orange color and crispy texture.   This was so much better than some dumb old fat laden cheeseburger with chili cheese fries and a milkshake that I might have eaten in my prior life.  OK, so this is a little tongue-in-cheek, but I am seriously more satisfied with today's lunch than I would  be with the old crap I used to eat.

Tammy, nothing to be ashamed of.   Life is full of imperfections (at least that's what my wife and kids say about me - not that Ive ever agreed with them), but you have lived the WLS life for a long time now and are naturally going to have times that are less compliant than other times.   Just get back on that horse and work it again, but never be ashamed of yourself.  No one on here is ashamed of you.  We are all on your team and cheering for you.

Courtney,  I am really proud of your progess and glad you are enjoying your transformation. 

Susan, thanks for hanging with the board and prodding us to keep the support flowing.  It is so beneficial to me and I know that future successes will need the support that you and others on here provide.  Thanks for all you do for all of us.

I will try to be a better team player and get back on here more often.   When I don't follow through on this, please apply the appropriate boot to my smaller than it used to be posterior.

Best regards to all.  

I'm doing ok I think... I've slipped on the exercise routine a bit, but now that my daughter is back in school and the days are all mine again (least till 3) I can get back into the swim of things.  I've cheated and sucumbed to the chocolate monster a couple times- tummy doesn't feel well afterwards, but boy did it taste good going down..lol--bad bad bad, but I can admit my mistakes. Least I'm not eating an entire candybar each time, but a few bites and leave it. Umm, I'm finally loosing again after a 7 week stall, down to 236- never thought I'd be under 300 again when this started. Now I'm shooting for being under the 200 mark! 

I absolutely LOVE the attention I'm getting from men.  While I feel they're all shallow as I wouldn't have gotten the remarks at 395 that I get today- it's still fun and encouraging to hear them!!  I've been in LTR or married for 17 years of my life... so this is new and exciting!  I can't wait to reach my goal....

I'm stuck at 144-146.  I admit, I'm not really trying anymore diet-wise, and fun-size pb cups and Ande's mints are too often present in my home.  As I said in my post to Tammy, I am SUPER DUPER EXTRA ULTRA EXTREMELY stressed out right now.  Whine ahead: Hubby's insurance sales are coming along but not as fast as the bills are piling up.  I am behind on ALL credit payments right now and you know those people like to call and say hi daily.  We are having to borrow money from our parents waaay more often than I'd like, hubby's retired mom in particular since my parents are supporting my brother through his nasty divorce and custody battle.  I am a planner -- I like to know when/how much/how often we will get paid, and it's just not possible right now.  I've got drugs, but they seem to lower my resistance to sweets and make me really tired in the morning so I have to time the dosage very carefully.  Running helps, but crap weather and morning sleepiness makes that difficult.

Anyway, this week I have taken some positive steps.  I got in touch with a lady who sells Stanley Home Products/Fuller Brush stuff, and she's getting me hooked up as a consultant.  Initial outlay is very minimal, so that's good.  I've revamped my bills spreadsheet and I'm exploring hardship programs with the CC people.  I am making plans to sell some of the stuff in our garage on Craigslist and maybe have a garage sale, too.  I'm also putting the pressure on hubby to maybe pick up a part-time gig at a friend's gaming store, assuming he's got openings.  Sam loves that stuff, so it would barely be work for him. 

So there you have it.  I plan to run 8 miles this weekend, though I'd like to push for 10.  I don't want to overtrain with the knee so I'm telling everyone here that I will ONLY run 8 miles!!!!! :-)  We're all eating better since eating out is not an option.  I spoke with Baker about my feelings of hunger at my 1-year appointment, and he cleared me to eat all the fresh fruits and veggies I want.  I've been taking advantage of that and refocusing my eating.

Good lord, I'm rambly today.  Haven't even had my pill yet!

I worked for my sister and her husband for the last 7 yrs....they fired me. Long story but it was family related and I would not let them run my life after hours as well as during business hours. Now no one in my family speaks to me now.....my mom and other sister included and my sister and he family.

I am behind on bills, stressed out, panic attacks (nothing new been having them since 1999) again, my daughter is on her own and struggles daily but works at burger king...her weight is well over 200.....I passed my obesity on to her.

My son is in 10 and 11Th grade classes this year as he did not do so well last year. He hates school and tells me daily he is moving to his dads  ASAP!!!  Yeah OK......when you graduate buddy!!!!

My addiction to coke is it is my comfort food. My Dr knew it was like smoking for me. I have tried to kick it but....it is a very serious emotional bond. I have been through alot in my life and the coke was the one thing that was aways there.

I don't open up much but I feel I can trust all of you.......I was 16 got pregnant by an older guy (23) and my step dad was so ashamed he forced my mother to put me into a maternity home and stated I will not return home with the child. I held my baby boy for a few minutes when he was 3 days and and then they took him away......he will be 23 in November... once my rights were signed over the wonderful step dad kicked my mom and I out within days of signing paper. Oh course it was too late my baby was gone. This eats at me daily.....Its a closed adoption. I know nothing.

OK fast forward through one bad marriage( my 1st husband beat me often and tried to wreck the car to cause me to miscarry my daughter)    to another marriage( my 2ND husband cheated on me and had 2 women pregnant at the same time at the peak of my obesity) and my RNY, 26 days after my RNY we had some serious legal issues regarding my military husband and I was devastated and attempted suicide. I spent 3 days in a state hospital in a Boston suburb. I took tons of serious pills, having just had 2 surgeries the month prior I had good pills and plenty of pain meds for back issues.....for some reason the Lord had other plans......the meds did not absorb like they should have and did the opposite...instead of knocking me out and killing me.....they made me hyper, strong, invincible and totally nuts......the medics had to break a wall down and then chase me and hog tie me to get me in the ambulance....I even got out of the handcuffs in the ambulance and they had to lay across me to hold me down. That was 26 days after RNY....  then came Sept 11........... I was 4 hours from NYC...... our military was was on lock down and that was harsh on my panic attacks....

Now I have this stress, NO JOB, Family disowned me, NO MONEY, no desire to workout or obtain my certification for personal trainer, my back pain has returned, my panic attacks are full blown

I have no insurance now and don't know what I will do about my synthroid and anxiety meds . I don't have a Dr to go to now.

Now to top things off....SORRY STEVE.......I think I am going through menopause at 39. I have been showing signs for a couple years.....horrible night sweats and now my monthly friend....well lets just say she is not so monthly.....That's a good thing tho......  I am sick of her being my BEST FRIEND.........she never makes me happy and makes my clothes not fit, what kind of friend does that???


OK so I babbled about nothing that interests anyone, but I figured I should finally fess up to my source of stress.

I have to get back on track......this is going to be harsh but it has to be done. I am planning on Monday.....before anyone says oh she is putting it off no I am not, I have read that people are more likely to achieve success with things like diet and exercise if they start on Monday, and I always start things on Mondays as it is like a job.....first day of the week......

OK well......I am sorry for talking so much.......I will close here...

thanks for reading.....maybe getting this stuff off my chest will help......

Tammy

I am glad you talked, Tammy.  Sometimes it helps to just purge all the ick from inside of us.

You have been through a LOT... wow.  I admire you for holding things together at this point; if your big addiction is to Coke and not something else, you're doing pretty good in my book.

I'll be rooting you on as you get back on track.  We shall overcome, right?

P.S. I went through a tamer version of the loony bin stay (1 week inpatient, 2 outpatient) and I also was a teenage mom though I was not forced to give her up... I can't imagine how painful it is that you weren't allowed the choice.  :***(  Fortunately, the only abuse I was subjected to by my baby daddy was emotional, but that still leaves some deep scars.  I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, too.  Gosh... what a lot of pain for one person. :-(