One Year Follow-Up....My Thoughts!

I went for my 1 year follow-up yesterday. I guess I can quit being so hard on myself since they weren't concerned with my loss. I found out that my ideal weight is 125. It was saddening and entertaining all at once. I think I weighed 125 in like 5th grade, granted I was tall for my age growing up, but I was still a little overweight at the time.

I can't imagine being 5'6" and weighing 125. Oh well, they want me to be between 160 and 170. So 20 pounds to lose. I don't think 150 (my goal) is too low at all, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible for my body to get there and stay there.

I told the nurse yesterday that I really didn't know how I should feel. I am getting to the point that I am comfortable with myself at this weight and my clothes sizing isn't too shabby (8-12 range). I have always being athletic and I can do things now that I wasn't able to do in my late teens/early 20s due to my weight. Stairs don't bother me. Booths don't scare me. Although I'm sure my shot is a little rusty, I imagine I could play a game of basketball and feel pretty damn good after wards.

Then I start feeling guilty for being okay with it. Am I accepting defeat? I don't want the "Well I'll never get there so I might as well just give up" attitude. I'm just not sure about it all. Although I still get the feeling that I am fat, it's rare that I feel like a "big fatty" as I so lovingly call my former body since it's apparently okay to beat up ourselves....lol. I guess my point is that I AM okay with my body and the way I feel about my body, just not the number on the scale (if that makes any sense at all!) So much is placed on what that stupid scale says. I've tried very hard not to harp over the scale, but in all honesty, I'm barely even in the overweight category. I don't like that. Sure, normal would be nice, but walking the overweight/obese line is cutting it too close for all things medically related.

I know there are some of you have slid into goal and passed with no problems. My body LOVES the 180s. I mean it is just in love here. I've been here forever and while I'm sure it will eventually pass, is 180 so bad? Any normal doctor would tell me to lose a few. I guess the difference is I'm debating 30 pounds here, not 150. I can remember being 300 pounds and thinking that I would be happy if I could just shop in a normal store, not have co-morbidities, etc. All these things are a reality for me so what's the problem?

In my body's defense, I would like to add that I am pretty sure I have a large frame and am muscular. I'm no body builder, but even at my largest was once described as being "built like a brick **** house." I never knew if that was a compliment, but I figured I would kick the guy's ass if it wasn't (I kid about kicking his ass. The guy told my sister that after I helped move the entire contents of a large office over a weekend for my sister's boss when they were relocating) Those are just excuses to me though. Who cares if I have large bones and am slightly muscular? Drop the pounds missy!!!

So if you have made it this far, I apologize for the length. Give me your thoughts and feel free to discuss some of the demons in your head. If my self talk has offended anyone then tell me about it and I will apolgize to myself for being so rude. Have a great day and happy losing!

I think that you have done an awesome job. 

I think that I feel the same way that you do, I have been at the same weight for about a year and I wonder if it is 'good enough' even tho I need to lose another 15 or so pounds to have a normal BMI, I am 5'8 and my body loves the 170's a little too much, but on a better note I know that it is fairly easy to maintain my weight where I am at now so it all might not be so bad, much better than a hundred pounds ago.

That's my fear. Even if I work my rear off and get to 150, I fear that my body just likes where I am now and I would either a) regain and be unhappy about that or b) be very unhappy with what it takes to stay at 150. I guess we'll just have to see where this journey leads me. I pray that I'm not done yet, but even if I am, it's not so bad. I just never want to see 200 again and we are going to try for children in the not so distant future. I'd like to lose a little more so I have a little  bit of room when it comes time to get pregnant.

You have also done awesome. I know I told you this in your post the other day, but you look great.

125?!?!  Are you kidding me?  I think you look great now!  I think that if you are happy with your weight, I wouldnt worry about the number on the scale.  I know its hard.  At first,  my goal was 160, but I think I might look kinda sickly if I got that skinny.  The Doc's goal for me is 186, so if I get under 200, ill be happy.  I guess I will just see how I look and feel when I get to 200.  Maybe I will stop there who knows.  But, you look great!  And just keep doing what your doing, you will be just fine.   And once again, congrats on your awesome success!!!  You are an inspiration to me personally, and to us all!!!   Amanda 

I know, right?! She said if I had never been overweight then 125 would be considered normal for me. I know that I should go with what makes me happy, but so much is placed on the number on the scale and not just by me and my brain. PCPs, society, etc. There's a lot of pressuer to get that number down. I really do want to get down at least another 20 pounds, but I don't want it to be a struggle, not that anyone does. What I am saying is that I don't want to go to extremes to get there. Normal diet and exercise is fine, but I am not going to go to the gym 5 days a week and work out an hour a day. That's just not something I want to do for the rest of my life and I don't want to regain because I went somewhere that I didn't plan to stay forever. Thank you for responding, I just thought that my inner demons may help when someone else is feeling it along the way. I'm not excusing my weightloss or lack thereof, but this is a struggle within for me.

125 @ 5'6????

I honestly think that must be a typo or they made a mistake.

I am 5'5 and I am right around 125 now.  That is a JUNIORS' SIZE 3 - 5.  Most women's sizes are too big for me.  I have to shop in the teenager clothing section. 

In fact, my NUT told me it wouldn't hurt me to GAIN back up to 130.  So I can't imagine anyone telling someone who is an inch taller to get anywhere near 125! 

Maybe you are really small framed?  I am medium framed.

I think that's the lower end of my "normal" range for someone who is 5'6". I haven't checked the charts yet. I go by the upper end of the "normal" range...lol. It's disheartening because I'm thinking the goal to be normal is 154. That's 30 pounds heavier! This throws my % of excess weightloss out the window completely! I'm a numbers kind of gal so what I see something like 65% EWL vs the 76% I calculated...that's a little disheartening.

Oh, I'm pretty sure I am medium-large framed. I'm not sure how you figure that out, but I have never been petite. I have a sister who is small framed and she and I were often the exact same size growing up until I outgrew her. She is 3 years older than me. There is just such a difference in us. I have pretty wide shoulders and my hands are not small at all. I  can finally get my hand around my wrist, but it's finger to finger exactly (without straining).

You are so little! You look great, though. Then again, I've only seen your pictures on your page. I can't imagine having to shop in the junior's section. Having the option is nice, being forced to poses challenges for a professional woman such as yourself.

 

Is that how you calculated your % of EWL, according to the lowest end of a normal BMI?  If so, I certainly wouldn't feel bad for not reaching that.

The lower end of a "normal" BMI for me is 111 pounds.  Can you even imagine a grown woman weighing 111 pounds?  I cannot.  I got down to 121 and and was able to fit into a little girl's size 14 (albeit from Dillards where sizes run large - but still).  I would have no business getting NEAR 111 pounds - even though that is the lowest pound weight for me to be considered within a "normal" BMI.

So please don't base your feeling of success/failure (or even your % of EWL) on the lower end of normal. 

Use a weight in the MIDDLE of a normal BMI (or if you are large framed, use a weight on the higher end of normal) to base your % of EWL on.

I think you are doing fabulous.

I hate you!!!!!

Just kidding!

Spank it, 125!!!!!!!! you suck, lol

I won't be that in my grave, and if S is reading this or Amanda, I am 165, and 5-6 and HATE my body, no matter how much you lose, the skin just sucks!!!!!!!!

Love  ya'll

AmyBeth

AmyBeth,
I've been looking for you.
Some of us from Fort Smith are going to meet for a visit at Panera Bread on Saturday, April 18th at 10:30.
Can you come?
It's posted on the Arkansas Forum.
cbo
Carol B