Fallen, but FIGHTING to get back up

Hello Everyone! My name is Ganell.  I had surgery June 1, 2005.  Things were great for the first year.  Then, I fell off of the face of the earth and into the universe known as "What can go wrong, will go wrong."  And, trust me, it ALL - family, friends, finances, health - went horribly, disastrously awry.  There was no one to blame.  I mean, no one did  anything.  Life just happened.  It lead to me not being able to take care of me anymore.  My day to day life was about handling whatever was thrown at me from whatever direction and making it to the end of the day.  I didn't have time left for anything as simple and self-indulgent as a haircut.  I lived like this for 2 years. January 2008 rolled around and brought more of the same with it.  I was working 13 hours a day, spending the nights in a hospital at an aunt's bedside, and paying my and 2 other people's rent.  The day my aunt finally came home from having heart transplant surgery, I realized I had nothing left.  I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially drained.  I could not make myself go to her house for the family get together.  Instead, I stayed in bed for 3 days and rested.   Now that I was finally fully rested, the fog cleared.  I decided that I needed to get back to me.  I needed to get back to my dreams and goals.  So, I've weaned everyone off of me, and here I am.   The first major goal I've always had (and a major deciding factor for having surgery) was that I want to be a doctor.  I found http://www.oldpremeds.org and did what I had to do.  I'm now enrolled for the fall semester at UCA as a nontraditional freshman.  I will be 33 when I apply to medical school.  Yeah, I'm doing this!  My second goal was to get to 140 pounds -  from my highest weight of 343.  I currently weigh 189.  I'm stuck.  I don't know where to go from here.  I don't know how to attack these last 50 pounds.  Some days, I don't even know if I have the strength to tackle them.  Since my entire time in Little Rock has been consumed with handling family issues and drama, I haven't had time to form outside friendships.  So, there's no one I can go to for advice and encouragement.  Has anyone else had to do this alone?  How? I'm sorry if this post sounds like one big pity fest.  I promise, I'm generally an upbeat person.  And, I do feel fantastic - even at 189 pounds.  I mean, the skin on my arms hangs to my hips, the skin around my waist hangs to knees, and the skin formally known as boobs hangs to my ankles - but, when I am fully clothed, I bring the sexy back!

Hi Ganell and welcome I don't think your story sounds like a pity fest at all, on  the contrary!  You've had a very rough time and you're taking back your life and have set some very meaningful goals.  Congratulations! We're transplants to LR from So California, and other than the people I work with, I don't have any friends other than the ones here. They have been my life line through so much, and even though few of us have met face to face, we all seem to be here for each other with a shoulder to lean on, encouragement or a swift kick when needed. Do you have a plan to work towards getting that 50 lbs off?  How does your daily eating fit into the WLS guidelines?  A good start is to track your eating on something like Fitday.com, it will get you started by finding out how many calories/carbs/protein/fats you're getting. Once you determine that, you can make the adjustments needed to get your weight loss started again. Let us know if there is anything more we can do.  Glad you're here!

Well I think you are proof that even under stress at 3 years out 189 is great compared to where you started and at least gives me hope that maybe I can stay close to where I am at now and never go back to 322, I have really been down the past 2 days and just wanted to thank you for your post.

AB

Hi Ganell nice to met you.

Hi, it seems to me that you know what you got to do and your finally doing it!  That is a big step!  There are many who know what needs to be done and yet sit and do nothing, you are doing something, you should be proud!  Going to med school is awesome, it is good to see that you are going after what you have always wanted to do, and even at 33!!  I am in awe!  I am 30 and want to do more with my life, and waited around saying I would do it after I have weightloss surgery but here I am almost 10 months since surgery and have not even applied to go back to school.  I will one day though, I hope. I hope to see you post around here more!