Another Great Support Group Meeting
I am on Lexapro for GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). That sounds really dire, but just pretty much means I stay on the verge of a nervous breakdown all the time due to severe constant anxiety. I've been on Lexapro for probably over a year now for it and it works well. I don't know how it does for depression because I haven't been depressed in years. I take it for the GAD (which I know it works well for because it has helped me to NOT be so anxious). If you are still depressed, even on meds, you should go back to your DR and demand more help - whether it be in the form of a therapy/counseling referral or more meds. Were you better on the wellbutrin and lexapro combo? Have you tried therapy/counseling? Even DRs sometimes don't take depression as seriously as they should. They also tend to either under or over treat certain conditions and depression is one of them. To be honest, what I worry about with you is that you actually seem to have a depressive personality. I think your weight may be partly a PRODUCT of your depression, not the CAUSE. You were probably depressed before you were this heavy. Being heavy just gives you another "excuse" to allow yourself to stay depressed. Does that ring true to you? (Or sound like total BS?)
Sorry I don't have a lot of time right now - I'm just on my lunch break! I understand all about childhood tramas and them contributing to obesity and depression. As a teenager, honestly, I had such a warped view of self that it is scary. I also toyed with the idea of suicide. Honestly, the only thing that kept my from it was that I was too scared to do it. The fear of doing it outweighed the fear of living another day feeling that terrible. So when I say I was horribly depressed as a teenager (especially around ages 13 - 16 or 17), I mean HORRIBLY DEPRESSED. Part of the reason I was so depressed as a teenager was because of sexual abuse I suffered as a child. I suffered sexual abuse inflicted from a family friend up until I was 14 years old. (I don't remember when it started. I just know it was already happening back to when my earliest memories start at 4 or 5.) Let's just say he did everything but rape me and leave it at that. I was referred to a child psychologist when I was 14 and he said I was fine. (I was NOT fine. He was an idiot.) So I don't have a lot of faith in psychology. I do however, have faith in counseling. I think counselors tend to actually TALK more to their patients as opposed to psychologist who listen more. Don't get me wrong - listening is great. But if someone actually CONVERSES with you instead of just listening to you, you get the benefit of their ideas/perspective which may help you change your own. (I have family members who are in this profession, so I may be a bit biased. But I still believe counselors are better than psychologists.) I also believe in self-help. After the child psychologist saw me and said I was fine, my parents never pursued any other help for me. (After all, I was "fine".) Today I am as "recovered" as anyone can be from childhood sexual abuse. I recovered on my own. I recovered through self-help. I read books. That sounds crazy. But it worked. I'm not talking self-help books either although it probably sounds like I have been. I read books about sexual predators and child molestors. When something bothers me, I research it until I understand it completely. When I was in college, I read up on sexual predators / child molesters. In doing that research, I realized that I was not to blame for anything that happened to me. All I was guilty of is being a bashful, quiet, easily embarassed child who had been taught to respect her elders. You see, child molesters LOOK for that type of child. They aren't as likely to "tell". I also realized that I was not to blame for not saying something sooner. (I did "tell" when I was 14.) I just had that sort of personality. He was an elder to be respected and "minded". Looking back, I remember calling him a jerk once right after he touched me - then being instantly terrifed that I had called one of my elders a jerk. I was so worried he would tell on me. That seems so crazy that I would worry about that. But I was a child and children aren't able to discern the difference between big booboos and little booboos. In my child's mind, calling him a jerk was just as bad as what he did to me. So after reading over all that, I realized as a child I had no hopes of beating a grown man at his sick game. I was targeted because of who I was. I didn't "do" anything to "invite" it. Sexual abuse/use is NOT what I was "made for" (as I had come to the conclusion, albeit subconciously, throughout my early teen years). Part of the reason I had the personality I did is my mother. I was taught to respect my elders. I was also taught to be modest. I do believe that some personality traits can be genetic too. My mother was an extremely bashful, quiet child. She was also a somewhat bashful, quiet adult. I have a daughter. I did NOT want to pass that behavior on to her. I did NOT want her to be a target. The same goes for my son. So I did one of the hardest things I have EVER done. I worked to change my personality. Gone now is the bashful, quiet, easily embarassed child *****spects her elders. In her place is a woman who is anything but bashful and quiet. It is almost impossible to embarass me. No matter how old someone is, they have to earn my respect to have it. That is the personality I was to show my children. That is the personality I would rather them inherit from me and I hope that they do. So please consider self-help and counseling as much as you consider meeting with a psychologist. If your DR is the only one prescribing you meds, you may want to ask for a referrel to a psychiatrist too. They are DRs (whereas psychologist are not) who specialize in emotional/mental disorders. That is who I saw who diagnosed my GAD and she is the one who got me on the Lexapro. They just test and diagnose you (and medicate you if necessary). You don't have to keep going to them or anything. It is not a situation where you will talk to them for an hour every week or so about your problems like you would a psychologist. In fact, I don't go to my psychiatrist anymore now that I have been diagnosed and that diagnosis has been confirmed (and now that I am on a medicine that works to keep me from having a nervous breakdown). My regular DR is the one that prescribe it to me now. So I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist (so an MD that specializes in this form of stuff can diagnose you) and a counselor (so you can also get therapy for this stuff) and read read read on your own to help yourself. This all combined may help you more than your regular DR and a psychologist I'm thinking. I gotta go!
Stargazer Lily · 2 replies · 4327 views
