For those who saw me at the support group

Hey gang, I need your opinions please. The other night DH and I were talking about my weight. Lately it seems all we talk about is either my weight or my dang ankle,  what a life, huh? Well, I guess my body has settled here at 140 lbs and is nice and comfy where it is  because it's not budging. I thought for sure after I got back to work  and I started moving some more I'd lose a little more.  It's not that I'm all that unhappy where I am, after all, a size 8 is a whooooooooole lot better than a 24, but  I still have some weight around  my middle that I think would still go if I lost another 8-10 lbs. So, getting to the point, DH, whom I love dearly and has been a HUGE support told me I was starting to look "frail". Now, when I hear the word "frail" I think of my grandmother on her death bed, and certainly never thought it would be used to describe ME!!  I've been taking into account that I've been pretty sick the last three months and that takes a toll, and because of that I have no muscle tone whatsoever and I think that has a lot to do with the appearance of my thighs, arms and butt (no meat there). When I can start lifting weights and toning up, I'm hoping to not look so frail (there's that damn word again). OK, here it is.....I value your opinions, and since you  guys are  in the middle of this and understand the need to get to a point  that may only be in our own minds,  how do you think I looked last Thursday???  Don't sugar coat anything, I want honest opinions, please. We all see something different in the mirrors than what the people around us see, so I NEED to know what  you, my friends think. Thanks everyone

Susan, Hello, my wonderful friend.  I have to be honest and tell you that Mike and I discussed you on our way home, and talked about how great you look.  True enough, you have a lil skin around the middle, but after losing this great amount of weight, we are gonna have some skin till we get toned back up. But, do you look frail?? NOT AT ALL to Mike and I.  I read this post to him, and he said "you can tell her she looked very healthy and happy"  Im sure that DH just sees you after being sick so long, and he is concerned about your health all over.  I think you look wonderful!!!!  And I love the clothes you gave me, they all fit wonderfully!!!!

We love you and think you look awesome, and thats my humble but most honest opinion. Love ya, Rhonda

Thank you Rhonda and Mr Mike!  I really think that I don't look as healthy as I did say, four months ago before this happened, but being as sick as I was I think I'm doing pretty darn good. I appreciate your honesty, you guys mean a lot to me! Love ya back

I have to agree with Rhonda and Mike. If I saw you in the store, didn't know you at all I would not have thought "Man, she looks sick". You know how you see people and there's just something that makes you think they don't look well. Anyway, you look healthy to me. Some of it maybe that I never saw you before surgery, your husband did. So he's got a comparison in his head that I don't have. I wouldn't think that the f-word would apply to your appearance at all. There's my two cents worth. AT

The f-word....that's great!!  Made me smile, it did. I think what Gary sees is my spindly legs/thighs. They are skinny, but I've been either in bed or sitting for nearly three months, I think it would be expected.  Maybe what I have in my head is that magic  100 lb thing...only three pounds away. So now I'm worried about what he's going to say when I tell him I've finally hit that mark. I want him to be proud of me, not think I'm sickly. It's hard to celebrate my success if I'm getting these vibes from him.  Guess we'd better sit down and have a "chat", huh? Love ya

That's probably for the best. It may just be that he thinks you're too hot now! I know my husband has been struggling with that recurring thought - and I've only lost 36 lbs. I'm not sure how he's going to respond when I'm almost to goal. But you're not going to know what's going on in his head until you ask. Good luck!

Hey Angie, Well, we had our little chat and sure enough, he's more concerned about my loss of muscle tone than my actual weight loss. He's afraid that  since I have so little fat left I'm burning muscle instead.  I told him as soon as my brace gets here I'm heading back to the gym, spending the $150 for a trainer, and start working on getting some of these muscles moving again. I told him there were three things I wanted to achieve from this surgery: lose #100, get off my meds and get rid of my CPAP.  My sleep doc scheduled me for a re-study next month, but as of now I'm no longer required to use the dang machine, all my meds are gone, and now all I have left is 3 lousy pounds to lose.  I think he understands the psychological need I have to get to 135.....finally, he understands. So, our agreement is this: I lose my 3 lbs, and then start maintaining and go to the gym. Still haven't figured out how to do the maintaining thing, got a call into Jobeth, but for now I'm feeling better about the whole thing. So, how's the protein and fluids going for you? Getting it all in?  Hope so! Hugs

That's awesome. It's great to have a relationship where you can talk things out.

That is really great about the meds and sleep issues. I can understand his concern about losing muscle. Of course when you are making sure to get your protein in, hopefully that will stem some of that from happening.

I've been doing so-so on my liquids and protein. I had gotten into a pretty good routine at work but I've been off the last couple of days and it's thrown me all off. I have started eating meat so I've gotten a little more protein that way. Hope you have a great day. I'm getting my middle child back from my sister today - he's been visiting so far this summer and I miss him! I'll be passing through Rhonda's neck of the woods heading to my Mom's to pick him up. It will be great to have all my boys home again! AT