Miss Marys Household Hints

I am going to try to do better posting.  I plan on starting a new post. Its going to be household hints. As most of ya'll know, or suspect I am not much of a housekeeper. Oh, after every divorce I do keep the house but thats about it. They won't even sell me GoodHousekeeping Magizine. They are afraid it might be seen in my home. And I don't blame them. I'm such a lousy housekeeper even the white pages  in my phone book are yellow. I know people who are so clean you can eat off thier floors.......you can't even eat off my table. 
 The only domestic thing about me was I was born in the United States.
My sister, God Bles her, polishs her furniture so much you can see your face in it. Now I ask you why would I want to see my face. Now today I'm going to talk about  buying a new house. When buying a new hoiuse, you can forget about mortgages, location and foundations. Ther are only three thing  worthwile remembering.
1. Buy the biggest house you can find so that when your children are grown and your husband  or some other idiot says, "Why don't you get a job and help out with college expenses?" you can say, "With this house?" Don't bring up the fact that 29 of the 32 rooms are permanently closed off.

2. Buy the house far enough away from school that your kids can't come home for lunch.

3. Always buy a house with a fireplace, even if you live in the middle of the desert. Dirt can always be blamed on a faulty flue

Not that concludes my hints for today. Now remember I can't make you a better housekeeper. but I can help you lose your guilt about it. Take care. Love, Miss Mary

Miss Mary,

You are truly a woman after my own heart. I have always said that if I didn't have dogs you could eat off my floors because there would be crumbs on the floor.
 

Thanks for posting this. It made me chuckle.

My dog does all the floor cleaning.  And if shown, he can even get into the crevices of the couch and chairs.  No vacuum for me!

  Good post!!! 

We love you Miss Mary!!