OT: I need some new insight... Long!
I know I have been "missing in action", but I have had a lot going on lately. As I write this, I’m just in tears because I don’t know what to do. Here is my situation and if you have a comment and/or suggestions please share. I need some insight on what my next step should be…
My ex and I were married in 02/2007. We dated for 4 years before that. All the time while dating, he was in between jobs because he couldn’t keep a job due to his compulsive lying, etc. I didn’t know all this at the time, or I would have left. Anyway, we were finally divorced 03/2009 after me filing in August 2008. My son was born before we were married and he has my maiden name (which I went back to after the divorce). My daughter was born in October 2008 and of course has my married name because we were still married at the time of her birth. My ex has not seen them since January 2009. So, it has been 17 months since the kids have seen him. I opened a case with DHS in April 2009 to get child support from him. At the time, DHS could not find him and where he worked, etc. Finally DHS summoned him to court in March 2010 to get back child support from him. This is about $9,500, as of now. The ex did show up and told the Judge that he wanted to terminate his rights. The Judge gave him a continuance until August 2010, so he can get the papers drawn up and filed, etc. An attorney has been contacted by us both, but he has not done anything because he has not received the $300 deposit from the ex to get the papers started. Altogether it’s going to costs about $800 to terminate and change my daughter’s last name.
A few weeks ago, I found out my ex’s new employer (his first wife called and told me) and then I called DHS to give them all the information so they could send the appropriate paperwork and send in the withholding order to garnish his check for child support. As of this morning, the ex still hasn’t sent in the money to the attorney. And as of yesterday, DHS has not heard anything back from the new employer to confirm that the ex works there. I know he works there because I have called and asked for him.
So here is my dilemma. I gave the ex a deadline of today to have the money in the attorney’s office so the papers can get done or I was going to take further action. By this, I mean, I was going to the Attorney General’s office of Child Desertion to see if they will prosecute the ex for child support.
Here is my question…
1. Do I go ahead and pay the attorney for getting the termination done and change my daughter’s last name? (Being a single mother of 2 kids with no help, that kind of money won’t come easy.) And plus, I don’t think I should be responsible for paying it.
2. Do I let the August court date come with no termination papers filed and hope the Judge will make him pay the back child support and/or throw him in jail? In the meantime, the child support will keep adding up.
3. Or do I find an attorney (granted I don’t have a large retainer fees, etc to pay) to take him to court on the many things he’s in contempt on and get everything that is owed to me and the kids? This will include the $14,000 marital debts, school tuition, child support, medical insurance that I pay for through my employer, etc.
I just need some new insight. If you have read this far, I really appreciate and thank you! I know it's long... Karine
