LIE DETECTOR!
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His
wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John
came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John
claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned
home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late.
'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,' said
Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really
were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.
'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We
really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my
parents.'
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked
him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever
ask for that one!
You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'
With that the robot immediately walked around
to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
FBI Job
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks,
interviews and testing were done, there were
3 finalists; two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the
men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
'We must know that you will
follow your instructions no matter
what the cir****tances. Inside the room you
will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious.
I could never shoot my wife.' The agent
said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job.
Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came
out with tears in his eyes,
'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said,
'You don't have what it takes.
Take your wife home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given
the same instructions, to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another.
They heard screaming, crashing, banging
on the walls. After a few minutes,
all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.
'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'
MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.
Most Active
Recent Topics
