It all started with Volfan's "I Saw God Today" thread... and then it continued on with Ladybug's "Get the tissue ready" thread...  I'm just so emotional these days. Happy one day, crying the next, and then angry the next. Sometimes I wonder which day it is and what will happen today.

So much going on that so many people do not know about. I come here and lurk as an outlet and reassurance from all of you that there is a God.... looking for a glimer of hope somewhere down the road. Looking for that little peace and warmth that I need to just get me through the day.

I may not take a walk but every morning I see God. My two beautiful children. Two healthy beautiful children that God gave me. I couldn't ask for anything more. I love them with every ounce that I am and I know they love me in their own little ways. They are my life. I am all they have now that their father has voluntarily given up his rights to them all because of him not wanting to pay child support. No one knows but me that I cry on a daily basis because of them having to grow up without a responsible loving father in their life. I cry because of my stupidity and not seeing the "red flags" while we were dating and eventually settling and marrying him. I kick myself in the butt for that and hate myself. I love my children and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Whatever happened to finding love that last a lifetime. What happened to finding that one special person to enjoy life with and share a steak with. Where is that special someone to bring me yellow roses just for no reason at all.  Where is MY special someone?!

Something needs to give. Life is so hard right now with the divorce and now terminating parental rights. And I wonder what or how I'll go about telling my children about their father. That is just something that I think about on a daily basis and hope it's not a question that Sean asks me anytime soon. It is something I'm not ready to answer just yet and especially not in a positive manner.

God, I'm not one to pray, but I need your guidance through all of this....
Karine

He will give you guidance Karine. It may be through the words of a friend. It may be from something one of your children does or it may be just a guiet inner voice that brings calm and peace. God moves in all different kinds of ways and I can tell that you are searching for Him now. He knew you would come to this place and He will not turn His back on you. Just be open and receptive to anything. I'm sometimes surprised at how and what God uses to speak to me or my soul.

To answer one of your questions, yes, I believe there is someone special out there that will love you and your girls. He did it for me and I'm sure not anyone special. Just one of His children that did not want to stay alone or lonely. He loves you just as much.

You're in my prayers!
DebbieDoo

Oh Karine, I am so sorry I made you sad today.  I didn't mean to make anyone sad.  I just thought it was a beautiful story.  I am sorry you are having to go through this difficult time.  I have no words of wisdom except that you are right on track to thank God for the beautiful children He gave you in the midst of a storm.  You need some support.  I am a firm believer in a church family.  My suggestion would be for you to find a good church and become a part.  They would have classes for you and your children and most of the time they have special programs for boys and girls.  In my church it is Missionettes for the girls and Royal Rangers for the boys.  In Royal Rangers Sean would have a male figure to look up to.  I know in each different church they have similar programs.  Do this for your children and I know you will find down the road it was also for you.  Don't lurk on here.  We are family.  Come to us.  We will let you vent, cry, scream or what ever you need at that moment.  You know that little girl was born when you were active on this board so she belongs to us too.  She has lots of aunts and uncles who love her!!  Here is a great big Carmen hug from Ladybug!!!

This you must remember--you are a special woman--beautiful inside and out.  That special person will come along, and in the meantime you will have the strength to carry on. My father left when I was 4 months old--my Mom just couldn't afford to keep me and had to give me to my Grandparents.  I was reared in middle Tennessee by sharecroppers in very poor cir****tances. I know adversity is difficult, But I was loved, met the right woman (we have been married 35 years), worked hard, graduated from college and had a good life.  No bed of roses and at times I did not think I could make it--but there comes an inner strength with adversity--and with faith in God. 
My faith says you will endure--and just remember that if you do not feel as close to God as you once did--He never moves.  He is always waiting for you to come to him..

God bless and keep you.

Volfan-in-Alabama
Gary L.

Just a word of inspiration....God is with you and will not put anymore weight on your shoulders than you can carry.....you will come out of this dark moment stronger, wiser and more confident.  God blessed you with two wonderful children to cherish, and I know you will do just fine.
We are all here to listen, support and comfort.  FArmgirl58

Karine, I am so sorry about everything that you are going through.  I know that God has someone for you.  I also know for me to tell you this is just words right now.  I wish I could do something to ease your pain and comfort you.  I do hate that this man has hurt you and these beautiful children.   If there is anything at all I can ever do to help, Karine, please let me know.  I do care!!

Karine,

I am praying for you and your babies. I know the difficulty you face, as I have been there. Just love them all you can, hug them every day. I don't knoe their ages, but they may be too yong to know what their father is doing. He doesn't deserve to be a father. Remember any many can father a child, but it takes a someone special to be a dad.
Someone special will come along and love you and your babies.  Life has a way of workng things out.

Karine
    I am here for you girl!
    I can not imagine what you are going thru right now, but just know---  there is a GOD, and he is watching over you, he is there thru the valleys and when you are on mountain tops...  he will never leave you or forsake you, he is the almighty one that can help you now when no one else can. ~~~~  I pray and ask that GOD will touch your heart. soul and mind, and give you inner peace like you have never had before. 
  Love and many prayers!
   Tammy