i really just want to cry right now and i don't have anyone else to vent to.

here's the thing: i'm in school right now trying to finish up a degree i started back in 1996 (but now i'm going to have to basically do the whole thing over again because everything i took back then doesn't apply anymore.) well, one of the classes that i'm taking is "intro to digital photography" or some such nonsense. the last time the class met we were supposed to turn in two assignments. i didn't turn these assignments in because i didn't understand how to make my camera "DO" what he wants it to DO! when the class began back in january i asked him if i would need a new camera for this class (back when i had some money to buy a new camera with.) he looked at my camera and said that it would be just fine and not to worry about it.

well now, looking at the assignments that are overdo and the two assignments that are due in less than two hours from now it's painfully obvious that my camera just isn't suitable for this class! either that or i'm just stupid and don't understand the durn thing which is entirely possible (although, i've had this camera for like 6+ years and i'm pretty familiar with it by now...)

so... idk what to do. i don't have any money so i can't just go out and buy a new camera or anything. and even if i could, i wouldn't have the first clue about which one to get! (that's a lot of research to be done... not something i like to do just "spur of the moment" or anything. a camera is an investment and not something to be taken lightly financially.) but in about two hours i will be 4 assignments in the hole and not any closer to understanding what i need to do in the first place because the notes he gave do not apply to my camera! (so like, until i can put it into action how the heck am i supposed to even begin to understand the concepts???)

and i know, y'all are going to tell me that i just need to talk to the instructor and explain my situation and ask (beg) for leniancy, etc, etc. well see, the thing is this, i have social anxiety disorder. and even just thinking about this right now has put a lump in my throat and my eyes are blurry with tears. i don't want to go to class today. i don't want to go to this class again. i don't understand this class and it's raising my anxiety to an entirely new level and i can't stand this, it's really driving me insane! you just have no idea, i mean, i'm seriously crying right now. and why? because i'm afraid to ask my instructor for help in class. stupid. just effing stupid.

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

thanks sweetie

Is it too late to drop the class? Just drop it and pick it up another time if that is still possible.

Sorry to hear you are stressing. Hope it all gets worked out.

i've already dropped this class once before (with a different instructor who had a TOTALLY different way of presenting the class. i mean, she didn't get into "HOW" to take a picture or use your camera AT ALL.) so i think i'm just sorta stuck unless i want to screw up my gpa even further.

Is there someone else in the class who might be able to help?

i don't know anyone in my class. seriously, i don't talk. at all. the social anxiety disorder makes me more of an observer of life rather than a participant. almost like i'm constantly watching tv or something, only it's called reality.

okay so i went and talked to him and showed him my camera and explained that i really don't understand how to make my camera do what he wants us to do for these projects. then he looked at my camera and said "yeah, you're gonna need a new camera." wtf!!!  so anyway, i'm going to look at cameras this afternoon and hopefully i'll get this project done and turned in by next class (he said that would be fine.)

HUGS!!  I am so sorry!! It has to suck.

On a better note...let's talk soon to arrange our trip on the 4th!! WE gonna have a good time!!

ya, i'm free all day friday and most of the weekend too so just call me anytime