Just need to whine a bit

I once again want to thank everyone for your prayers and support during my battle with cancer. The chemo is over but that last treatment has left me so weak that I am having a difficult time getting over it. I still have neuropathy in my fingers, toes, my back and parts of my face. This could last for months and even years. My eyes continuously water and my vision is blurred. All of this is interfering with my work. I am making a lot of mistakes because I honestly cannot see well enough not to miss words, etc. Our workload right now is unbelievable yet they have cut out all overtime. I am now working at home at night without pay just so I won't feel like I am drowning. My radiation will begin Monday, every week day for 7 weeks. I have not had another bone scan yet but that will be soon. They are still watching the spots on my ribs but won't really be able to tell much until that scan. I'm still losing weight simply because I cannot taste my food and so I don't eat it. I will buy something because it looks so good but when I go to take a bite its like eating cardboard so I end up throwing or giving it away. Its been 3 weeks since the last chemo but I have no hair coming in yet. I can keep wearing the wig but not having eyebrows and eyelashes really make me look sick. I guess today is just a whiny day for me. I'm so discouraged and tired of being sick. I probably shouldn't come here feeling and talking like this and I do apologize. I try my best to keep a good attitude with everyone around me, including my family. But there are times when all of us just get tired of what life throws at us and I suppose it's better to get it out than to keep it in. There are a few of you who have been such an inspiration to me. You have not forgotten me and for that I am so grateful. I'm sorry I am not here more often but it is so hard to read much less try to respond and to be perfectly honest my heart just isn't where it should be right now. I love you all and really I'm not asking or seeking for sympathy - its enough to just be able to come and get this off my chest. There are people in much worse shape than myself. I'm going to be fine but its just that right now I'm feeling the stress of work, my health, finances and just all the mess going on in today's world. We all are, aren't we? I went to service Tuesday night and the preacher was doing a healing service. A lady went down front who had cancer and he looked up at the audience and said "People have cancer because of sin in their life". As far as I was concerned the service was over for me. I cannot believe that. I do believe that the devil causes sickness but not just cancer - all sickness. And I do not believe it is necessarily because of sin in your life. We don't really know why God allows some people to be struck down with illnesses. I've searched my heart and asked God to forgive me if there is something I'm not aware of. How do you feel about a statement like that? Maybe that's why I'm feeling so down. I just don't know.
Debbie

Oh my sweet Debbie Dooo....I don't know who that preacher was, but he was wrong.   We become sick because of the original sin.  There was no sickness before that, but NO no one gets cancer due to sin in their lives.  If that is so, my grandson sinned at the age of 18 months.  He was diagnosed the a rare form of Leukemia at that age.  There is no way that my grandson had leukemia due to his sins.  That is a lie.  You are one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met.  I know many people, including my dad and step dad who had cancer and believe me, they were men of God.  I am so sorry you are not feeling well.  I love you and pray for you daily.  You don't give that preacher another thought.  I LOVE YOU!!!! 

John 9: 1-5
And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents; but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day; the night cometh, when no man can work.
As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

I could have given you a reply to the statement the preacher made, but I felt like words from the Master would speak more loudly!!!  You have searched your life and know your heart.  The scripture also says that it rains on the just and unjust.  You know that in your heart but you are just in a weakened position right now.  These are the things you would tell me if the roles were reversed.  Do you have our new CD?  I can't remember if you got it or the first one.  If you have the new one listen to the song "Your Still God".  It speaks to me everytime I sing it.

I wish there was more I could do for you but please know I love you and pray for you daily!!!

"I went to service Tuesday night and the preacher was doing a healing service. A lady went down front who had cancer and he looked up at the audience and said "People have cancer because of sin in their life". As far as I was concerned the service was over for me. I cannot believe that. I do believe that the devil causes sickness but not just cancer - all sickness. And I do not believe it is necessarily because of sin in your life. We don't really know why God allows some people to be struck down with illnesses. I've searched my heart and asked God to forgive me if there is something I'm not aware of. How do you feel about a statement like that? Maybe that's why I'm feeling so down. I just don't know."


Debbie Doo!  First I want to say I am so sorry you had a rough last treatment.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know if you realize this but your presence on this board makes my day sometimes.  You are a wonderful, precious person!!!

Secondly,  it is statements like that from an IGNORANT person who completely turns people OFF to any form of religion and Christianity for that matter.  I'm getting whiplash from shaking my head right now at the ridiculous statement that hurled from his lips !

You have cancer because you had abnormal cells that formed in your body.  It can happen to anyone, anytime, anyplace for no reason other than that.  I suppose this asshole believes all "sinful" children or infants developed cancer because of their evil ways. Or maybe all those old people in nursing homes, having lived their lives, producing families, serving our country, and being once very productive citizens have all their health problems because they are so sinful.

Karma will bite him in the ass one day, I promise you that! 

In the meanwhile, take care of yourself. Your greatest strength comes from within.  I miss the picture of you on the Harley ( I think that was you).  What wonderful spirit you have, free to love, free to enjoy life, and free from allowing some idiot with very eskewed  control issues to determine why you are sick. When you go into remission, and you will, you will be stronger, you will be empowered, and you may be placed in a position to help others, maybe a young mother who may go through the same thing as you.  Geez, I guess Mr. Healer didn't mention providence.  Of course not, he is a "healer" so it is better to profit from those who are in vulnerable positions.

I love you Debbie Doo! 
Please keep us updated on your progress.  I miss see you on the board.
Nanci

Hi Debbie, I don't know you, but I wanted to give you a big hug! You're beautiful inside and out...never forget it!

Gisela

DEBBIE DOO I WILL SAY THE SAME AS DEBBIE ROBERTS.JUST TO LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WONDERFULL WOMAN AND A GREAT INSPIRATION TO ALL OF US.
MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND A BETTER TOMORROW
LOVE MEMAW PAT