OT. One more chance?

Okay...I am in a delima.  I had a friend who betrayed me badly several years ago.  She slung my name through the mud.  It turned into a real "hate" relationship on my part.  She even went as far as to go on a tv/radio talk show and slander my name with false accusations.  After she did that, and the station refused to give me a copy of the show, I started taping it.  Anyway, she called back the next week and talked about other things.  Mainly her deceased husband, son, current events, etc...She was happy in that conversation and laughed and talked for quite a while.  I caught that show on my dvd and for some reason just never erased it.  I evenutually quit taping the show.  Well...she died unexpectedly this week.  She has a 19 year old son who is in the military.  I pulled the dvd out and watched it again today and thought..."would her son want to hear his mother's voice again, if he had the opportunity?"  Now, my question is...should I try to get this dvd to her mother or son?  Would any of you who have lost a parent or close relative want to hear their voice again if given the opportunity?  My husband says he wouldn't, only because his mother has been dead for over 30 years.  He thinks this young boy; though, might be a different situation.  Should I destroy it or save it and try to get it to them later?  Any advice?

My Friend passed away last year. I loved her so... just the day before I had went in and deleted all my messages saved on my voicemail. I kicked myself a hundred times wanting to hear her sweet voice talking to me. Oh, I can hear her voice now in my thoughts - her laugh- she her smile. Hear her sing!
Now.. I am so bad about deleting messages because I just want to hang onto them.
Crazy huh?

So speaking as a friend - I would want to hear her voice again. And one day I will because I know she is home with our Father and I am going to sit with her at the Master's Table!

Good luck with your decision! 

I would think long & hard about what to do.  Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie.   Does the tape that you are wanting to give them have her talking bad about you on it?  Or is it the one where you mentioned her as laughing and being happy.  If I gave it to them, you might consider waiting a few days. 

Not sure what I would do

I think her family would love hearing the DVD.  If you are not sure you could tell them you have it and let them make the decision.  I know if it were my mom I would be thrilled to hear her voice one more time.

My Brother had an accident when he was 22 , he lay-ed 17 days in a coma before passing . Late evening of his funeral my Brother, Sister ,and I had went back to the graveyard to see the flower's. When we arrived home we got out and upon walking onto the carport we heard my Brother talking. We all just looked at each other and ran into the house to find my Mom at the kitchen table in tears listening to a tape of my Brother talking. That day I can say it hurt , but it has been 33 yrs ago. Thru the years we have listen to the tape often ,we laugh ,and we cry but it's a good cry. My personal opinion would be to hold on to it and mention it to them a little later and give them the option to have it or not. I love to hear my brother , it brings back Good Times and makes me smile. Hope this helps

Edited to add :  If it is a DVD and they can see her as well as hear her, what I would give for one that I could see him instead of one  just talking .

It was taped from a morning "call in" television show.  So, it does have the hosts of the show on the DVD.  But, it is just her voice calling in.  No picture of her.  Also this wasn't the first call that she made, where she slandered and talked so badly about me and others.  This was the second call, and nothing really negative was said about anyone.  It is just her talking about various topics they were discussing on the show that day.  She also mentions her son being in the military on the DVD and you can hear the pride in her voice.  That's the main reason I want him to have it.  I want him to know how proud she was of him. And I want him to have the opportunity to hear her voice just one more time.   Even though she did some unspeakable things to me over the past two years, and I couldn't even bring myself to go to the viewing or funeral, I still want to do what's right with this recording and her son. 

I LOVE WATCHING OLD VIDEOS THAT MY DAD MADE OF MY MAMA AND MY KIDS TOGETHER GROWING UP.  WE LAUGH AND CRY EACH TIME WE WATCH THEM, BUT THEY ARE SO VERY SPECIAL TO US ALL.  MY GIRLS WERE MUCH YOUNGER THEN AND THERE ARE MANY MANY VIDEOS THAT DADDY MADE OF THEM COOKING THE KITCHEN TOGETHER, PLAYING OUTSIDE ALL KINDS OF STUFF.  I WOULDN'T TRADE THOSE MEMORIES FOR ANYTHING.  WOULD YOU RATHER SEND IT TO THEM ANNOYMOUSLY?  MAYBE THAT'S A THOUGHT SINCE YOU HAD SUCH A STRUGGLED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.  OR JUST MAIL IT TO THEM AND SIGN A SYMPATHY CARD EXPLAINING WHAT YOU HAVE HERE.  I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.  GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.

You sound like you have already made up your mind  So go with your heart. I think he would love them and one day they will fiil that empty feeling with Love and Memories, as they have mine.

I am going to give you my advice from my own experience. My dad died in 1981 when my son was only 8 years old. Years later Jay went to work where my dad was working when he died and came into possession of some cassetts that some journalists had done when interviewing him for the newspaper.  He gave them to me and I was the only one in my family with those prized tapes. I kept them in my car and played them often. My car was broken into and some of my cassetts stolen. Yes do please keep the DVD and ask the family if they would like it.  Speaking as a child of deceased parents I would want  the DVD.

My daddy passed away in 1974.  I had an old recording of him singing "The Wabash Cannon Ball".  However, after I married and left home, my mother lost it.  I loved to hear my daddy talk, even as a little girl.  He had an old southern gentleman accent and that is pretty much gone now.  Anyway...I would not destroy this DVD.  This could be priceless to that young man some day.  It may be too soon now, but one day he will treasure that.