So I have been at my job for well over a year having had the same supervisor. My supervisor tends to have a smart mouth. Which I can over look. But shes been doing something I cant over look. My best friend in the whole world is a man. Hes engaged and for those who dont know I am very much married. A newly wed and I love my husband very much, but my best friend is a man and hes okay with that. My supervisor has been making comments about how she "knows" he and I are sleeping together. For a while she wouldn't allow us to sit together even though it had no effect on out job performance what so ever. Tonight as I was leaving she walked me to the door and said she saw he and I both have the day off tomorrow. She hoped we have a good day together also for me to go straight home after work and not be waiting on him when he gets off an hour later bc she "knows" I do. Shes said things like this several times which I find to be highly offensive. Should I approach her about it? If I do she will punish me she will make me miserable and look for every way possible to fire me. Or should I go to our HR dept and risk the same things? Or am I overreacting? I just really feel like she has crossed the line this time. And it would be different but this is not the first time she has said things like this.

Go to HR. It is harrassment. What you do on your personal time is not her business what friendships you have outside of work.
Or you could just flat out tell her that your husband is very much aware of this friendship and has no problem with it, why should she?

Thats my thing even if I were its none of her business, my husband is okay with my friends. I just want to punch her in the face which I know will solve nothing! Anything I may do she will make me pay for! Im just so tired of her stuff one person can only handle so much and shes crossed the line!

Let HR know you are afraid of retaliation. There is protection out there!!

Ouch! I am sorry you are in this position. If you don't feel comfortable to approach HR yet, document everything.  When you are ready, you will have your ducks lined up in a row.

Take care, Nanci

I too would keep a journal of all that is going on, dates, times, comments etc. Then I would approach HR with this. Does your company have a "open door" policy? If so, you should be able to talk with her superior without putting yourself in danger of losing your job.  Document, document, document and then go to HR. SHe needs to be corrected for her behavior. Sorry you are having to go through this.

Nanci, that is unacceptable.  You are being harrassed,  It is illegal!  listen to Iris.  If anyone knows about sticky job situations, she does!  I am curious?  Does she give the same treatment to your best friend?  Regardless, you do NOT have to put up with this!!!

Yes she makes even more comments to him about it than she does me. I am going to start writing everything down so I will have everything ready when I decide what to do. She does things like this to several people and no one has been brave enough to buck up and no longer take it!

John,
Unacceptable because it is harrassment? Or unacceptable because I suggested she document? I don't understand.

If she decides to go to HR, which would be a good idea, she needs to do it own her own terms.  It takes a lot of courage to do so. 

Nanci

Oops!  My mistake!  I put YOUR name at the header when I meant Cristy!  Soory!  Documention is a must!  You are right there.  I just meant the situation is unacceptable.  No one should have to put up with any kind of abuse in the workplace.  My aged brain just put the wrong name up there.  Sorry!!!