Questions of the Day

This is a real question, where I am seeking answers.  Please respond with your views.




What kind of needs do I want fulfilled by a WLS support group?



In other words, what would make it worth your while to get up, get dressed, fight traffic, and sit with other people for an hour or so a couple of times a month?  What would that group have to offer to make it worth your while to go to all the trouble and expense?


For me, it would be feelings of being accepted and appreciated, a time to talk about my issues, both those related to WLS and my adjustment to WLS.  I need friends that understand the health issues and concerns, but who show an genuine interest in me and my life in an atmosphere of fun and acceptance.  What about you?

Karla...I also would want to feel accepted and feel that the people in charge were knowledgeable about WLS and how to help us stay in compliance with good advice.  The group I was a part of was very knowledgeable and had many many good samples at times.  I need a group that could help me get back on track when I mess up.    I just need a lot of support from people who understand where I am and where I am trying to go.

(BTW...Karla...I heard a very interesting story about some furniture in your home.   I loved it.  I love things in my home with character and it sounds as though you have a lot of things with just that.  It was so interesting to me.)

For me it's the fellowship and being able to share my experience.  I am in a position to both give and receive advice/support in my support group.  Since I am only 7 1/2 months out, I still have questions that come up.  We have several pre-ops and one person who is one month out so I can provide advice and/or support for them and answer their questions (based on my personal journey).  Our support group is relatively new, but growing each month.  It's just nice to have people to talk to about WLS who understand it and can relate to what I may be going through.  While my family is totally supportive, they cannot relate since they have not made the journey themselves.

Sandi

I have not had WLS, but have been to some WLS support group meetings.  I attended a couple, several years back -- when first researching WLS, that were
presented by a local physician and his staff. 

I also attended some meetings with Becky Bellamy when
she was directing a support group in the small town
of Center Star. (I hope I have that name right)

My opinions -- , as someone who has not had WLS but has an interest in it and may someday pursue it, was that in the first setting with a physician and their office staff--the presentation was far too large and too formal to allow for any personalization for individual needs or concerns.  It almost came across as more of the particular practice trying to sell their product to the consumer rather than to provide help and guidance in the day to day living situations.

When I attended the sessions led by Becky, I was pleasantly surprised to find that while there was a good representation (Numbers wise) of people, there was also the personalization to the individuals involved.
There was always valuable information provided in a structured environment with handouts to review at a later date and at ones own convenience. This information included nutritional facts, what to expect and when to expect it in the WLS process, enouragement in the diet and exercise aspects, and samples of WLS friendly products for each individual to try.
These presentations allowed for interation by the participants to insure that they could have any of their questions answered by someone very knowledgable in the WLS process.
With each session, there was also time allowed for open communication and fellowship with ones peers, thus allowing for the group sessions as well as one on one sharing and interaction.
Although I had not had WLS, I was made to feel very accepted at these meetings and I came away with additional knowledge after each of them.
I think, if looking for a support group, a lot of these things are the attributes that I would look for in making a decison.
I know that a lot of people have enjoyed the leadership that was offered by Becky in multiple support groups over the years.  She has some impressive credentials as a support group leader (ObesityHelp Certified Support Group Leader; BS****rtified Support Group Leader and BSCI Success Habits Certified Leader) and hopefully---soon, she will re-enter that role as a support group leader!  I know a lot of people could and WOULD benefit from her many years of experience in the field of Bariatrics!

Carolyn~

I am over two years out, and like most of us, I am fearful of weight regain.  I know that I have to continue to work at it to keep the weight off.  it seems like to me that meeting with others and listening to them at different stages of the journey is really important to me.

I would like to support groups more and more address those who may have slipped and how to bring them back wtih support and encouragement to their former discipline with the diet and exercise that is part of the program.

I think that one way that programs like WW has failed is to realize that it is more than just eating right.  We need something to give us the emotional connection that we are seeking in food.  We need a "buddy", "angel." "sponsor," or someone that is special who can be with us when we are tempted to do go astray or who can build us up when we are down.

None of these programs offer somethings like a meeting place to walk and talk.  I think one of the things that would make a successful group for me, too, is to have a set time to meet in one of the parks or tracks to just walk.  I remember years ago, I was eager to join Jazzercise with a friend, because I knew I would not be the only one there that looked stupid in a leotard.  We also met two nights a week at the track to walk.  We spent more time talking about how awful our job was and what frightened us, but we did it at a power walk that was satisfactory both physically and mentally.

Do you think other people would respond to these kind of informal meetings to walk at local parks or tracks?   One could do that whether one was WLS or not.

Hi Sky,
For me it's a little of the same thing and also knowing that one hasn't had the surgery (but has a date to go see surgeon again,still trying to explore all everything and listen to what surgeon says)has been in my same place before with all the emotions and embarrassments as I have about my weight.Knowing that they care enough to not exclude you or look at you differently because I am overweight.If it wasn't for the support I probably would continue to couch and t.v. sit and let my arteries harden and continue getting fatter until I just keeled over.   

I My Support Group The Weigh Downers
    
With God's Great Blessings,
Brandy

Been there, done that....but believe me there is a better way.  Yes, I think we all know what it is like to be disrespected or have people talk about "what a pretty face, you really should do somethign about your weight."    And because we have all been there, we are certainly not ones to judge.

But what I am learning is that the battle is not really over with the weight loss, there still needs to be a support group that can help you with the stuff that remains in your head about who and what you look like and feel.

Some people seem to develop "sensitivity" or in another word or two, they seem to be hypersensitive to social slights, because of experiences in the past.  A support group is one that can help you get a new perspective on the changes that you are experiencing....and what to do with that anger that you didn't anticipate developing over things that suddenly you are included in.    I don't think most people expect the changes in other's perceptions.

In my own case, I got really angery when my cousin told me how proud she was of me for losing weight.  She had not told me that she was proud of the two houses I had paid off, survived a fire, written a textbook, published several articles, was elected to a national committee, served on a national board of directors, made tenure in a major university,....no, she was proud of me losing weight....the other things didn't count.  I was ticked and obviously, still am.  Now, suddenly all that other stuff counts,b ut it didn't when I was fat.  I actually am asked to be chair of committees now, since I appear to have better control of my appetite, I must have better control of all things.   Actually, I am less tolerant of people now than I was before....but no one notices.  These are the kinds of things people need to know about and that they are common experiences for those who have lost a lot of weight.