Wedding Bliss

A young couple were married and then embarked on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride ran to the phone and called her mother, who asked, "How was your honeymoon, dear?" "Oh, mama!" she replied, "The honeymoon was so wonderful and romantic..." But then, suddenly she burst out crying and said "but, mama, as soon as we returned home, he started using the most horrible language... things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"

"Darling, darling," her mother said, "calm down and tell me, what words could be so awful?" And, the daughter cried "please don't make me tell you, mama! I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! Just come and get me, please!"

"Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset... tell me these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama... words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"


 

A couple had been married for 50 years and a party was thrown for their golden anniversary.  The husband was very moved by the occasion and wanted to tell his wife how much he thought of her. She was hard of hearing, however, and often misunderstood what he said.  With family and friends gathered around, he toasted her and said, “My dear wife, after 50 years I’ve found you tried and true!” 

Everyone clapped for them, but his wife was a little irritated and asked, “What did you say?”  He spoke louder, “After 50 years, I’ve found you tried and true!” 

The wife was now visibly upset and shouted back, “Well, after 50 years I’m tired of you, too!”