Here's one for us today
"Who's On First?"
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they went on through it.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, and the light was red again. Again, the car zipped right through it.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they zoomed right through it!
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just went through three red lights in a row?
You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh mercy, am I driving?"
![](http://images.obesityhelp.com/_shared/images/smiley/msn/rofl2.gif)
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Michele
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Old friends
Two elderly ladies, Ellen and JuJu, had been the best of friends for over 50 years. Over the decades they had spent together, they had worked together, lived next door to each other, and even vacationed together with their husbands. In their golden years, they would meet every afternoon to play cards.
One day, as they were wrapping up a game of pinochle, Ellen looks at JuJu sheepishly and says , "Now please don't get angry with me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't seem to remember your name! I've been wracking my brain for the past hour but it still escapes me. Please remind a forgetful old lady!"
JuJu glares angrily at her. For five minutes, she doesn't speak, only giving her friend stares of disappointment. Finally, JuJu asks, "How soon do you need to know?"