Bless His Heart.........

If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close the lid on your casket!

 

 

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles.

   

While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles

   

 that had never been opened and distributed.

   

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the

   

congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for

   

$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

   

 

   

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

   

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and

   

were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious  doubts

   

about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself

   

because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis

   

stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister

   

decided to let him try anyway.

   

 

   

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked

   

with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of

   

their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

   

 

   

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately

   

asked Jack, 'Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last

   

week?'

   

 

   

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, 'Using my sales

   

prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected

   

on behalf of the church.'  'Fine job, Jack!'  The minister said,

   

vigorously shaking his hand.  'You are indeed a fine salesman and the

   

Church is indebted to you.'

   

 

   

Turning to Paul, 'And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church

   

last week?'  Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,

   

'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and

   

here's $280 I collected.'  The minister responded, 'That's absolutely

   

splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman, and the church is

   

indebted to you.'

   

 

   

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, 'And Louie, did

   

you manage to sell any bibles last week?'  Louie silently offered the

   

minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the

   

contents.  'What is this?'  the minister exclaimed. 'Louie, there's

   

$3200 in here!  Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the

   

church, door to door, in just one week?'  Louie just nodded.  'That's

   

impossible!' both Jack and Paul said in unison.  'We are professional

   

salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we

   

could.'  'Yes, this does seem unlikely,' the minister! agreed.  'I think

   

you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.'

   

 

   

Louie shrugged.  'I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for

   

sh-sh-sh-sure,' he stammered.

   

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. 'For crying out loud, Louie, just tell

   

us what you said to them when they answered the door!'

   

'A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,' Louis replied, 'W-w-w-w-would

   

y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible

   

F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just

   

l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and  r-r-r -r-r-read it t-to

   

y-y-you?'

   

 

   

  Thanks Aunt Mary for the early morning laugh.  I HAD to share this one!

 Love IT!!

Don't cha?  I did too!

Thanks so much for the laugh!!! 

 Thanks for sharing!!