OT: school teachers
Our middle grandson is an exceptionally brilliant child BUT he has a motor dysfunction that presented a problem. Hadden was just not ready for school so he was held out a year. It made all the difference in the world. When he did start he was just fine. At times he gets antsy because his little mind is thinking way ahead but overall he does great.
I would like for Ryan to be held out this year but I am trying to honor his dad's wishes by sending him to school. (His dad is in Iraq and I have
custody until his mom gets to the states). Am I drawing conclusions too early? After all, it's still early in the school year, but I dont see the point in sending him to school if all he is doing is socializing. I also wonder if he is really learning but just not demonstrating. You know how some kids talk late but when they do talk, they have an advanced vocabulary??? Is there a way to access his ability even if he refuses to work?
Gina
My oldest son was 2 days away from the deadline to be able to start school. He was actually 4 and turned 5 two weeks after school started. He had been in daycare all his life, so he enjoyed going to school and being around other kids...but the work was a little too much for him....especially the 2nd semester when they started reading. I went ahead and let him start according to schedule knowing that I would probably have to hold him back. He wasn't a distraction to the other kids in the class so I left him in school and as I suspected, he had trouble paying attention and sitting still long enough, etc but the teacher worked with him knowing his young age. I did end up holding him back and the next year he was right where he needed to be. Was the 1st year a total waste of time? I don't think so. I feel like he learned more in the 1st year than if he were left in preschool or daycare. Since I was a single mom at that time, that's exactly where he would have been.
Good luck making your decision. Go with your gut and do what you feel is best for him.
My oldest son was 2 days away from the deadline to be able to start school. He was actually 4 and turned 5 two weeks after school started. He had been in daycare all his life, so he enjoyed going to school and being around other kids...but the work was a little too much for him....especially the 2nd semester when they started reading. I went ahead and let him start according to schedule knowing that I would probably have to hold him back. He wasn't a distraction to the other kids in the class so I left him in school and as I suspected, he had trouble paying attention and sitting still long enough, etc but the teacher worked with him knowing his young age. I did end up holding him back and the next year he was right where he needed to be. Was the 1st year a total waste of time? I don't think so. I feel like he learned more in the 1st year than if he were left in preschool or daycare. Since I was a single mom at that time, that's exactly where he would have been.
Good luck making your decision. Go with your gut and do what you feel is best for him.
Thanks for the reply. Ryan is old enough but does not show an interest in letters or numbers. He enjoys being read to but refuses to even try to write. This is foriegn to me because my kids were always interested in learning stuff. His cousin is 4 months younger and can identify some sight words, spell (some words), write, count, etc., etc.
His teacher admits that he is behind but hopes he will eventually catch up. Does it just take boys longer to catch on?
His teacher admits that he is behind but hopes he will eventually catch up. Does it just take boys longer to catch on?
This is her area of expertise That's not off the wall. That was what his teacher was thinking but honestly he seems to be fine with the fact that he's 5000 miles from home. He talks to his mom several times a week. He tells her that he misses her but he doesnt cry or pout. He knows she's coming soon and he seems satisfied with that.
He hasnt been able to talk with his dad but he knows that he is in Iraq "fighting bad guys". His parents are very careful how they explain things to him so he understands. Even when his dad was not deployed, he was "in the field" a lot so he understands about dad's "work".
If he seemed sad, I'd assume that he's homesick or missing his parents but he seems to be taking all that in stride.
He hasnt been able to talk with his dad but he knows that he is in Iraq "fighting bad guys". His parents are very careful how they explain things to him so he understands. Even when his dad was not deployed, he was "in the field" a lot so he understands about dad's "work".
If he seemed sad, I'd assume that he's homesick or missing his parents but he seems to be taking all that in stride.
I'm not a teacher (never claimed to be one, lol) HOWEVER, I was the director of a daycare for 10yrs, and I learned alot about kids & their ability to learn. It may be that it's just all new to him, and that's why it seems over his head. Kids who've spent time in daycare or preschool, seem to adapt faster to 'real school'. The routine of school can be hard...I'd hate to think I had to go back to it. Alot of it may be over their heads, whether they've been in any sort of learning situation before or not, but as long as he has an understanding teacher, and a G'mom that's willing to work with him, he'll be fine. And, if at the end of the year, he's not ready for 1st grade, then you can always hold him back. Chances are, by the time Christmas break gets here, he'll be at the top of his class!
It just alarms me because my kids took to education (school) like a duck to water.
Karsyn turned three this week and she is already trying to write her name. Kaylee is five and will ask how to spell words so that she can write complete sentences. I have more books and educational / teaching aids than the average grandma.. but Ryan is not interested. I read to him and he listens. We discuss the stories and he has good recall.. but it stops right there. I can point to a letter, tell him what it is a million times, then ask what letter is that and get a totally random answer. I try not to push because I dont want to completely turn him off to education. He enjoys school and I want it to be fun but it's not just about fun. He has homework that is not being done because it's either over his head or he just doesnt want to do it.
He went to preschool but HATED it and cried every day. His teacher was one of those who is just drawing a paycheck and not really interested in teaching so it was more of a glorified babysitting service, know what I mean? I'm glad he is enjoying school and that I had some say in who his teacher is. (She is a very sweet, caring, and experienced kindergarten teacher).
I guess what I'm really saying is that no one wants their child / grandchild to be the one that is behind in school. He's had some social / anger issues, I dont want struggling in school to cause a setback in these areas.
Karsyn turned three this week and she is already trying to write her name. Kaylee is five and will ask how to spell words so that she can write complete sentences. I have more books and educational / teaching aids than the average grandma.. but Ryan is not interested. I read to him and he listens. We discuss the stories and he has good recall.. but it stops right there. I can point to a letter, tell him what it is a million times, then ask what letter is that and get a totally random answer. I try not to push because I dont want to completely turn him off to education. He enjoys school and I want it to be fun but it's not just about fun. He has homework that is not being done because it's either over his head or he just doesnt want to do it.
He went to preschool but HATED it and cried every day. His teacher was one of those who is just drawing a paycheck and not really interested in teaching so it was more of a glorified babysitting service, know what I mean? I'm glad he is enjoying school and that I had some say in who his teacher is. (She is a very sweet, caring, and experienced kindergarten teacher).
I guess what I'm really saying is that no one wants their child / grandchild to be the one that is behind in school. He's had some social / anger issues, I dont want struggling in school to cause a setback in these areas.
So far, Gina, people seem to have given you excellent advice. He most likely does need to stay in school, especially since his teacher seems to really understand the "adjustment" that he is going through. He may very well be "mourning" being separated from his parents. However, being with the other kids will teach him a lot. As long as he enjoys school, he will be fine. You need to keep a good communication open with the teacher and see what she thinks about his progress. We have just completed the first 6 weeks of school, and I am sure he is not the only one that is not ready at this point.
It is important that you do not think of this as him "failing." He may need to stay back at the end of the year to become a stronger student, especially, if his birthday was a summer birthday. He may be in the room with kids who are almost a whole year older than he is. When you look at "gifted" kids in school, the majority are born between September and January, because that makes them almost a year older than their peers. Summer babies just have fewer months to mature before school starts. And for what it is worth, you can tell his Daddy that lots of people keep their sons out the first year and start them late so they can play football and be heavier by their high school years....it has to do with eligibility. I don't know what the law is in Alabama, but most states require that a child be in school by the age of 7 and kindergarten is not required...however, I would not recommend that you take him out, because of the social skills that he will learn from being in school with what appears to be an understanding teacher.
What makes a difference in him seeing repeating kindergarten as "failing" or as a chance to be stronger depends entirely on what you and his parents tell and show him. At home, he needs to be doing as many different kinds of things as you can possibly get him into. Physical training like learning to swim, play ball, walk a curb ( or just a two by four laid on the ground) without falling off, leaning to skip, jump, jump rope, catch a ball, run ( I am sure that the men in the family know how to coach him in running, catching, etc.), playing t-ball, learning to bat for real, all of those things teach hand to eye coordination, which are pre-reading skills. They are not "wasted" time. Teach him his left and right hand. Play games with him like Simon Says Simon says put your right hand on top of your head, etc. Play Shoots and Ladders to learn his colors, or any of those other millions of games for non-readers. You can help him without making it tiresome for you or others. Teach him to play Mother May I. Then there are all the jump rope rhymes that you have used for years. Learning to do crafts at the kitchen table...like make placemats for dinner where he has to use crayons, scissors, and paste will help him learn to use his fine motor skills for writing. Teaching him to fish, paddle a canoe, shoot a plastic dart gun, teaching him to fly fish, ...whatever interests you and your husband can be used as skills training for him. Even learning how to hammer nails into an old log, ride a bicycle, hunt, carry tools for you husband and learn how to use them, all of those that require him to use his eyes and hands are activities that prepare him to read and write.
You can also make him read to you. Have him to learn to read recipes if he want brownies to eat...or whatever he wants. Help him learn to measure and knead cookie dough, Just everyday things, because he probably hasn't connected reading with getting to do things yet.
You actually know all of this and probably did it with your own children, what you probably didn't know was why it was important. Then the other thing is to take him to places like the zoo where you have to show him the animals and then help him to read the signs about the animals. Take him to museums and other places that are important historically,e tc. This is how you build a really "smart" kid. Doing these kinds of things are not "entertainment," in reality, they are creating learning experiences and making things like reading and writing important.
My guess is that his parent haven 't had the time to do these things and the weather in Germany is not conducive to this kind of adventure.
He may be too immature for school. And yes, boys mature much later than girls in these respects. Girls are about two years ahead of boys in maturity until the age of 9, when boys start to catch up. However, girls remain taller and heavier for several more years, with boys usually getting growth spirt around 14, when most girls have already reach their full height. Many guys continue growing in height until about 25. However, if you will spend the time to do some of these things and plan for family outting to learning places, you can do a lot to help him mature rapidly.
It is important that you do not think of this as him "failing." He may need to stay back at the end of the year to become a stronger student, especially, if his birthday was a summer birthday. He may be in the room with kids who are almost a whole year older than he is. When you look at "gifted" kids in school, the majority are born between September and January, because that makes them almost a year older than their peers. Summer babies just have fewer months to mature before school starts. And for what it is worth, you can tell his Daddy that lots of people keep their sons out the first year and start them late so they can play football and be heavier by their high school years....it has to do with eligibility. I don't know what the law is in Alabama, but most states require that a child be in school by the age of 7 and kindergarten is not required...however, I would not recommend that you take him out, because of the social skills that he will learn from being in school with what appears to be an understanding teacher.
What makes a difference in him seeing repeating kindergarten as "failing" or as a chance to be stronger depends entirely on what you and his parents tell and show him. At home, he needs to be doing as many different kinds of things as you can possibly get him into. Physical training like learning to swim, play ball, walk a curb ( or just a two by four laid on the ground) without falling off, leaning to skip, jump, jump rope, catch a ball, run ( I am sure that the men in the family know how to coach him in running, catching, etc.), playing t-ball, learning to bat for real, all of those things teach hand to eye coordination, which are pre-reading skills. They are not "wasted" time. Teach him his left and right hand. Play games with him like Simon Says Simon says put your right hand on top of your head, etc. Play Shoots and Ladders to learn his colors, or any of those other millions of games for non-readers. You can help him without making it tiresome for you or others. Teach him to play Mother May I. Then there are all the jump rope rhymes that you have used for years. Learning to do crafts at the kitchen table...like make placemats for dinner where he has to use crayons, scissors, and paste will help him learn to use his fine motor skills for writing. Teaching him to fish, paddle a canoe, shoot a plastic dart gun, teaching him to fly fish, ...whatever interests you and your husband can be used as skills training for him. Even learning how to hammer nails into an old log, ride a bicycle, hunt, carry tools for you husband and learn how to use them, all of those that require him to use his eyes and hands are activities that prepare him to read and write.
You can also make him read to you. Have him to learn to read recipes if he want brownies to eat...or whatever he wants. Help him learn to measure and knead cookie dough, Just everyday things, because he probably hasn't connected reading with getting to do things yet.
You actually know all of this and probably did it with your own children, what you probably didn't know was why it was important. Then the other thing is to take him to places like the zoo where you have to show him the animals and then help him to read the signs about the animals. Take him to museums and other places that are important historically,e tc. This is how you build a really "smart" kid. Doing these kinds of things are not "entertainment," in reality, they are creating learning experiences and making things like reading and writing important.
My guess is that his parent haven 't had the time to do these things and the weather in Germany is not conducive to this kind of adventure.
He may be too immature for school. And yes, boys mature much later than girls in these respects. Girls are about two years ahead of boys in maturity until the age of 9, when boys start to catch up. However, girls remain taller and heavier for several more years, with boys usually getting growth spirt around 14, when most girls have already reach their full height. Many guys continue growing in height until about 25. However, if you will spend the time to do some of these things and plan for family outting to learning places, you can do a lot to help him mature rapidly.
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