Unfortunately I believe with my whole heart that the problem lies in the clicks and holier than though individuals who are out there to remove the joy or to revel in the sorrow of those who lie outside of their "click". Each of us are guilty of this at times, but it is sad to see that some people do it ALL of the time. The nasty private messages, emails etc. They are just not neccesary. And if any of you feel your toes being stepped on maybe you should take a step back and look at yourself and NOT look to others and say whats the problem with "them".

 

 

althea

I gotta respond here. I don't see any cliques or holier than thous here. We may not all agree, we may have different beliefs, but the support is here.
As far as nasty pm's, I haven't gotten any from antone on this board in a long time. If you get them, the best thing to do is report it to OH , or make it public on the board. That usually stops them.
On that note, who anyone else here decides to email, call, pm, or visit is not any one elses' business. PERIOD. The nature of people is to be closer to some than others. People here have forged wonderful friendships outside of this board, and they are entitled to do so.
I like you Althea, and you too are entitled to your opinion and to speak your mind. We don't always see the other side of the coin.
Have a wonderful day, and I hope the job is yours.

Quite possibly you should re-read what i wrote I believe that EACH of us is GUILTY of doing what I wrote about. Think about it. We all throw stones on occasion. Whether we mean to or NOT. Maybe the question is NOT where is the support but what can I/we do to not be unsupportive.

That is a better question, and a different subject. What can I do, personally? I don't respond if I have nothing to add to a thread. I can respond with supportive messages when I feel moved to do so. We all have to walk the thin line between being supportive or not. If you don't particularly care for someone, instead of flaming them, don't respond. Don't fuel the fire.
There are 2 posters here that I have blocked. I will leave them on block because nasty messages I recieved from both at one time or another. If that is unsupportive, so be it. I come to OH for myself, and I try to help who I can. I think the problem lies more in perception than anything. What you post to someone about some issue may not be how I fixed that issue for myself. We share thoughts and ideas, and some will be taken and some not.
I don't believe I am guilty of eing cliquish. I don't have a specifc group of people that I run with..either here or in my life. Now I may be guilty of judging others, but I try not to do that. It is human nature. We tend to gravitate to those most like ourselves. On a message board that is sometimes hard to do.

Althea. You nailed this one. This is just what I was talking with someone about last night. This person does not post on the board for the very same reason. It is not about support here, Clicks is just what we were talking about.  I will probaly get flogged for this but that is okay I can take it, will not be the first time.

Althea and Louise,  Please tell me what you guys are talking about.  The best way to solve ANY issue is to deal with it.  Just put it out here and let's go.  I'm not a pot stirrer, but there is only one way to resolve any matter.  That is to take it to the person you have the issue with.  I am so tired of all the negativity on our board.  Am I the Board Police, NO!  Am I a peace maker?  YES!  Why can't we let people be who they are and who they want to be and move on.  We don't always hang with thieves, murderers, and other groups,   the same is here.  Not calling anyone a thief or murderer, just using that as a metaphor.  We all have cliques.  My pastor says (as we even see cliques in churches) the more cliques, the more diverse we are and the more people we will reach.  Let's look beyond us and see others.  They are totally different and this just adds spice to our board and our lives.  If I don't agree, I ignore.  I just don't see the issue you both see.  I have been told that I am gullable and don't see things others do.  I sure am glad too at times.  Sometimes it isn't good, but sometimes it is.  This is the time it is good.  I love you both and I love everyone here, but good grief, LET US STOP ALL THE yah yahing and move on.  Now, I will get flamed, but I am a grown man and I can pray.   I like I said, love you both.   Let's just dwell in harmony. 

Edited to correct my "trying" to use big words.  HEHEHHEE

Althea and Renee- Hi you two!!  You know, you both are people that I have a lot of respect for and have talked to on occasion about this or that.  I really see where Althea is coming from here.  My time has been super limited with school and kids but when I do come on here on occasion, I have seen some threads that really were not so nice. Exp:  The one wear Lucy was being criticized for wedding invites. She chose to share her PM with us, I believe because she was hurt by it. ( I could be wrong here but I think I would be hurt too if I was trying to extend my hand of friendship and felt it slapped by unnecessary criticism.)  The first and foremost reason I come to this board is to read about successes and encouragement in weight loss. After all, I think we all share or shared the common disease of obesity.  I have been blessed to make some really nice friends along the way here. 
When it comes to religion, that is a very private matter to some and a very public acknowledgement to others.  Just because a person does not advertise their religious beliefs does not make them less than devout than others.  The same applies the other way, some people get an affirmation of their faith by sharing it with others.  I believe we should embrace both sides but remember we are not all alike.  I'm a practicing Roman Catholic in the South, and having been raised a Baptist, I can understand the misconceptions on both sides of the fence regarding these two Christian beliefs.
I think the bottom line is, we should respect each other with the utmost respect that we, ourselves, would want to receive.  If we are here to help others, then be willing to humble ourselves and our opinions enough to "hear" (or I guess, read) what is really being said (or written) then respond with what will be helpful not hurtful or not respond at all. I am writing this to myself too!
God bless you both
With love, Nanci

I never knew there was a problem. I guess I just ignore what isn't positive. I love you all and thank you for your prayers and support. What matters most in life is being ready to meet your maker and making peace with yourself and others.

Much love,
DebbieDoo

Love you my dear friend....and you are so so correct!!!! 

I guess I am as ignorant as can be because I don't know of any problems either?  I have NEVER in the ALMOST 5 years of being on OH received a negative PM, and I pray they don't start now.
I have found a place I can call home to a group of folks who are my extended family.
I have received love & support in the beginning of my journey, during and even now when I need it! 
The 2 people I remember when I began my journey who gave me inspiration are Elle & Lindy.  In the beginning of my journey, I remember seeing them on the main board and would read their profiles.  I wanted to lose weight like they did...I wanted to look as good as they both looked!  They INSPIRED me!
I have not always agreed with everything said to me on the board, but get real ~ that happens in families too!  Does that make me dislike the person who said it?  NOPE!  Just as everything I say on the board isn't always accepted by others ~ and that is OKAY because it is my opinion.
My point is that we spend alot of time on the petty stuff...like this!
The big picture is who have we inspired or moved to be successful?  Who are we rooting for?  Who have we been there for when no one else is there for them?
Have we welcomed a new member to the board?
When I type these words...I not only type them for us on the board, but I type them for ME as well.  Please keep your stones for another day for I don't live in a glass house!
Jackie