Psychology question??

Why do we continue to try & reach out to people who want nothing to do with us? I am talking about a friendship that has faded. It did end on a sour note, one that I never understood. I have apologized & asked forgiveness & offered my forgiveness as well. I know it can never be what it was, but I would just love to be able to send a birthday or christmas card & receive an acknowledgement of it. I truly cared about this person & her family for a long time.

What keeps people from beinf able to forgive & forget?

Why can I not accept that this person wants nothing to do with me?

I dont understand it either but you have US.

Some of us keep on trying because we love them. Maybe others because they can't stand rejection. Everyone's personality is different. I'm the type that can't stand to think that someone has something against me. I will apologize even when I've done nothing wrong. BUT, there comes a point where you have to let go and just leave it in God's hands. Just keep being you. If it means sending out cards with no acknowledgment then do it. I've done it for years with a certain individual. I refuse to give up. And yet I don't agonize over the relationship any longer. I'm fine and its not me with the problem. Sounds like its not you either. Some fences can't be mended, they have to be replaced.

Love,
DebbieDoo

Thank you for really good advice. I didn't cause this problem.

**Oh! And it's no one from this or any other board.** It's someone from my personal life.

I guess it just cannot be fixed. But, how do they live with it? Do they have so many loved ones that they can spare one? I do not.

I think maybe this person has "friends" that are fake. Not real friends, but prople that have something that is needed at the time.

I just don't have too many poeple in my life that I am estranged from or on bad terms with. I may bnot see or talk to someone for a very long time, but it's not because we are upset with one another, it's just a time issue or that we live far away.

Thanks to you guys for being here for me. I guess I am feeling a bit needy.

What keeps people from being able to forgive & forget?  PRIDE!!!

IMO, Lisa, I think pride gets in our way sometimes and causes us to hold on to the past.  Us humans have a lot to learn from each other and from the MANY MANY examples of pride hurting us and the ones we love.  The Bible alone offers this lesson over and over again.

I have had similar situations in my life. All I can do is offer up my apologies in a sincere manner and if the person cannot forgive, then offer it up to God to handle it from there. He always does a better job of peace making than I could ever do!

Take care, Nanci

You may have hit the nail right on the head. There is an issue of pride here.