Yesterday we heard from the police about the vandalism done to my sons car by his ex. I finally spoke to the girls mom, who was MAD at me for pursuing it!! Can you believe that? She said Mel told her she didn't do it. I countered with " they have her fingerprints". You can't argue with that. The mom then told me to get the estimates and she woul make Mel pay for the damage. She didn't want to hear or discuss anything else about it. For us it is not a matter of money..it is principle. When you destroy other peoples property you should be held responsible. My dillema is this..K at first wanted me to make them pay. Then she called him yesteray..and when I got home he had changed his mind. He won't tell me what she said. The new bf said some ugly stuff about me on his myspace page. I don't really care, I have been called worse by better. Now my son wants me to make her pay..then return the money to her. So what to do? I just want this nightmare to be OVER!!
Am I too much of a hovering mom? ( trust me, I don't mean to be) . I can't help it when my sons are involved in something that needs adult intervention. I know some things they have to learn and work out on their own. What most don't know is that I have been at the gates of hell with this child. ( suicide attempt at age 12) . AACCKK..Being a mom is not EASY!!

Make her pay for the damages and then you and K find a chairty to give it to. That way she has a consequence( if only a bit of one) and K gets to do something that will make him feel good.

That is an awesome idea!! I will pitch it to him later today.

Oh Renee...I am not even gonna try to give you advise, but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you to exactly the right thing to do.  Althea's idea was great!!  I understand fully about a hovering mom.  I am one of those   But I guess I just feel that when someone hurts my children, I have to step in, even with my married children.  I know you will do what is right.  You just continue to love your children as you do.  I love to see moms loving their children.  I see so many files each day of people who don't.  Love ya!!

Renee
She has to be held responsible. As Mother's (yeah YOU are a GOOD MOTHER too!)
we want to teach our children right from wrong and them learn to be accountable. I want this not just for my children but all children... if you don't hold her accountable she may think it's ok (as her Mother seems to think it is) and she will move on to bigger and worse things!!!
Tell your son you want what is best for her BEFORE she gets in over her head with something else with this new boy or something else.
I would want my son or any child that I know not just because I love them but because we need to train them and bring them up in the way they should go.
Not because we want to see her hurt tell your son but because we care enough about her to not want to see her hurt.. next time it could mean jail time serious jail time or she herself could get physically hurt.
I know being a Mom is never easy. I am praying!  

This girl needs to be held responsible for her actions.  Im guessing she is hanging with the wrong croud.  Im praying for you.