have we changed?

 OK, i was sitting at home last night and was thinking about what someone had said- said they didn't like the person they had become when they had lost alot of weight-    i know we all change when we lose weight, but have we become mean selfish people? i mean alot of people that usually post here have stopped due to MEAN pm's. I mean, really  think about it, if you were still FAT, would you still be mean?  i think alot of people's attitudes have changed for the worse now they have lost weight- we forget what it was like to be fat and have people be mean to us, look at us differently- we become those people that were so cruel to us.    We have got to treat each other with respect, love and courtesy-  the same way each of us want to be treated.      I may get some nasty pm's for posting this, but that is a consequence i will have to face when it comes  but i just thought we needed a reminder of where we used to be and how we were treated when we were fat/heavy.   I love you all,

I changed on the outside.  I did not become mean.  My husband said i dont take anybodys crap anymore and i speak whats on my mind.  But im not mean.  If i see a obesse person i try and help them or talk to them like i would have wanted to be treated when i was overweight.

I changed too - inside and out. I'm not mean, never have been that I'm aware of. I don't send nasty PM's , don't butt my nose where it doesn't belong, don't offer advise unless asked for it but like Stacy, I don't take mess from anyone. I will speak up and say what I'm thinking. I realize that I am only one person and my opinions are just that - mine! I try my best not to look down on people and I'm more willing now to open myself up to new friends.

Debbie Doo

The only change I am aware of is that I think about what I am putting in my mouth.  Things I used to eat without a second thought I don't even want anymore.  A girl at work made a comment that makes me think that SHE thinks I have changed.  (she was scheduled for surgery around the time I had mine and backed out).  But I have to wonder if that stems from jealously because I am losing so much weight.  I certainly don't take her comments to heart.  I am dressing better at work now because clothes fit better.   I have had several men at work confide in me that they are considering having WLS.  I don't get preachy on them or anything.  I just tell them it's one of the best things I ever did for myself and can recommend an excellent surgeon group.  I feel like I don't have to "sell" anybody on the advantages of WLS because they are seeing the positive results right before their eyes....my weight loss.  I hope that I don't ever forget how easy it was to gain all that weight and how hard it is to take it off.  I pray that I don't get judgemental or feel superior in any way once I am thinner.  I have walked in their shoes and need to always remember that. Sandi

When I was 205lbs heavier, I was always outspoken, and most of my friends referred to me as "sweet, and fun"...you know, the fat girl is always making jokes, lol.  Anyway, I do think I've changed-both inside & out.  I do know I pay more attention to the way I dress and the way I look when I'm going anywhere.  I care more now about how I look.  I do hope I treat others the same - that I"m not mean or spiteful, nor do I want to be known as the one with a bad attitude.  I do know others who've lost weight (WLS or not) who have changed drastically - left their old lifestyles (and husbands and kids) behind.  I don't want to be that kind of person.  I love my life now - all of it, including my husband, family and friends.   Early out, I was apprehensive about discussing the surgery with folks, whether they knew I had it or not...I think it was because I was afraid it wouldn't work for me, and they'd be there to say "I told you so" or whatever.  In fact, very few of my friends even knew I was having it.  But now, I'll talk about it with anyone who will listen.   I want everyone to experience LIFE - living - not existing! Great post, Tammy - thanks for making me think.  All of these negative posts are discouraging - this is  a support group, and nasty pm's are not any kind of encouragement.  IMHO, I think some people just need to get a life, lol. Have a great day! Lisa

Tammy,  I have changed inside and out. I am no longer embarrased to walk in a clothing store and go in the larger sizes..  I can shop anywhere now and although I still see myself alot bigger than what i am , I still care about how i look.  I did way back when but in a different way . I learned a valuable lesson though and that is people who used to be my friend or so I thought, no longer are...Some anyway ...It seems that they are intimadated since I now fit in a size 10 . My clothes may be 10 , my heart is the same as it always was .  I feel that many are jealous that i lost weight and I say that because they make comments like ...WELL I could be a 10 too if I let some Dr rearrange me ,,,,,etc ...Thus not everyone knows I had surgery nor do I tell people anymore unless they ask me point blank . I hate the word FAT and would never say that someone is fat or chubby or anything degrading of that nature as it does make a person feel less than when you say that even in a joking way . I do feel saddened that the world judges us by our dress size . Even in places of employment  if you look closely you will see it is done there as well . I am much more compassionate now because i have been both places ... I love my life now and thank the Lord everyday that I made it this far and still learning to live this new life everyday . Hugs  Shirley

  I will never call anyone fat either!  that is not a nice word!      I also know some people that have had this surgery done and gone off the deep end and let there whole lifestyle change.   I hope i can and do treat everyone with the respect and courtesy they all deserve!    Love you all!

Tammy...I hope I have changed.  I was miserable prior to surgery.  I hated myself and hated to go out even to work.  I would not look anyone in the face and if someone wanted to slap me down, I would not object.  Now as a few others have said, I will no longer allow people to treat me subhuman and I try to get other obese people I know to stop allowing it.  I want them to realize they are precious and they are no beneath anyone.  I loved people before, but I would never talk to anyone.  Now I try to let people know I love them and how special they are to me.  I love meeting people now, which I hated before.  I guess in some ways, I may have gained some negative attributes, but I try not to be mean to anyone.  If I have been, I sincerely apologize.  You have a great evening.