Jackie, Dana and Debbie R.

You all have put a big smile on my face today.  You will never know how much I needed those cards and how much they meant to me.  I love you all so much!!!!!  You placed some much needed sunshine in my life today.   I only hope that I can do the same for you sometime. 

Carmen, I evidently didn't use a good choice of words in PM'g you about the secret pals a few days ago.  I guess I'm the reason you needed the sunshine.  I started out in my PM telling you what a FANTASTIC job you have done and how much I appreciated your hard work and I meant that.  I went on to say that what I had to say in no way reflected on you or the job you have done with the secret pals this round.  You responded back by making a public post that "evidently" you had made a mistake in the secret pal program and you asked someone else to take over.  I know that was directed towards me.  I was only questioning the process by which secret pals are matched up.  I didn't think that two people are supposed to be sending each other stuff.  That's all.  With all the people that signed up it should be fairly easy to match 2 people who are not sending to each other.  I did say that this round has been ruined for me because I was being honest and I feel like it has.  I wasn't blaming you for ruining it but wanted to point out that this occured so it wouldn't occur again in the future.  I guess you took that to mean that you had ruined it for me and thats not at all what I meant.  Part of "fun" of this is NOT knowing who is sending you sweet stuff every month and when you know who they are, it just isn't near as sweet (thus the name SECRET pal).  I told you I would continue on with the secret pals because it was something I enjoyed.  I felt very hurt by your post and that is the main reason I decided to leave the Bama board.  You post sweet things on the board but the PM you sent to me was hurtful and I found it offensive.  I'm tired of all the PM's I'm getting from folks asking why I'm leaving.  Now everyone will know and the PM's will cease.  I forgive you for what you said because Christ forgave us but I won't forget anytime soon.  I never thought that something hurtful like that would come from you and it has surprised a few people too.  I  chose to post about this publicly since you made a public post in response to my PM.  I know you have many friends on this board, more than me, and I'm sure they will be angry with me for posting this.  That post was a jab that I didn't need and it couldn't of come at a worse time.  I have alot going on right now and I need love and support not posts that make me feel guilty for asking what I thought was a simple question.  Now everyone will know it was me that caused that post from you.   I wish you continued success with the secret pal program.  As I told you before and I will say it again, you are doing a FANTASTIC job.  I wish I didn't know who my secret pal is but I do.  Nothing can be done about that now.  Thank God that OH is a big place.  There are other forums and I can post there without feeling like an outcast and that is what I intend to do.  This is why folks have left the Bama board and went to other forums.  There is wayyyyyy too much drama here.  I won't be like some people who create another name and post crazy stuff, I'm too smart for that.  I am who I am and I'm proud of myself and what I have accomplished thru my WLS and I do not need another name to post under to say what I really feel.  I'm quite outspoken and it gets me into trouble.  This time being no exception. Vicky

I have to say last time secret pal the one who had me.. well I had her.  We both figured it out the 2nd month in and well it didn't ruin it for either one of us. She is a great person who lurks more than she posts but someone I look up to just the same. I probably wouldn't have figured her out though but UPS posted her name on the sticker. And I know my secret pal this month will know who I am long before I know who they are as I am the only one from Gulf Shores. And I can't always ship it from somewhere else and be creative or spend more money to make that happen when I'd rather be spending the money on them. I did not know what Carmen was talking about when she posted that - and she was HERE with me. I didn't know she had gotten a PM from you - I just thought she had alot on her plate and secret pal I'm sure is alot of work and you can never please everyone all of the time. I'm saying this because Momma is that type of person she doesn't publicly post PM's, ect. And never would I either.. or call someone out on being negative mean, ect and I've seen my fair share of it. I love Momma to death so don't think this post is because well she's my Momma.. OK? I'm saying this "secret" pal isn't about even being "secret" it's about having fun. I love my gifts even when I know it's from - it's FUN! It's exciting and I love all the connections I have made now for the past 3 rounds of secret pal. Even when I was in the hospital and husband sent gift cards. Sometimes we know RIGHT AWAY who the gift is from.. sometimes we don't ..  it's all the friendships and bonds we make along the way. Just my opinion. 

Vicky,

Looking in from the outside, because I do not even participate in the secret pals program.....

First, I could be wrong but I do think I remember seeing a post some time back from Carmen stating that she had a computer program that selected the matches for the secret pals. Carmen--correct me if I am wrong about this.

Second, regardless of the fact that two people are paired together as sender/receiver, receiver/sender--
anyone could figure out who their pal is with enough effort. I don't see that it makes it any easier to guess just because of the way it was matched up. Even if you figure out who your pal is, you are not required to reveal that you have that knowledge. YOU could play the game out until the end just for the "FUN" of it.

Third, I am sure it must be hurtful to your "PAL" to realize that you feel the secret pal program has been ruined for you. I can not imagine stating that my fun had been ruined knowing that the person who is sending to me would read those words. If I were the person sending to you, I would take it personally as if you did not like being paired with me.

And--I don't know you personally and I have had limited contact with Carmen, so I am not taking sides--but I do find this post to be most inappropriate. This is the kind of things that need to be kept to PRIVATE MESSAGES. Carmens post in no way named any one individual but only reflected that something had happened that caused her to want to step away from the program.

You speak of DRAMA and how hurtful it is to the board, yet you post this message and attack on Carmen in an open forum. This is a prime example of the DRAMA that leaves people hurt and looking for support in other places. I am sure Carmen appreciates your willingness to forgive her, but I feel equally confident that God knows Carmen's heart and knows that there was no intent to hurt you or to ruin the secret pal program for you, so I believe Carmen is free on Sin on this count and really does not need forgiveness. I was always taught that we should ask forgiveness for our SINS and that SIN is a "willful transgression" of the will or law of GOD. I feel Carmen has provided this board with a lot of unselfish love and a huge amount support and her time and to imply that she needs forgiveness for that is wrong.

I read a post from you yesterday stating that you were leaving the board. Now today, I come to this board and read this post from you. Carmen started this thread as a Thank You to some who had shown her support and love and you felt the need to take the post and make it all about you and not about Carmen. This type of action makes it appear that you are seeking attention for yourself and trying to turn others against each other.
If you want to leave a board or feel the need to take a break, that is all you have to do. You can step away without making a major production of it.

I have been on this board for a number of years and I have seen a lot of people come and go. I go through times where I post more than I do at other times, but I don't ever feel the need to announce that I have to leave or go away because of actions of others. I am responsible for me and my health, mental and physical.
IF this board becomes detrimental in any way, I am responsible for realizing that. Likewise, if this board has become a problem for you mentally or physically, then you have to make a decision to take action as you feel
necessary, but there is no need for you to go on the attack of others in the process.

I think you have friends here and I am sure everyone here would tell you that you are more than welcome here. I think, often, people find on this board, what they are looking for. Those coming looking for support and friendship will find it. Those coming looking for drama and strife will find it as well. I have stated before and will say again--a message board is just that. It is not a replacement for FAMILY, FRIENDS and LIFE. You can not let the things that happen on such boards become the most important things in your life. While these boards can be a source of meeting people and developing friendships and relationships, they can not replace the day to day contact you have with your family and friends.

I am not trying to attack you and I understand that you have a lot going on in your life right now. I am just saying that I think it was most inappropriate to publicly say to Carmen the things that you did.

I wish you the best and I hope that you find a resolution to the things that are bothering you. And remember, even in the darkest moments---you can reach out and touch the hand of God. He will never fail you.

Carolyn~

First of all Vicky, I will apologize and if need be, I will publicly post the pms sent back and forth from us.    I am not ashamed to post anything I send.   No, it was not because of you that I needed a little sunshine.  I promise.  Evidently I need to post what is wrong with me.  I went to the gulf with my mother to have a small vacation.  That turned into a nightmare and then one of my sons is on drugs and is married to a drug addict and thief.  I also have a daughter who is having problems right now in her marriage.  That is why the cards were so dear to me.  God knew I needed them and used those three women to send them on a day when I was so down to help pick me up and they did.  I hope you never have to deal with a child who is a drug addict because it will truly break your heart especially when your own mother will not even try to understand and support you in this.    Julie and Randall were the only two people on the board who knew this until now and I guess now everyone will.  Normally I am very private, but I thought I should tell you why I was down...no Vicky...it was nothing you said.  I love my child and my heart is breaking.  Again, I am sorry for anything I have done to hurt you.

Carmen, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through with your family, I know as a Mom, when our kids hurt it is 100 times worse for us.I pray that  God will give you  peace and that He will minister to your kids as only He can, He knows exactly how to reach them, its just so hard tro wait on His timing, sometimes. Jan M.

Jan, I truly appreciate your prayers.  My son was called into the ministy several years ago and has been running from God.  I have prayed that God would send someone to him and HE did.  He lives only a short distance from Julie.  It was really weird because they use to live almost right across the street from each other and I did not even know it until last year.  Julie has been a huge help and she and Teddy have helped my son and his wife so much.  God is faithful and I believe His Word that promises me that If they are trained in the ways of the Lord...when they are old they will not depart from that.  I know my son will come back to God.  I just have to keep praying and seeking God on his behalf.  I bath him in prayer and have given him and his wife up to God.  Again, Jan...thank you so much.  You will never know how much your prayers mean to me. 

Carmen, You are so welcome, that is wonderful that they live close to Julie, its only a matter of time, before they are where God wants them to be, I am sure of it!  Jan

I love you so much.. And Adam is truelly like a brother to me. Sometimes I feel like giving him a hard swift kick but I know that wouldn't do any good. I am praying for him and I know God is going to keep at work! Leigh left tonight going back to Birmingham she is moving in with her parents. I pray that they can help her and that she just lets go and lets God.  We went to see her and told her goodbye. Teddy told her until she put God back first in her life - nothing would be good for her. She has lost it all over again. Her job, her car, her home, everything important. God is putting her on her knees. I know that!!  She cried and said I know I have felt a void in my life but when I was at the Home of Grace I didn't feel that void because I had God. I am praying that she knows now no drug can fill that void but God can make her whole. I understand what you are going through because I've been through all of this with Leigh. I love her like a sister. But I can't do it for her.. I've done so much this time I shut the door. I said you can't come here - I can't help you. YOU have to do it!  It was so hard - so very hard because I want to help everyone and fix everything and it breaks my heart. So I certainly understand your breaking heart tonight.  I love you-- just wanted to share this with you.  Adam is going to be fine though because God will put him where he needs to be!!  Have a blessed Sunday- you are in my thoughts and prayers, Momma!!

 Tears are streamin...my heart is now heavy for you my friend.  I am so sorry you are dealing with this.  I cannot IMAGINE how you are feeling right now, for knowing your children are going through this.  The power of prayer is STRONG...and you are right, Adam can run, but he can't hide from God. I love you Carmen.  ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGGSS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) from me to you!!!