Sham friends vs. Real friends: How to tell the difference

In our lifetime, we may have many friends, but the list of "real" friends will probably be very small. "Friend" comes with a loose definition, as there are different types we call friend. Each can have placement in our lives, but in a different way. You may have a friend who you have fun with, but would never feel comfortable telling your deepest secrets to. Then there is the friend who you can trust with anything; the type that walks beside you in life, a kindred spirit.

What I consider to be the difference in sham friends and real friends...

Sham: Asks for favors often, but never offers to do favors for you. In fact, they may refuse or feel burdened if they do anything for you Real: Will offer to help before you even ask and if you do ask, they help out, willingly and without resentment

Sham: Talks about you behind your back Real: If they have a problem with you, they discuss it, face to face, and in a respectful manner

Sham: One-dimensional. They see only their needs and is oblivious to needs of others Real: They are in-tune enough to sense your pain, your needs and are supportive

Sham: Full of excuses for why they have no time for you - often only coming around when they want something and that something isn't YOU Real: Wants to make time for you because they genuinely enjoy being with you and "choose" to nurture the friendship

Sham: Their actions don't back up their words Real: Their actions are proportionate to their words, instilling trust and dependability

Sham: Makes fun of your imperfections Real: Overlooks your imperfections and if you choose to improve yourself, they are encouraging and supportive. They may even join in.

Sham: Will try to lead you down a destructive path Real: Will encourage you to go down a constructive path. They will be by your side as you do.

Sham: Will drain your energy dry Real: Will enhance your energy

Sham: Asks to borrow money often and never pays you back Real: Only asks to borrow money if it's a true need and always pays back in a prompt manner. Willing to lend you money, if need be

Sham: Cuts you down Real: Builds you up

Sham: You feel like running from Real: You feel like running to

Nurture your "true" friendships. As a rose withers and dies, without being tended to, so does a friendship.

I love this.  I tell people that I have many acquaintances, but only a few true friends.  Friends will tell you when you don't look good and if you need to use a breath mint .  My best friend is brutally honest with me and I love that in her.  Thanks for posting this. 

So true. You know if we sit back and watch for a while you can usual tell who is true freind is and who is not.  I will not say anymore on the subject as I am going to be good tonight.

You are so right Louise. It doesn't take long to find out. I appreciate you very much!!

DebbieDoo