A little concerned

I have a bit of a dilema...I am heading to Newfoundland this weekend for a week because I have an ailing relative.  We lost my Dad in June of 2009 and although my Mom is trying to be helpful to my uncle, I fear she is struggling emotionally and may be in for a bit of a tough time when my Aunt actually passes.  So in my traditional, I can take care of everyone mode, off I fly to Newfoundland.  My fear is that I know my propensity is to make sure everyone else who is close to me is taken care of, I know that this mentality has often meant that I do not take care of myself.  Yes I will admit some of this is control, and having adressed my inner control freak through this process I can recognize my desire to not return to those patterns.  I am afraid that returning home will also return me to my old patterns while I am there.  I know my family generally does not make the healthiest of food choices, and with the increased stress I am sure that is just multiplied.  I am going to  bring some of my favorite snacks and plenty of crystal light in the event it is difficult to get my hands on in small town Newfoundland but for the first time through this journey I feel as though I will be scrutinized for what I am eating...these are people that do not want to see food left on the plate...I know I am rambling but I think the more I ponder this the more worked up I am getting...how do I let go of the judgement (perceived or real) that I will be feeling when they all see me.  The 80lbs is definitely noticeable and I am proud of every pound I have lost this far...has my mother told them all that I am having surgery....how will that be met?  Every other person that I have talked to about this has been simple...why is my family different...UGHHHHH

D.

just went throught going home for a visit. usually when i go, its eatting drinking, and a good time to be had by all. i didn't tell my parents about my surgery because they too said, do it with diet and excercise.and i wasn't going to tell them. i was gonna say i quit drinking. they knew i had surgery but i had told them it was for something else.  well they did figue it out, i'm only down 25lbs, but they knew i had to gastric because i had mentioned it a couple of years ago. they still don't underrwstand by i did it but took it quite well.  as far as the eatting went, when mom made lasagne, i ate the meat sauce with salad, when chinese food was ordered, i ate mostly the greens and beef. it went much better than expected. i did take my protein drink to ensure i had that every morning to keep my protein level up. i also bough myself a container of cottage cheese. really there was nothing i could do to prevent the fact i was eatting only a portion of what i used to eat. yes i too am the first person to run and take care of everyone else but now i can't replace food with my emotions (or booze) accept the fact that your life has changed, be prepared to look after yourself because if you are not healthy or feeling crappy how can you be the emotional rock that you went there to be.   good luck, things will work out better than you expect and your family loves you for being you!

I went through this at 2 months post-op and again at 5 months. I rushed home due to my dad and his illness, never took anything with me for snacks and stuff but I was able to get the things I needed home. I drank plenty of fluids to keep me hydrated and I was on the go so much that when i did stop and someone asked if I had eaten I'd say ya before I just did before i got here  and sometimes it was true and sometimes not.
Some people noticed my new eating habit of a smaller plate and portion but they really just though it was stress related.
Oh ya and none of my family or friends home know about my surgery so maybe once or twice I got a comment of "wow that's all your gonna eat, **** I'd starve" but I just said smaller meal more often works for me.
The other thing is my sleeve doesn't like flying and it gets very tight and feels weird. It really takes me 2 days to get over it. I'm not sure why it happens it just does.

Kee