How bad was your anxiety/fear before surgery?

Hi everyone...can you please share your stories about how bad your fears and anxiety was in the days leading up to surgery and how you got through it?

I think mine is bad because my husband keeps asking me things like what if I lose you and it's freaking me out. I'm trying to be sensitive to his feeling but it hard to do without getting myself worked up as well.

Any suggestions to help calm him or myself would be very welcomed.

Ps I am having open rny on Monday.

Hi Lindsay -
I was very nervous about my surgery- I had never had one before, and have never had a serious illness really - never depended on anyone in that way before, never experienced serious pain.

The thought that I focused on was that yes, surgery is very risky, but at least I understand the risk and know what is before me. Without the surgery, the complications of obesity that might have killed me or caused me disability or illness were just laying in wait - heart attacks, stroke, diabetes, debilitated joints, cancer, lack of relationships, depression, etc.

With the surgery, at least I could see the risk and take it on as my decision, made in a proactive way to improve my life so that I can be there for the people that I love, so that I would not be a burden on them in the future.

I won't lie, it was painful and sometimes the harder parts were just loss of privacy etc. but I had great care and recovered quickly. Morphine is awesome!!!
And now I feel so much better in just a few months - more energy, less joint pain, happier. It is still an emotional process for me in losing this weight but I am so glad that I did it.

good luck with your surgery Monday!
~mtrai

Honestly, I think I was one of the luckiest people when it came to surgery and anxiety. I'm normally an anxious person but I found out only 5 days before that I would be having my surgery. I was so busy with having to get the Dr's to fill out the pre-op forms and then get into the city for my final weight in that before I knew it, it was surgery day.

Once I was up in the holding spot to go into the o.r. I was kinda like oh **** it's happening but it wasn't until I got on the o.r. table that it hit me and I was like talking a mile a minute due to becoming nervous and my heart rate went up so they gave me something to relax me and it was like they shut off the lights in my brain, I remember nothing else until waking up back in my room and wondering how I got in bed and that was like at 10p.m. Wonderful drugs I tell ya.

Good Luck with everything and just remember the reasons why you are doing this and no matter how hard it is to get through the weekend, Monday will begin a whole new life for you and your husband.

Kee.

Hi Lindsay,

Well, my experience was somewhat like yours. With some differences.

I was not even considering surgery when I started my journey. But after I had lost 100 lbs, I was completely and totally terrified that it would all come back. We all know the roller coaster of weight loss, down and then back up again with some extra thrown in there. Well, I decided right then and there that the surgery would not only help me loose the rest but then to ultimately help me keep it off and stop the roller coaster ride.

I had done all of the learning and research prior to telling my hubby about it. My hubby is my biggest supporter of loosing the weight, but he absolutely hated the idea of surgery, he just said 'Can't you keep going the way you are?' We talked for a month or so until the time came for the surgeon's appointment. I went by myself. Dr. Birch approved my RNY but insisted upon seeing my hubby for his consent. We went back in to see Dr. Birch a couple of weeks later. After talking with the Dr. my hubby refused to give consent, he was terrified of loosing me.

Oh boy, I can tell you that I was very upset. I don't cry often but I cried all the way home. Hubby and I talked for two weeks. He finally agreed once I showed him the roller coaster ride. I know he didn't want to agree, but he knew that I wouldn't leave him alone about it... so he did. We went back to see Dr. Birch and he set it all up.

The week before surgery, my hubby was a basket case!! He was making all kinds of preparations for me being gone. Going through all of my last wishes, what type of funeral, etc. Even as far as making a list of who I wanted to attend... lol... I knew that he was trying very hard to be prepared but he's a pessimist...

I just kept reasuring him that nothing would go wrong and that I would be home in a few days. (I don't think he ever believed me) The day of the surgery, I was completely fine, but he was a nervous basket case. Once I make a decision, I'm usually set, so I wasn't anxious or nervous or even scared, but my hubby was all three rolled into a very tight ball...

I was in surgery for 6 hours, and hubby paced the halls. I don't remember much of the whole day after surgery but the nurses finally sent my hubby home... (thank God) The next day he was right back to normal. I had survived surgery and would be coming home.

I don't think there is anything we can do for our spouses accept to reasure them that we love them dearly but we have to do it for ourselves. Being grossly overweight shortens our life span and depletes our quality of life. I would rather take a knowledgeable risk now and extend my life instead of playing Russion Roulette with obesity.

That's how my journey started. Now I'm down 175 lbs and my hubby is just fine with everything... he claims I'm getting too skinny... lol.. But I can tell you that he's even friskier now than he has been during the last few years... LOL... (what a GREAT bonus)

Melody