Dealing With Comments

This may seem weird and most people will probably be like...oh shush up and enjoy the comments girl but I just can't and I'm not sure why.

I had my RNY on July 13 and proceeded to get sick and ended up having emergency bowel surgery because the thing decided to shut down on me, on July 19.  My surgery was kept pretty quiet before surgery.  I didn't want to have to defend my decision and so forth.  Well with my complications, I landed in the ICU and I wasn't around to the places that I normally was so it got out that I had surgery. 

I'm not ashamed of my surgery by any means, and if people ask I am very, very open about it and don't mind talking about my journey or the process. 

BUT now, I am tired of the comments...and they are nothing but positive.  I just feel like everyone knows I had surgery and I am the WLS poster child.  ESPECIALLY in my church where I was the biggest person and one of the most well known....just because I was involved in a lot of stuff. 

I feel like everyone is watching me and looking to see how I eat, how much I eat, what I do after I eat, and how it effects me.  and how much weight I've lost.

Some people pass and will call me skinny...well I'm not anywhere near close to skinny right now.  Or people will ask me if I went to the gym that day, what I did, how long my work was and blah blah blah.  Well excuse me! You never asked what I did at the gym before surgery where I was going for 2 and a 1/2 years before surgery.  Why are you so curious now?

I don't know...maybe I'm just being over emotional....which wouldn't surprise me because that's all I seem to be lately...but how does everyone else deal with the comments?  Good and bad.

 

You are not alone!  I can't handle compliments, either! 

I try to be polite and say thank you and leave it at that.  Sometimes, if they go on complimenting me, I get flustered and don't know what to say.  Part of me gets a bit bitter because I'm still the same person on the inside, just the outside looks a bit different.  I wonder how they thought about me before?  I just have to tell myself to snap out of it and tell myself I'm thinking too deeply on it and let it go.

So far, the smile and thank you have worked best and then try not to think about it. 

I wonder if the people who have been skinny their whole lives think about it as much as we do?  I doubt it!

People are seeing your amazing results Adrianna!

They are going to be curious, they are probably wondering if they could do it too.  Maybe they can't outright ask how you got started, where you got started...so they are planting seeds.

As overwhelming as it can be, you are definitely in a position to inspire those around you (even more!).

Maybe tell them, hey, thanks for asking.  If you are wondering what I'm doing because you want to make some changes...I"m more than willing to tell you what my journey is, but please email me (or whatever you choose).  That way you have control over the situation, you don't have to stand there and be in the spotlight on a moment's notice...and you can help where and when someone needs or wants it. 

Or just say, thanks for noticing my successes, that means alot to me...and then smile and move away.....LOL

Hugs
xoxo

Dreena

About 8 years ago i lost 100lbs, went from 329 to 225.. everyone had to talk about my weight..i worked in a mall and i was the centre of every conversation from customers to staff... everyone telling me how great i looked! I started getting really resentful.. thinking you didnt tell me how good i looked when i first got to 225lbs!! I was annoyed, I was self concious.. I didn't see that I looked great in the mirror! I still looked the same just a little thinner...

I am hoping that this time around I will be able to handle it or as some of you have said say thank you and walk away or change the subject..
But it's true that they just see the success and wish they could do it for themselves... they want tips and some miracle advice... So I am honest about what i have done and will talk when I feel like it not when pressured to...hopefully in time as someone said the curiosity will go away! lol or we will have to move.. JK

I think it takes a while for our brains to catch up what our actual image in the mirror so for me I don't see the "Me" others see. When people I know or just acquaints I've meet due to working in the public comment on my weight loss I try very hard to just plainly say "Thanks for noticing or Yes I've loss some weight and then change the topic.
I've never been one to be the center of attention and I find sometimes it makes me quite anxious. I've even shyed away from people at the clinic I've met on here for fear of intruding in their space. I'm always worried about what others think and sometime forget that I need to worry more about me than others.
And Oh Adrianne you're not alone with the emotions, I've been bad lately and I think its got to do with the rapid weight loss and hormones or at least I hope so cause if not I'm more of a sap than I use to be.
Keep your chin up girl and be proud of yourself. You are all an inspiration to me and your comments and support means everything.

Kee.

Thanks all. I guess it will just take some getting used to eh?

I am proud of myself...and I am FINALLY starting to see a difference in my looks..even if others have been able to notice it for a while now. lol.

Wow Adriana, Kee and others... thanks again, what a great thread!!
I completely relate. Some days I feel exactly the same as before, and can't see the loss at all. Other days I feel amazing and can barely recognize myself in the mirror.
I just tried on the one outfit and dress from my largest size, and it was hanging off me, when just months ago it was tight and I though I looked great. It was really emotional for me.
Not many people comment to me, other than I am looking good in general, but no mention of weight most of the time. I think I give off a pretty major vibe that it's none of their beeswax! Only my closest family and friends know, just a handful of people knew I had the surgery.
In some ways this is tough too because it is only a forum like this or my clinic appointments where I can share the process I am going through, and have some understanding.
~ mtrai