Reflections on the Past to Help in the Future
Hi All!
This morning, I spent the past couple hours composing an email to a friend and EBSG member who has been having a rough time of it. The more advice I provided, the more it became reflective process for myself. It helped me take inventory on what I am doing and not doing. I think there is some good information in there and I wanted to share it for whatever it’s worth. If nothing else, it’s a reality check for me and posting it will help me to become more accountable as it’s now public knowledge. Enjoy!
Cheers!
-- Alex
EBSG Co-Moderator
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Sorry for the delay in my reply. It's busy and stressful these days with family obligations for the holidays. You probably know how it goes.
Anyway, you've made a first good step here. Reaching out for help. The group is really where you need to be. Surrounding yourself with people who have been there or know what you are going through is key to keeping your head in the game. So, my first suggestion would be to get yourself to the next meeting. Yes, it may be embarrassing, but these people will not judge you and are only here to help and be supportive. On the other hand, maybe confronting your issues within the group will be a valuable kick in the pants that you need. Something to think about.
Secondly, you seemed to have answered your own question in your email. Let's look at what you are not doing. Not wearing a pedometer or logging. For me, my pedometer is almost an extension of myself. As long as I have a pocket, I'm wearing it. I use it primarily as a step counter, but it's also an activity gauge. It tells me how lazy/active I've been during the day. If my count is less than 7500, I have to do something to get the numbers up.
As for logging, I will admit that I hate it with a passion and I would be a liar if I said that I did them religiously. Some people can do that, but it's not for me. For me, I have a good handle on what things cost calorically. So, I'm constantly adding it up in my mind all day long. Sometimes it's over, sometimes in under, but I'm usually in the ballpark. For the clinic purposes, I usually only log for the 3-4 weeks prior to a meeting with my dietician. I also use Spark People for doing my logging since I can take it with me on my mobile devices. It certainly helps.
You have to have a clear idea of what you are eating and one needs to be honest with themselves. I still have trouble with this today. I'll say to myself that I worked out for an hour and can have a bag or two of chips (baked lays mind you) and it won't count. It all counts!! Yes, the 80/20 rule can apply, but it should be used as the exception, not the rule.
As for my progress, I've done fairly well overall, but not as well as I had hoped. Sure, I lost 93 lbs, but it took 14 months. I wanted 100-120lbs for the first year. So, I am way behind my own goals. I also stalled for about 2-3 months between Sept-Dec and was losing and gaining the same 10 lbs over and over. Frustrated the hell out of me. Then, a few weeks ago, I dropped the 12 lbs that I wrote about. I was thrilled, but it was short lived. The two weeks following that loss, I regained half of it back. I was frustrated and disappointed. I **thought** that I was doing well. As most people have said, the surgery isn't the hard part. It's the mindset that you have to deal with. It doesn't get removed along with your stomach, as you've likely found out.
What adds insults to injury when it comes to deal with my mindset, my dietician suggested that I should lose 160lbs in the first year, but wasn't allowed to lose more than 2lbs a week. I know...Don't try and do the math. It doesn't work. So, I'm hoping for the 160lbs by my 2 year anniversary. Secondly, I've been watching Dawn lose weight without even trying since she's medically disabled due to her chest pain and fainting. It's most likely that she's not eating enough, but I also know that we have totally different capacities. I can eat twice as much as her. However, the point is that she's doing so well and I'm struggling. It frustrates me that I'm not as successful.
While Dr. Karmali will say that all sleeves are cut to the same size, I am skeptical. You and I have the same issue. We suspect that we have much larger capacity than most. How is that possible? I don't know. Either we have prematurely stretched it out or it was larger than normal. I would assume, based on nothing more than my own uneducated opinions, the latter for a couple reasons:
1. As patients with higher BMI, we are candidates for revisions to the RNY. Maybe they need more to make the connection.
2. With the larger amount of weight to loose, we likely need more nutrients to service our bodies. Making the sleeve the standard size, might severely deprive our systems and make losing too risky and fast.
Portion Size - I believe that one of the reasons why I am not as successful as I should be is because of portion size. I tend to eat through the sleeve as I have a higher tolerance for pain than most. So, I get the slight discomfort, but I don't stop right away. I'll keep going a bit longer. I need to start listening to my body more.
Snacking - The easiest thing to do is overeat as we can graze over the course of the day. The "100 calorie conspiracy" has nailed me more than a few times. It's easy to eat 2 or 3 100 calorie snack like chips or cookies. The size is small and the calories are low. However, do that a few times a day and chicken sh*t adds up. So, I try not to snack outside of my 3 meals a day. I know that's hard because it's not what the clinic teaches, but I would be eating all day, every day, if I followed that eating schedule.
Liquids - I've likely been screwing myself as I went back to carbonated beverages. I just couldn't hack the Crystal Light and Nestea Zero much longer. I don't even flatten pop, which I know is an issue. Apparently, I will get a floppy sleeve, according to my dietician. Not sure if that's a scare tactic or the truth. Either way, it hasn't stopped me. :( However, I am trying to get back to flavored water. Costco sells 36 bottles of Nestle Pure Life for about $10 plus all the taxes/fees.
Exercise - I mainly walk as a form of exercise, but I'm getting back into recumbent cycling these days. My iPad has made the process more enjoyable as a I can watch something to keep the monotony. I used to swim before I had surgery. It was good, but I got bored of it. Well, I should say that I got pissed at the dumbasses at the UA pool that don't know how to read a sign that says to swim clockwise in the lane. Idiots!
Point of advice - Only weigh yourself once a week. I know people who weigh themselves a few times a week or even a day. I think that's the road to psychological hell. The body adjusts too many times during the day to make it a reasonable metric. So, once a week is good enough for me. If I'm down, I'm happy for a week. If I'm up, I stew about it for a few hours or a day, then move on. You have to learn to let go and move on. Otherwise, you'll get into a funk and then it's 10,000x harder.
As I move forward to my 18m checkup in May, I want to lose as much as I can. However, if my past 6 months are any indication, it's going to be friggin' difficult. I **HAVE** to work at it. For instance, this week I've been riding my Lifecycle an hour a day for the past 6 days. However, I'm sure my loss will be minimal as I fight the effects of multiple Christmas meals and goodies. Hopefully, things will be better once I get back to work full time and fall into my routine.
In closing, you NEED to work this process. It's an everyday battle and there is no "Get Out of Jail Free" card. There are days where you don't want to do anything. I know, but you have push through it. You need to visualize what you want to achieve. You need to have something like a nice dress or suit that you can see yourself wearing in the future. For me, I have some t-shirts from places/events I've been too. I'd like to wear them someday. Attitude and determination are key in this battle.
You've had a setback and it took a while to break the funk, but you're now regrouping. Asking for help, looking at what you're doing and not doing was the first big step. It's always difficult to admit to ourselves that we are failures and need help. However, this is start of the path that leads to success.
My apologies if this went further than you wanted or is a bit preachy. I do tend to get carried away, but I hope there was something useful in there. If you have any specific you want to know, let me know. Otherwise, save it for the meeting on Jan 10.
Cheers!
Alex
Kathy S. · 0 replies · 944 views
