Seriously freaking out.

OMG I am seriouly having a freak out anexity moment.

I just got off the phone with my sister who was approved today for Lap-Band surgery. She seen one of Dr. Birch's team member and he thinks that the band is the best choice for.  It's super exciting new for her.

Anyway I am seriously so excited for her and the chance at a healthy life BUT........ I am so scared that I won't have that chance. I have so much anexity about my upcoming visit with Dr. Karmila that I'm stressing over it like BIG TIME. Barely sleeping these day, it's on my mind  24/7. Just typing this and letting my feeling out really makes me want to throw up.

It's freaks me out knowing that one person can have so much power over me and my emotions. I somehow feel like he (Dr. Karmila) is God and his decisions will rule the rest of my life. I know that there is a healthy thinner me inside this 240 pound body but what if the Doctor doesn't think so.

It's a good thing i'm not a drinker cause this stress would send me over the edge and into AA...lol...I guess I might as well laugh at myself cause if not i'lll probably cry.

Thanks for the venting session. Now hopefully I can get some sleep.

Hello there Keelan,

   Hey girl, I hope that you can find a happy place with regards to all of this.  I am most certain that your surgery will not be cancelled.  The only reason would be if it were totally unsafe to do so but you have come this far.  Although at times it may seem like it, I dont believe that it is a matter of them having power over you.  I really do believe in my heart and soul that the doctors that do bariatric surgery do it because they have an inate sense or profound knowledge about how devastating life can be when one is obese.  I beleive that they are too compassionate to force one into a life of that hell for any other reason than that if the surgery may ultimately do more harm than good for the patient.  I know you are so close you can taste it and that you have been doing all the right stuff. 

Just keep in mind that your ultimate health and wellbeing is what counts here, mostly to you but to all others involved.  Please hang tough girl.  You didnt come this far for nothing.  You can and will do it. 

Also, it would help calm you a bit if you took some calcium and magnesium.  They are sedative minerals.  That and a cup of chamomile tea.  Oh...and dont forget to breath. 

Take care
Straw Walker

Hey Kee!

I know how hard it can be to tune out all those thoughts that make you anxious, Its like trying to get a song out of your head... impossible until it comes on the radio and get it out.

Just know that you have friends who are cheering you on and who sincerely want you to have the surgery that you need.

Life unfolds for us as it is meant to and you need to trust that your journey is taking you in the direction you need to go- then give it up to the universe.

(I'm not a super spiritual person but sometimes its just easier to trust in something outside yourself.)

Take a deep breath and let it all out!

EVERYTHING is going to be fine!! Once you see the suregeon and have all your worries put at bay, you'll be able to relax. The appt will be here and gone before you know it and you'll wodner why you even worried. You'll not be turned down-- what would be their reasons? You're doing great and the next step is to aid in the prevention of weight gain and aid in more healthy weight loss.

I'm rooting for you, even when you are having a rough day. We all have them ! Best wishes to your sister- you'll most likely be in there around the same time and able to continue on the same path!

Huge hugs to you!!

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom.
I just hope and pray that things work out the way I fele they should.
I don't know what I would do without this forum, I've said it before and i'll say it again, I have never met any of you other than Kims hubby and kiddies but I feel like I know you all already.