TO TELL... or NOT TO TELL???

This kinda came up at our most recent meeting.. I am just wanting others opinions...


do you tell friends family co workers boss.... that you are going to have weight loss surgery.. or just keep it to your self?.. or only tell a few people... how did you guys do and .. and what would yoou have done differently??

Sarah

Hi Sarah,

I told everyone!  At my work I took it slow and told our HR person first.  I felt I should cover my butt and be sure that I was a loud to talk about such personal stuff.  She was great about it and helped me explain it to my boss.  I was really medical about it.  I explained it as I have a medical problem,  I told them I was refered by my family Doctor to an obesity clinic to help me with my obesity.  I explained that I was assigned at team whi*****luded a dietician, OT, PT, nurse, psychologist and surgeon.  They  know that along with education and theraphy my team feels that I will be the most successful at losing  the weight and keeping it off with bariatric surgery.  My work is really supportive and they want me to do what ever I need to do inorder to be happy and healthy. I figured that people are eventually going to start asking me how I lost weight and I better have an answer.

I find some people want to know more and have a lot of questions.  Some people don't have any questions and just wish me luck   When I make it about my health most people are very supportive.  So far I have only had a couple of people tell me I should not do it and they were mostly just concerned about me altering my insides so much or they really did not know much about modern bariatric surgery  only stories they heard as a kid about people who got there stomach stappled. 

I find talking about it openly and honestly helps me to stay focused and provides me with a lot of support.

Katrina

I am usually really open and honest, I don't feel that there is any need to hide or defend my choices. I have told only a handfull of people. My parents who are the most loving people in the world are not at all comfortable with the whole surgery thing and sort of tune me out when I mention anything about it- including attending modules.

At work, I have told them that I was going in to have a hernia repair and possible surgery to repair ulcers. I have GERD and anyone who was near me when it was not being treated with pills knows I was in a lot of pain.

As for the rest of the people in my life, I sort of decide what to tell them as it comes up. I have one friend who is so incredibly supportive and that helps.

Also, having the support and understanding of people here is amazing!

Since I'm a stay home mom I dodged the telling the boss & co-worker  bullet but my husband sat down privately with his boss and explained about all this medical time he'd need off to take me to Edmonton for clinic appts etc. His boss was very understanding and supporting, granting my husband time off on top of regular vacation. No one else in his workplace knows of the nature of his trips and he's not telling anyone unless I would like him too.

My mother is supportative of all the changes I have undergone in the last 10 months. She is all for the surgery and is happy that I'm putting myself first for once in my life.

I have told a handful of friends and have gotten " Wow-- that is awesome" to " Why in the hell do you need to do that". The later coming from my bestest friend of 15 yrs. I think the hard part for her is the struggle with her body and healthy concerns and that I'm not there in NS to help her. I'm not the biggest friend anymore and sort of passed that role on to her. I know it hurts but I was done sitting around waiting for the magic cure to make me magically shed my weight.

In all honesty, at this point in my life, I really don't care what the views of others are. I'm doing what is best for me and my family and no one else. I'm proud of my accomplishments thus far and I'm ready to venture onto another path . I'm going to go through a filter system on my journey and once everything and everyone has gone through the filter and the dust settles, the ones that are willing to be with me are going to remain strong and be there!

Everyone is goign to have a different view on this and you have to do what is right for you. :) Good luck and remember it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's your life on the line!

I have told everyone ... that i am in the weight wise program.. to learn to be more healthy. and they have noticed that i have been loosing some weight. But should i have surgery... im just wondering if i should tell people.. I will tell my closest friends.. my parents.. hubby.. but just wondering about work.

sarah

I am the only female at the gas plant where I work and some of the guys here are bodybuilders,, others are couch potatos. But all of them seem at piece with who they are and don't seem to struggle with things like I do.

I decided not to tell them what surgery that I am having, only to tell them I am likely to be having surgery (I hope, eventually) to treat a hernia (truely have a hernia) and possibly treat ulcers (also have them), my dr says that the surgery for treating both would have similar recovery process as VSG.

I don't look at it as lying, just preserving my privacy. I work 8 days on/ 6 days off and live in camp with this lot. I really need to have some things that have nothing to do with them.

I meant they seem at PEACE with who they are, not PIECE.

English is hard.

Hello, For me its not so hard, I work in a larger Medical Clinic with about 15 doctors. My Boss was great when I told her and so was the HR. I'm the booking clerk so have my own office so I am not really in close contact with my co-workers but My assisstant was great about it.  My husband is happy and excited and because he is the Manager the our Camrose Depot he is just going to plan his yearly Holidays during that time.

My family(Mom) and best best friend are being really supportive too. I love them. 

As for extended family, I am not going to tell because they don't need to know. Its a tool, I didn't blab to them when I joined Weigh****chers/ Jenny Craig or started any other Diet. Its a personal thing I guess.

Chrissy

For myself I have pretty well kept to in the closet sort of speak.  I ahave told my sister, who is also in the program, my boyfriend and my cousin.  My sister and cousin have been very supportive,when my appts are split up my cousin offers me a place to say and a shoulder to lean on. My boyfriend is warming up to the idea but things any kinda surgery is serious and risky. But he now realizes I'm doing it for a healthier me.
I don't think there is really any right or wrong way to go about this I think its just personal choice. Once approved for surgery I will sit my boss down and explain stuff to her, I know she'll be supportive.

I only told a few chosen people when I decided to have the surgery, most people closer to the date of surgery cause I didn't want to keep getting questions constantly about it.  It worked out well for me to decide who to tell sooner or later.  With work I told them about a month before and had no problems.